The privilege of losing: paying the cost of winning

Many people have not yet achieved the success they desire because they have not yet been willing to pay the costs of winning. One of these costs is surrendering the privilege of losing. This may sound counterintuitive at first blush -- "privilege" is good, "losing" is bad -- but it turns out that there are many benefits to losing that people are loath to forgo. I discuss a number of these privileges in this episode.

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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.

#psychology #success #win

[psychacks]

Many people have not yet achieved the success they desire because they have not yet been willing to pay the costs of winning. One of these costs is surrendering the privilege of losing. This may sound counterintuitive at first blush -- "privilege" is good, "losing" is bad -- but it turns out that there are many benefits to losing that people are loath to forgo. I discuss a number of these privileges in this episode.

Buy my book, "The Value of Others"

Book a paid consultation:


Social Media




Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community:

Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com

Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.

#psychology #success #win

[marriagecausesdivorce]

“There are no solutions. There are only trade-offs.” Thomas Sowell

[hansjuker]

I lost a significant amount of weight and some of my closest friends told me I needed to start 'humbling myself.' Let me explain something...I humbled myself plenty while I was laying around in my own misery and filth. But then I spent the last 4 years in the gym. 4AM, snow, rain, 6 days a week...I lost over 200 lbs and I don't need to humble myself to anyone.

[stevenc]

I lost my alcoholism. That’s a definite win through loss.

[Mattjohnson]

When you succeed it's amazing how many people who "Are so happy for you" slowly ghost you. They really just wanted someone to wallow in their misery with them to make them feel better about being mediocre. So pathetic.

[nGuy]

Another point: we're accustomed to losing. We're used to it. It's familiar. Winning is unexplored territory and therefore scary. We don't know what might happen. Referencing some of Orion's early themes, men want peace in relationships; we don't like drama. The prospect of winning has the possibility (probability) to upset a lot of apple carts.

[juliagamotska]

I have won alot in my life. Not everybody is happy for you, thats right. My conclusion to keep things secret in order to keep relationships.

[yoongilifeu]

This is so true. Misery likes company is something I see around me very often. There are more people who want to see you fail and stay at their level than push the boundaries and leave your level and be better than you. All the false reassurances and wishes disappear very quickly as they see you doing much better than them and achieving success at levels that others are deluding themselves that they can. I am at a point in my life where I have an opportunity to leave my comfort zone and test the boundaries, but the familiarity of my environment is what was making me hesitate. This video is what I needed, and now I feel more confident to not feel worried about leaving the "misery company" and push the boundaries and create the change that I have been dreaming of. Thank you for this video.

[ChrisKimDMD]

I got his book from Amazon, and enjoying it. If you feel this channel is like little gold bits and pieces scattered, the book is the gold mine.

[FivePointsVids]

As a Giants fan I needed to hear this today

[monicamccready]

This is so true. Most people can't find empathy for people who are doing better than they are. You succeed, but you're on your own.

[TheJojo]

My family is financially well of. I am currently restoring a classical mansion. Today I told my coworker about my passion project and how much I love doing it. I think they hate me now. Reactions were very bitter. This video came at the right time.

[quicksno]

I finished the book last week and have to say that it was an illuminating read.

[btwthblood]

I've learned that EVERYTHING is meant for my To hold everything with open hands and look for the lessons. For they will help me grow and to be at peace.

[xsliquidity]

"Why not explore the limits of that, which, you are truly capable?!?" ... that's the Jedi mind trick right there

[dontokoi]

Losers not having any responsibility and being surrounded by people who don't want them to succeed: every mental health discussion on reddit.

[martianhaze]

Just finished reading the "the value of others" and holy shit is my mind blown, I am simultaneously excited by my new found understanding of how relationships operate and disappointed by modernity killing lifelong monogamy in favor of cheaper, more convenient and self gratifying alternatives, nevertheless if its the way things are now then it is what it is. thank you for being as objective as possible.

[YoYo-gtiq]

I just wanted to leave a comment to say that out of 209 reviews on Amazon Orion's book has zero one-star reviews, 02 star reviews, and only two three star reviews. That is a very impressive achievement

[vladivf]

Of the seven deadly sins, envy is the 2nd most common after pride these days. It's what prevents a lot of people from making friends and meaningful connections. People these days envy you for anything basically; even for the smallest of successes.

[JasonHain-zt]

I didn't become financially independent until I was in my late 40's, and I'm still in my 40's. In addition to having purchased my second home and earning money on a monthly basis through passive income, I've also achieved three out of five goals. I just hope this inspires someone to realize that it doesn't matter if you don't have any of these things yet, you can start today no matter your age. Change your future by investing! I made a rather big decision by investing in the financial market