The Psychology of Male Loneliness

Why are male friendships so hard? This film explores the psychology of masculinity and the barriers to intimacy between men. Can we redefine what it means to be a friend? #MaleFriendship #Masculinity #Psychology #Intimacy #Loneliness #Connection

FURTHER READING

"There are, of course, exceptions: buddies who know all about intimacy and cosiness, camaraderie and connection. But let’s state the darker and more general truth plainly: friendship is difficult for men. For every man who can claim a decent male friend, there must be at least eight who – in the honesty of their deep minds – know they have none that truly merit the term..."

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Natalia Biegaj

Title animation produced in collaboration with

Graeme Probert

[naee]

The timing of this is insane. Just got dumped then i realized i had no one else to talk to

[athul.m]

"Defending an illusion that they never asked to be a part of" damn

[bflv]

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them."

~Henry David Thoreau

[Junaid_Faisal]

It's a very bittersweet thing, the same male pride that can motivate us to reach new heights can also lead us to the darkest parts of our lives

[Jaasoe]

The way we are conditioned to become robust, and say "It is what it is". We slowly become hardened, and numb to our feelings. And as a consequence, many men never develop the ability to self reflect and acknowledge a problem. A lot of women are way better at communicating how the sociatal norms influence them negatively. But most men never realize it for themselves. They just suffer in silence. Alone. Blaming themselves for being weak. This is such an important thing to talk about.

[ScheenNierSteen]

Was vulnerable with male "friends". Got used against me when I was weak.
Be carefull with who you trust.

[imsotallytober]

As a man who is open to vulnerable conversations, I can tell you, most men won't even entertain the idea. You're statement is brushed off and swept under the rug. So even men that are open have to deal with the same issues.

[ZacWilkersonMusic]

For me, my friendships became deeper and stronger when I decided to be the friend I always needed. Show your friends you are safe to be vulnerable around and you will find the same from them. Many men just need the permission to be vulnerable. Give it and watch your relationships grow.

[LucasSSP]

To find love, and to find a friend. The hardest journeys.

[danielsteele]

I’m 35 and the only social interactions I have are when I’m at work, the rest of the time and my days off are spent in isolation.

[WiningSwag]

Thank you for addressing men’s mental health, we tend to address our issues with each other with humor because it is safe. If we became more vulnerable with each other our society would be more empathetic, however the reality is being vulnerable comes with the chance that someone that lacks empathy will use it against you and sometimes take advantage of you, that’s why we constantly have to maintain a facade because the moment you lose control you lose what makes you a man in the first place and lose faith in the people that rely or look up to you, strength is what defines us and being vulnerable is a sign of weakness unfortunately

[reasesoffice]

This is why I'm a big proponent of checking in on the bro's. You don't gotta hug and cry it out, but a general "hey man, you ok? you been doing good?" every so often helps.

[thelasttellurian]

Had this kind of connection with a friend for over 20 years, but he decided to cut me out of his life. That was 5 years ago, still not over it. I will never find someone who can replace a childhood friend.

[ToneCrome]

"I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve...does anyone"?...Gordon Lachance, Stand By Me.

[Dodgerific]

This is why i feel incredibly blessed that i have friends and family i can talk to, not everyone has that.

[elihan]

Defending an illusion they were never asked to be a part of...

That line hit home. Thanks for that.

Maybe one of the honorable things a man can do is reject that illusion and let the full range of who you are shine. Every man is afraid to do that out of fear of judgement, but rejecting the illusion also means rejecting the system that created and sustained this illusion. You are now unbound by this destructive morality, and so it's attacks on you for deviating has no punch.

Your inner self may feel pain at first but once it's over, you realize your inner self is alot atronger than you thought.

[_MC]

Makes me so grateful to being able to claim a true best friend for life. Thanks, mate.

[Timotat]

I meet many male friends online on Discord and within my own community who are clearly struggling, yet unable to talk about it. Most of the time, we hop on a game and forget about it. I think when it comes down to it, being vulnerable online is just as hard as in person. I had to learn the hard way that if I don't show people my most vulnerable moments, I'm just a good liar. I don't want to be a liar to the people I care about. Opening up takes a lot of courage... And practice.

[starpiet]

The worst part is when you finally open up to a friend and they tell you how you should feel, according to what they think, instead of holding space and allowing the way you feel exactly how it is. So, better just keep quiet

[JustAnotherGamerUS]

i used this notecard bit during a conversation with my dad. it resulted in the most vulnerable, honest, raw emotional experience we've ever had. we cried so much, i felt like a boy talking to his daddy rather than a man talking to his father. we moved closer together as father and son, and i even moved closer with my stepmom. thank you school of life ❤️