Marriage in 2024 - 4Chan Greentext Stories

#4chan #greentext #stories

[Conan_the_Based]

The wheels all fell off at "Go on dating app"

[Noelle]

>Go on dating app
>Dog wails in the background
Even the dog knows dating apps are bs

[squamd]

Here's how it works: it doesn't work.

[Woogoo]

And how are we supposed to maintain a relationship when we gotta work for a 6 figure paycheck just to live in a closet

[picivyvortac]

Modern dating works perfectly, like a Bethesda game engine.

[Cyphlix]

3 people who use dating apps:
* attention-seeking women
* top 5% chad pump&dumpers
* bottom 95% 'looser' men

[Saint-hamudi]

I am sitting in the train right now, and this roastie said theres just too many men in the irl single meet ups.

[yezki]

See the difference is, today, after we got milkshake for the boys, we go straight back to work, so we can pay our debt/mortgages

[Alex_Fishman]

Remember when dating apps/websites actually helped people get together instead of forming a half-assed relationship out of an encounter that was determined by what kind of phrase one of the parties uttered to get the other's attention?

[JimB.Walken]

Op forgot to add that is a 50/50 that the kid is even yours

[TheAmericanCeasar]

I once talked to my great aunt after the death of her husband and she told me with that she would have married him the second she seen him for the first time. They got married quite literally a month after they met.

[ubrfrnzy]

>Try dating apps
>1 match per month
>She ghosts you everytime even if you think it's going well
>Never goes on a date after trying for 2 years
>Time to ropemax

[franck-oqjv]

How high does a bridge have to be to make sure all my bones break when they hit the ground?

[Xeem_Pad]

You forgot property split after divorce

[willr.]

>Have a Military-style workout routine

I love boldly lying on the Internet

[Spartan]

Be me circa 2003
High School Junior (3rd year)
Make a list of 100 girls to ask out based on compatibility quiz that the school does for fun
Get 99 rejections in a row, some were pretty bad
100th girl is out sick, figure to substitute 100th girl with girl I talk to after classes
Talk with girl that punched me in the stomach months ago for making an inappropriate joke
Girl is definitely a "tomboy"
Girl says yes she will go out with me
Figure its not going to last 3 months
3 months goes by, no way this goes on for 6 months
6 months goes by, I figure no way this goes on for a year beating out my previous relationship of 9 months
1 year goes by.... WTF is going on here... half heartedly propose, she says yes
Father thinks its funny and says "you found your first love, its probably not going to last past high school"
2 years later, still together, Father then says "you know son, I think you got something here"
17 years (total of 20 years) we are still together, married, I have a daughter who is 5, and a son on the way

Its not a fairy tale, its my life, this is an accurate summary of the events, its not been easy, but its certainly been worth it. The due date for my son is the end of July 2024.

[anotherbloodyfanwriter]

Man living on a planet without children in 40 years gun be wild.

[fwa]

You forgot the last word "Women" ☕

[chadsensei-uejn]

1950. Get drafted. Sent to Korea. Bayoneted by a Chinese soldier. Story ends.

[NainoLoL]

When you put it like this it's like we do live in a dystopian, capitalistic digital future from a Sci-Fi movie...