How Psychotherapy Works

Psychotherapy holds out the promise of being able to help us with many of the problems that ruin our lives: anxiety, self-hatred, shame and confusion... But how exactly does it work? On what basis can it help us?

FURTHER READING

“When one is in a bad place in one’s head, the modern world offers three main sources of solace: psychiatric medication, CBT and psychotherapy. Each has its own advantages and drawbacks. Medication can be exemplary in a crisis, at points when the mind is so under siege from fear, anxiety or despair that thinking things through cannot be an option. Correctly administered, without requiring any conscious cooperation from us, pills play around with our brain chemistry in a way that helps us get through to the next day – and the one after. We may get very sleepy, a bit nauseous or rather foggy in the process, but at least we’re still around – and functioning, more or less.”

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Directed and illustrated
Natalia Ramas
@natalia_ramas

Animated by
Daniel García

[ilya.petersen]

Four years ago I committed myself to a clinic because of severe depression. The clinic had a multidisciplinary team of therapists, with a heavy focus on psychotherapy. For eight months I spend five days and nights a week there, immersed in therapy and communal living. This was after I spend the two and a half years previous in social isolation. During my stay there I delved into my past, took a long hard look at my personality, and worked on my diminished social skills. I learned that my childhood, while being fairly happy, had left its marks. I learned I had developed tendencies associated with avoidant and obsessive-compulsive personality disorders. And I learned that while I'll always be an introvert, I love being around people, and I need to be around people. After I was discharged I decided not to finish my history degree at university, but to pursue a carreer in forestry. Working with my hands instead of with my head. At the moment I have a fully paid apprentice position four days a week, and I attend forestry school (trade school) one day a week. I'm 32 years old now, and I've rebuild my life from the ground up. Psychotherapy was partly the wrecking ball and partly the new foundation. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, and at the same time committing to it has been the best decision I've ever made.

[gizemgurkan]

I love my therapy sessions for the way it shows me how distorted my view of the world had become. It’s like looking into the clearest mirror in the world. I regret not starting sooner.

[stanksmax]

‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ talking to someone that *really tries* to understand you is probably one of the best experiences in life

[Cynthia-Landers]

6:36 "One has to stumble on a _good_ therapist . . . " So very important. A lot of therapists can be the wrong match for you, or just aren't very good at it.

[sabrinaschietaert]

I went through 7 years of psycho analysis psychotherapy ( there was A LOT to go through) and l can honestly say it saved my life! I can relate to all the things that's been said here! I'm 36 now and for the first time in my life l have a healthy nurturing relationship! It was a difficult decision to make at the time, but looking back at it, it was the best l ever made! If you feel stuck, and the same patterns keep on repeating itself, maybe therapy is something to consider. But be prepared to work, to feel real hurt, real anger, real sadness, but know that you're in a place where it's okay to feel all these things and let yourself heal!

[MichaelJayValueInvesting]

Sometimes it helps just having someone to talk to!

[octaviaroodt]

I went to my first session of psychotherapy today... I felt a bit silly, as if I shouldn't be there. As if its meant for people with terrible things happening in their lives, people who can't function. I hope to stay open in the next few weeks and get to the bottom of things that I can't throw onto my loved ones anymore. Thank you, Alain. You are a part of laying my ghosts to rest.

[thebeardedbread]

Despite all the good that psychotherapy can do, I think it's so important to emphasise that it needs to be done well. I had a really bad time with a therapist where we basically delved, uninhibited, into deep childhood trauma faster than I could process. Sure, I learnt a lot, but I also had greater problems with suicidal ideation and anxiety. I would have 'counselling hangovers' where I would feel really out of it, and in the end I had to stop. However, I've had plenty of other counselling that has really helped me - so I would always advise people to take their time, take it slow, and always checking in to see how you're feeling. Talk to your therapist if you're feeling overwhelmed - I know I felt under a lot of pressure to 'get my money's worth', getting counselling as a student and then on a minimum wage. This might be tempting, but take it slow! It's really not worth rushing, and in the end, does more harm than good.

[raazz]

The timing of this video is perfect as I just finished my therapy session and I can say with certainty that getting into therapy was the best decision I made for myself. I changed considerably for the better!

[Sandwichartist]

Seeing my therapist has to be one of the greatest chances I have had to be genuine with another person. I knew I needed help, I knew I needed to be honest, and I knew I had to believe it would work. With that mindset and a great recommendation, I am starting to see success in my emotional maturity.

[felistigris]

I think Alain de botton aims to teach the world that the world can be fixed with psychotherapy for everyone. And I agree.

[jeninahmad]

This video is obviously in favour of psychotherapy but I feel it somewhat downplays the importance of CBT. I did DBT (CBT but with mindfulness being a large part) along with talk therapy. It really changed my life. It’s not so much arguing with reality than it is untangling the bunches of intertwined necklaces in your mind. Whenever I overreacted to something, slowing down to understand what emotions I was feeling and trying to trace them back to the cause really made it easier to calm down. Understanding how my thoughts were contributing to a worse mental state made me analyse how I had picked up the language of people who had put me down before. Learning to validate your own emotions was something I HAD to learn. As you said - you need to be in a good mindset to do psychotherapy. But for those who’s mental illness and past trauma play an active role in their life - CBT is effective and extremely helpful in getting you to that better place.

[SunlessDawn]

I'm in therapy for 3 years now and this video gives a lot of insight in that progress and how I feel with it. So either it's a good video or I have a good Therapist but it's probably both of it :)

[bealitha]

At the age of 66 I had a year of psychotherapy with a counsellor from the Revival charity who specialise in sexual abuse. It has been life changing and life saving. It was offered to me by my mental health team who stated that there was nothing else left to try. I had to wait over a year to receive my treatment but well worth waiting. Because the number of sessions available is so small I had to engage very quickly with my counsellor and be very open to and willing to try his suggestions, especially building up my self worth. I am still struggling with many issues but now recognise unwelcome feelings when they bubble up from nowhere and am able to self soothe, enabling a less stressful existence and more happy feelings.

[marianacarvalho]

I started psychotherapy last year and it was probably the best decision i've ever made in my life. It helped me get through some traumas, it even helped me get in touch with myself more and more. Nowadays I think more about my feelings, where they come from and I will always talk about them with my therapist. It's so good, and it's so true to say that they become the good parent that we needed <3

[ellajo]

Couldn’t have put it better myself. And, yes. Psychotherapy was the best thing I have ever done. It was the making of the me I always knew existed within. I gained the courage and strength to be who I truly am.

[wolfferoni]

It's also important not to get too attached to your therapist which can be difficult when, as you said, they become your first good relationship with a person like the parent you should have had.

[suzannescorner]

Thank you for this beautiful video

I actually enjoyed psychotherapy because my feelings were analyzed and not dismissed by the therapist.

I was asked to let go of my pride and learn how to confide

[intoconjunctions]

I loved this. Thank you. I have tremendous gratitude towards my therapist (and towards myself) for taking me through the journey of psychotherapy. I no longer take pills. I now meditate periodically and carry on with life, happy more or less. Deeply grateful.

[philipcuypers]

6 years of psychotherapy have changed my life, or rather it has helped me to change my own life, because in the end you have to take up your own responsibility after you've gained certain insights and, foremost, learned to trust the therapist. Best decision I've ever made and will I ever make.