INFJ vs ENFJ - Which One Are You?

#infj #enfj #mbti

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Luann Instagram - @luannknepp

[largovivaaustin]

Hi I’m an INFJ, and used be great friends with ENFJ. We had so many things in common except that he was more open to extracurricular activities than I was. He was more comfortable to go out and help people, yet sadly no one really gave him that save energy. I would have tried to be there for him more, but I honestly didn’t understand much of myself until now. It’s definitely one of my biggest regrets.

[homehome]

I love how the INTJ becomes the vilian of comparison, thanks.

[rayw]

4:10 -- 4:28 "extraverted feeling is a tool", ... "not something implicitly valued...." Excellent.
INFJ diabolicity.

[CaveyMoth]

It's always funny to see my INFJ coworker get overwhelmed. Actually, it isn't funny. I feel bad for her. But it's cute to watch as she scrambles around, trying to get everything together. She carries an agenda around all the time, and it hurts my brain trying to comprehend how she's able to get so much done in a month. INFJs really do excel when given time to plan.

And it's true; she can seem quite cold at times, especially when accomplishing routine tasks. She's so sympathetic, yet she talks to people like a darn robot. My mom, an ENFJ, is the opposite. She talks to people with EXPLOSIONS of emotion. Everything the other person says seems to be met with, "Oh, my gosh!"

[Jclarno]

Great video as usual! As an ENFJ, over the years I've developed the ability to go into logic mode and risk confrontation to speak truths that I think are important or to speak up for myself. These things definitely take a conscious effort, but I've discovered that it is essential for longterm success in relationships. It also helps me weed out the toxic people in my life. I love to help people, but I've learned to accept that some people are beyond my help. It's been a very freeing realization.

[solarisan_]

I would like to add several things that people might find helpful. ENFJs tend to engage first, reflect second, while INFJs need to observe first and decide to engage (or, not) in a given situation based on that observation. Here is an example that illustrates the difference between dominant Fe (ENFJ) vs auxiliary Fe (INFJ) which is based on finding a pattern in behavior shown in more than one situation. My best friend, who is an ENFJ, builds connections with people immediately. If she sees a dog, a cute child, … she simply goes over to talk, hug, or engage in a social interaction that blurs limits/barriers. While I (INFJ) tend to be aware and respectful of certain social protocols and barriers that most of us have, so such an interaction from me would be highly unusual. I need to ‘read the room’ before engaging in any social situation.

[JokerCrowe]

I definitely agree with your assessment of the INFJ and our use of Fe and Ti.
Since Ni is my main function, it's not something I can "turn off" - it's basically autopilot - but with Fe, I feel like I can "switch gears" to "Ti-mode" sometimes (2nd and 3rd gear if you will).

I also think it's what allows us to do the dreaded "doorslam": eventually our empathy is just not going to cut it, and if we don't see a future with a person, we might switch to Ti-mode, and unapologetically slam the door.

I think an ENFJ would have a harder time slamming the door in the same way and being that "cold" towards someone, since their Fe is in autopilot. ENFJs can feel free to correct me in the comments though.

Good and interesting video as always Nathan!

[elizabethleach]

It's really weird my sister and I are an ENFJ and an INFJ. We feel like the same picture colored differently. Similar biology, similar upbringing, similar personality. We have fun comparing and contrasting ourselves all the time.

[monikasuszek]

INFJ here. I’ll give a typical example of dealing with performance anxiety by planning. I was invited to a barbecue party. I checked the weather forecast two times. I called my friend (the host) to ask about alternatives in case of rain (quietly hoping for rain as a way out) and to discuss what should I bring to eat with me. I was definitely not satisfied with vague answers and thought about this for a day and further discussed it with my husband. During the party I talked with a group of people for about an hour but then I HAD TO go and sit on a swing and just look at the sky because I got tired of all those interactions. The rest of the party I’ve spent barbecuing myself, drinking wine and talking occasionally to people I was serving food. The hosts asked me several times if I wanted a brake but I was perfectly fine with it. I had fun.

