Break Free From Nice Guy Syndrome

You don’t have to be the “Nice Guy” forever. If you suffer from Nice Guy syndrome, there are specific things you can do to break free.

Dr. Robert Glover and I have spoken many times about the evolution of Nice Guys over the years and what it means to be a nice guy in culture today. If you want to learn how to stop being a nice guy this video is for you.

00:00 - Intro
2:42 - Stop criticizing your partner
3:52 - Practice exposure therapy
7:23 - People pleasing
9:33 - Confrontation

Find me on social:

Video hashtags:
#ManTalks #MensSelfImprovement #MensWork

[ManTalks]

Let me know in the comments what you would add to this

[Pacolad]

It’s hard to notice when you’re being a “nice guy”. The part that makes me angry is that I have to take responsibility for not knowing any better. I was raised in abusive household by women so I feel like so much time has been wasted now that I’m learning this stuff.

[capone]

- Brutal honesty
- Trying to be courageous despite being afraid
- Not to stand where you are not wanted
- Not being afraid of loneliness
- Self-sufficiency
- To know how to fight but not to be belligerent
- To be able to say no
- To be able to say yes

- Don't be afraid to speak your mind
- To be able to fulfil tasks that you do not enjoy
- Not to panic
- Not being afraid of criticism
- Being authentic
- Not needing the approval of others
- To go after what you want

[JoeMama]

Don't Fear Rejection Embrace it because it means you're are willing to do the Unknown!

[danieloloughlin]

I've struggled with this for all my life. Became everyone's punching bag ruined my confidence. Went from passive aggressive victim to overly nice and timid. Felt very confused. Now I communicate honestly. I know I have a lot of work to do. But It will be worth it. Letting everyone walk all over me in hope of making friends. Now I have a few friends now and I don't expect people to be nice to me after I've been nice to them. I know my worth and value now.

[TresWinn]

The exposure therapy section is very helpful. "Sharpen yourself against the relationship by engaging consciously and asking for what you need."

[nathanielshapiro]

As a guy who still struggles with this, I think the art of disagreement and the willingness to express your needs cannot go understated. it can be confusing at times when the terror of rejection is almost embedded in your knee jerk responds to pushback regardless of the reason. Partly because pushing back feels so black and white. Filtering, being mindful, and calm in these moments can be extremely difficult so thank you Connor. Every video you have put out feels like each puzzle piece I needed to start getting my shit together.

[elbertwhitehead]

I’m enjoying your talks. I’ve been both bad boy and nice guy. I lost my edge as a man of stature after combat. Completely devastated and severely depressed. Adjusting to civilian life still seems foreign to me. Finding a sense of self-worth and being able to engage during disagreements became extremely aggravated and disruptive for me. I changed by becoming accommodating to people. IT DOESNT WORK. Try not to go back to the literal beast I was has kept me imprisoned. Finding my way back still feels like a place I’m not sure I can reach. Thank you much for the encouraging words.

[scottparker]

As I look back in my younger years, being nice is disgusting!! Be kind!!

[sgtsalazar]

I'm more than thankful for your channel.. after 25 years about being completely clueless as to what a real man is, and how I really want to be like... this is a BLESSING! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Watching your videos, taking notes, really thinking about how I did things wrong in my past relationship. So much to learn, it's crazy.

[notnotandrew]

A prerequisite to standing up for what you want is knowing what you want. That's my issue. I'm so apathetic and accommodating that I can hardly tell what I do want from what I don't. If I had a well-defined vision of what I want in every circumstance, then it'd probably be pretty easy to fight for it - but I don't know what to fight for.

[bransunmitchellartist]

One of the things i have been doing since i picked up “no more mr. Nice guy” is Dr glover says to ask for things that are difficult to ask for, its quite uncomfortable, but also quite worth it.

[mikegrantham]

I have definitely suffered from the nice guy syndrome. Being non-confrontational and avoiding conflict has been my worst habits. So not getting my needs met has become a real issue for me now, but I am working at it.

[robertyoung]

Amen, I am still afraid of rejection, but I've been getting better. I used to get really frustrated every time I was told no, but I can handle it better lately. Love all your videos.

[ignite]

my relationship with my ex ended about a month ago. i know now that my nice guy syndrome played a part in our relationship ending. i always tried to appeal to her wants/needs in hopes my wants/needs would be met by her, without maturely communicating in fear of rejection. i don’t want to sit around and fall into the same trap in my next relationship. i want to put my all into breaking my habits. i want to be slow to criticize or judge, initiate and stand by my needs/wants, stick to them and get comfortable with confrontation. i’m writing this mainly for myself, to make that first step of commitment. and i hope guys like me are on their way to being a better man as well.

[davidgallo]

This video is so timely, I'm single but been the ''nice guy" to my family at large and I'm also a follower of Jesus so its hard to find the balance between serving others and loving my neighbor and keeping healthy boundaries. I'm in that process but definitely a lot of guilt beats me into submission to doing things to avoid causing issues to others who need my help at times.

[rainmanjr]

Getting calm with confrontation, know what the contention is and do not try to hide from it. I think I'm finally learning how to express it without going into a manic bipolar moment that really bothers people but my firmness of voice is also off-putting for them. If they deserve it I have some fun with it, now. I'm not in a relationship, anymore, and very little interaction outside business, which I'm inclined to be wary of, or hostile toward, anyway. I liked the calm, even, but firm voice that I had this morning at such a meeting. I felt like I was expressing myself like an honest adult.

[OmarHylton]

Thanks man, much appreciated, hopefully I can change after 44 years of being the pushover nice guy that I’ve been.

[ARdave]

“You have to be willing to engage in confrontation you absolutely cannot avoid it. Every nice guy is trapped in the nice guy archetype because he is trying to change without confrontation”

Omg man you nailed it. I see this is 2 years old, I would love it if you re visited your thoughts and ways to combat nice guy syndrome. The way you speak of it is even clearer than dr glover himself in my opinion and I would love to hear more

[nhut]

I just followed your advice, and im sleeping on the sofa now. Thanks bruh😊