Blue Valentine – Lessons of Life & Love (#2)

Are Men More Romantic? Ryan Gosling's character in Blue Valentine certainly thinks so. The love story in Blue Valentine can teach us much about why so many romantic relationships fail.

►► Do You Think Men are More Romantic than Women?
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Blue Valentine follows the relationship of Dean (Ryan Gosling,) a hopeless-romantic high-school dropout, and Cindy (Michelle Williams,) an aspiring doctor studying pre-med. As we see them them fall in love, and start a family together, tensions begin to grow and they must fight to keep the flame alive. Through their journey, they give us many lessons we can relate to our own lives. These are the Lessons of Life and Love of Blue Valentine.

Here I break down Cindy and Dean's love story by exploring:

• Romanticism
• The notion of love at first sight
• Why relationships can fail
• How men and women approach relationships differently
• How we can communicate better by using Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages

As Dean puts it:

"I feel like men are more romantic than women. When we get married we marry one girl. Cause we're resistant the whole way until we meet one girl and we think I'd be an idiot if I didn't marry this girl she's so great. But it seems like girls get to a place where they just kinda pick the best option or something. I know girls that married they’re like. “Oh he’s got a good job.” I mean they spend their whole life looking for Prince Charming and then they marry the guy who’s got a good job and is gonna stick around."

This is the second episode of this new series, where I delve into popular tv shows and movies, and explore what wisdom we can gather from their characters and storylines. In this way, we can use popular culture to improve our relationships, dating experiences and overall quality of lives.

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#BlueValentine #RyanGosling #Relationships #VideoEssay

[ij]

One of the roughest, but most realistic movie about relationships I have ever seen

[oscaroidabagatsing]

This movie is so terrifying, almost as if it’s a tragic horror story that can happen to anyone. I don’t think there’s another non-thriller movie that gave me so much anxiety that still haunts me to this day.

[GenEXReviews]

I got divorced in 2016. This is the most accurate depiction of a marriage ending I've ever seen on film. I could completely relate to both characters especially Ryan Gosling. The script is a near identical transcript of my real life exchanges with my ex-wife. Its almost scary how accurate it is.. This is a must see for anyone considering marriage or a divorce. This is as real as it gets.

[zacharyjamesdixon]

The older I’ve gotten, the more I’ve become more like Cindy. When I first saw this I was a hopeless romantic like Dean and would have fallen in love and married the next person I felt liked me even a little bit. But I understand more now. And this movie, as depressing as it is, helped with that. For better or worse.

[Harshal]

Love is about educating one another to become better versions of themselves.

[rudimerm]

Well said "We all enter relationships with the hopes that our needs will be met." *It all starts with fireworks and then we realize that fulfilling our needs by others are also met with sacrifices.*

[ananyadutta]

I loved your method of explanation. The movie, to simply put, left me aching blue.

[Adam-uiyn]

I think the issue was they were both bad at communicating their needs. He was flawed for not figuring out how he should be in the relationship (a few times he literally asks her what should i do) and not being ambitious enough to improve himself. It's actually admirable he's content with his life, but that shouldn't come at the expense of wanting to improve.

Her flaw was she was always running away (at one point he mentions how he's sick of being rejected all the time). Even in their very initial meeting she kept putting him off, overly reserved and not communicating her feelings effectively. Dean has good intentions even if his methodology is lackluster. I believe they could have made it work if she was willing to give it a chance. Of course the passion will fade but I'm not convinced they were so incompatible they couldn't make it work.

He could have taken on more responsibility at the home which would allow her to pursue her aspirations. This way he's content with his life currently and she doesn't feel her potential is being stifled. On the other hand she could have figured out exactly what she needs and communicated that to him better. As well as been more open to him in general instead of so closed off.

[lobostriker]

This movie really surfaced some of the relationship trauma I experienced from the past! Very good film!

[artbyreedie]

women love conditionally, men love unconditionally. just over 3 months ago now I split with my ex of 6 years. we were deeply in love, especially for the first 3/4 years. i moved jobs to be closer to her when she was at uni, i would look after her when she was sick, take days off to be with her all while not moving forward with my own life/career because i was all about her. this eventually is what lead to the breakdown of our relationship. over time she grew anxious that i would never amount to anything. i realise now she’s gone that i need to focus on myself rather than put my all into someone else. at least until my career has progressed. in hindsight, look after number 1 and your number 2 will come in time.

[Nathaniel_LaVern]

Watching this movie on valentines day a month after a 2 year long relationship breakup probably wasn't the best choice...

[zeynabshjai]

thank you, please make more of these life lessons 💛

[dirtyfingersninja]

thanks, going thru this right now, you did great explaining it.

[shoresAK-]

This video was just so amazing! Watching the movie and then watching this video really put things in perspective for me. im a guy who really dont belive in love or seek it. but in a way i want it,
i related with Dean and see myself in him. That scares me now

[Alex-jvhd]

my take on the film and what i can relate to it is that everything that is good eventually comes to an end.

[harshwardhansapkale]

Well made video.... got what I wanted from it... Thank you

[MustCtv]

Wow! You really gave me I different perspective to this movie I never really seen before.

[julieene]

Thank you for this video, you opened my eyes on a thing i have never thought about !

[kayayoga]

This is too realistic, Potrays marriage ending so honestly....so relatable

[bojack]

It disintegrated because neither of the characters were compatible in the first place and both were oblivious to the dysfunctional behaviours that they brought to the relationship.