[Kiki-Delivering]

I am an ENFJ who discovered I operate like an INFJ when I am in an unhealthy state of mind. In university I studied abroad and our professors introduced us to a lot of internal reflection work, we were 21 students from all over, but mostly from under the Western umbrella of the world, we ended up saying that we had to adapt more to each other than to the Middle East. Understanding each other’s mode of operation changed not only how we interacted with each other, but the world (we had more mercy on each other amongst very different personalities). It also made us reflect on whether we operated as healthy versions of ourselves or unhealthy versions. I am a 3 on the enneagram and 3s in their detriment act like unhealthy 9s. I realized I spent a large portion of my life operating entirely burnt out and unhealthy because I thought I was an introvert (that is what my parents called me my whole life), and that it was okay for me to be alone any second I could get. In reality, my body and mind were trying to recover from over exhaustion I was putting myself through. I am truly happiest when I’m thrown into chaos and going to the party and expressing my ideas. I connected my INFJ-ness to the reclusive, slower moving, non-confrontational 9 on the enneagram, it’s not me when I’m healthy.
I find whenever I go back home, I want to talk to people less and get away from everyone and be on my own, I’ve learned it’s a place that is very hard for me to be the best version of myself in, and my mother even last week said, “oh, it’s just cause your an introvert” 😂😂😂 It’s fine, I’ll let her keep thinking that, as I run away from my home town in the RV I just bought 🎉🤠

[LiliAqvq]

This is the best thumbnail I have ever seen

[SanneSan]

Yess I was waiting for this video, thank you! 100% INFJ. Oddly enough I enjoy performing (in small quantities) but it's strange given how anxious it makes me simultaneously... Planning for it indeed helps a lot. Also, my sister told me once I give off INTJ vibes from time to time. 🙃

[vx]

For enfjs, Ti related tasks could be a source of insecurity, where they tend to find reassurance from the people around. I observed this from enfjs I know. Guess Infjs don’t need to struggle there.

[christineherrmann]

ENFJ. Not a lot of effort to keep stuff together, pretty organized easily. I don't love chaos, but I can absolutely give you your pictures in under an hour. 🤣

[brittl]

OMG this is scarily accurate. My mom is ENFJ while I'm INFJ and literally (and i mean *literally* literally) everything you said is so freaking spot on lmao

[TheLinaChen]

It me! An ENFJ! To the club I go! Untz..untz…untz… 💕

Jokes aside, definitely aware to see if I’m ever taken advantage of cause of my kind heart. 🥺🙇🏻‍♀️

[punkbunnee]

Ooh goodness kinda feel called out but this is so true. As an INFJ, I've had to work hard to create distance after accidentally drawing people in too close while trying to learn from them. But then I feel genuine empathy for them, typically. This is because I genuinely care for people and want them to be healthy and happy, but I don't want to let them in close. I just want to learn and use the gained knowledge to help them and others, and they think I'm in love because learning animates me. It's more of a facination than adoration. Typical interactions with random people:
"This is amazing. People are amazing! I love that you are capable of this! Wait, now you are hugging me... OK yes, I think I like you too. OK but not the touchy touchy... Please no the touching! Where have your hands even been? No no no not touchy the face!! *runs away*"
I have tears thinking about it now! but no please don't see my tears as a sign to hug me! Unless you are one of MY people. In that case, please hug me without giving me time to overthink or decline the offer because I'm actually melty at the very core past the tough middle layer (shh don't tell the others)

[austinsmithson]

Great video, I really enjoyed this one. I am an INFJ and I am actually married to an ENFJ. We are truly very similar and it's been fascinating seeing how we are similar, and exactly how we are different. I know this would not be a great "recipe for success" for all couples, but it really works for us. Thank you for this video - very informative!

[christian-ze]

Thank you for an accurate description of intuitive feelers! Kind of rare.

[jenniferdragonfly]

🥳🎉🤗🎊 CONGRATULATIONS Nathan! I've been around for quite some time and I have to say that I've NEVER been disappointed by ANY of your content.🏆 Honestly, thank you for sharing your knowledge with us.
Your ways are unique and very much appreciated. It's been quite the adventure to 100K and I'm looking forward to the 1M mark in the very near future, sir. 🥳💐