Interview with Shannon Harris

Shannon Harris and Joshua Harris defined purity culture for decades. Then they divorced and left it all behind. This is HER story.

Joshua Harris published the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye, becoming an evangelical bestseller. In her new book, The Women They Wanted: Shattering the Illusion of the Good Christian Wife, Shannon Harris (Shannon Bonne) breaks down a lot of the illusions people had about their perfect Christian lives and the expectations that were put upon her as a woman in their church, marriage, and evangelical culture. Today, Dr JD Lyonhart and Seth Hart interview h on her book, her new life, and what's next.

@broadleafbooks2614 #christian #church #exvangelical #god #evangelical #purityculture #fyp @shannonbonne7779 @totalsovereigngraceministries @CovenantLifeChurch

[tosin]

One of the more shocking things about this culture - having grown up in it - is how important other (enabling) women are in the culture. Women can be the most ardent defenders of this brand of patriarchy

[WoodlandWanderland]

Thank you for sharing this. I was raised in this church and always felt like I had left a cult. It really left me struggling until I realized that Jesus really loves women and Christianity is around Him

[coolbrit]

I wish she knew the whole of the gospel. I listen to her book over the weekend. It was so sad. She had positive people in her life to help her, but the cult leaders voice was way louder. i say cult, but cause this ministry had little to do with Christ, from her point, and more to do with a brand. Please note that there are way more churches and leaders who die to themselves daily for the cause of Christ.

[RoseofSeattle]

Great podcast. My heart breaks for shannon 😢 glad she escaped a bad situation

[isosoriharrison]

I’ll be real honest with you guys, I know exactly what she’s talking about because I was driven out of a church because I was asking questions as a pastor and training. And I realize that the SBC is one of the most corrupted denominations out there and I moved to a church that actually practices what they preach.

With women being a topic, I think the problem is that churches try to follow the Bible legalistically. Not allowing women to lead and not allowing women to minister to others. I think that this is unbiblical and so many ways.

There’s examples of women doing this and there’s also examples of women being evangelists. This doesn’t mean that women are elders or pastors because they’re not in a position of authority, but under the authority of God, they are expressing the gospel and teaching it to people. I think it’s just the church you go to, and if the church is making you feel uncomfortable and it’s making you feel like this is not what the Bible teaches you need to get out of that church as quickly as you can. That is something I’ve learned, that your personal relationship with Jesus as your own and you’re going to disagree with things that your church does all the time.

I’m just someone that’s not afraid to challenge a leader when I need to and I’m also not afraid to end relationships with leaders if they’re toxic. This is why I don’t blindly follow my pastors because they’re not the people you wanna follow it’s all about Jesus and all about your relationship with Him.

And the person that mentored Josh, it’s his fault entirely for not teaching the two of you the ways of the Bible. That dating book is completely legalistic and there’s other scripture in the Bible that explains how we form relationships with everyone. And letting God direct people to whom that person is that you marry. Romans, 12 warn us not to try to understand people with their own logic, but to love on people and to be involved with people. This is how you form relationships from a biblical point of view and when we go into romantic relationships, it’s gonna require that you get to know someone and there’s different ways that societies do that. Our society does it through dating and other societies do it through cording. Doesn’t mean anything is wrong, but I don’t think you should marry someone that you don’t know. Back then parents would choose the husbands and wives for their kids, but they would know these arrange marriages and know the families very well. So that’s why this sort of thing worked back then, we do not have that same type of thing in the Bible even shows how to properly have a relationship among men and women in the book of Ruth. The songs of songs is a book that shows what genuine attraction looks like and you can tell that these two people know each other really well and that’s how you know when you have a genuine love for someone.

Just my thoughts on this whole thing, I will really hope that you get to know Jesus, the way that I have because I do come from an atheistic background. do not let anyone walk over me because that’s the kind of person I am and I’m not afraid to share my opinion. I don’t care if people disagree with it or not.

[sarahuber]

Such thoughtful and insightful words from Shannan. I have a much deeper understanding of what she went through. She’s a great speaker.

[kylaarmstrong-benjamin]

Great interview!
I admire her strength and bravery!
I also personally relate to her experience!

[KerrieScates]

Unfortunately shannon never got to know Jesus bc of the hypocritical environment she found herself in as a young lady. It is heartbreaking. This movement was never about Jesus. It was about people controlling other peoples lives. I would love to speak with Shannon about another way. Especially who Jesus is. He is not oppressive to women or any of His people.

[jessejules]

There's a lot of truth in what Shannon is saying about the suppression of women's expression of emotion and sexuality. But, it's not just in the church, it's in society in general.
What she says brings back memories of what I went through as part of my religious experience.
I have healed a lot and looked for answers where seeming contradictions in faith lie. The Truth is there if one keeps searching. Most of my questions have been answered. I listen to my body and my emotions and will set boundaries to ensure that my needs are met. I have overcome so many obstacles and limitations and understand that happiness is not the goal for me, but following God's divine plan plan for my life and doing the right thing in the hope that happiness will follow.

[sprint]

Josh Harris failed at his own formula. He was trying to reinvent romance and put untested preemptive measures in place and completely missed the need for filtration. His approach didn’t encourage vulnerability and didn’t accommodate the need for romantic connection and that’s how he got into a marriage that was doomed for failure. I’ve never read I Kissed Dating Goodbye and I don’t care. From what I’m gathering, Josh never had genuine biblical inspiration for his book; it was more of a dissertative approach that led to impractical results.

[KerrieScates]

Speaking to the last of your you tube-Jesus is the great Physician

[TheSienna]

I love how neither host speaks over Shannon. Very classy.

[korrokthefamished]

I wish people would take a step back and look at how the world has changed in the last 20 years. As the deconstruction movement continues to gain traction, have we seen less violence? Less hate? More acceptance? Or have we seen more division, destruction, depression? If people could only take a look outside their own narcissistic self they’d see a world that is obviously on the brink of destruction.

[humbleme]

Cant deny the abuse she received with SGM, church hurt is the worst, sorry people did not defend her. Also though she has now shifted from the abuse to unbiblical positions. If she is not a Christian she is welcome to have any position however if claiming to be Christian in any sense then this is problematic.

[jerandlaur]

Great book. There is so much abuse in the church, be it evangelical or mainline, and that she survived and has the strength and courage to speak out says so much.

[DJPeezy]

Is she still a “believer” at any capacity anymore ?

[nizbit]

Trump is strong with these "pure" women.

[EYTSIRHC]

His wife said she was accidentally Saved and wrote some nonsense about Eve in her book and whined all bitter and resentful like someone put a gun to her head and forced her to marry Josh and attend that church and not do her music plus she was selfish wearing a ring from her ex and sharing her music with another man instead of her husband and staying in bed instead of taking care of her children and it was a big red flag Josh would send someone else to talk to her about that ring and then she went drinking and partying with lesbians and similar to Eve, led her and Josh into sin and tore their family asunder and selfishly embarrassed their children airing their dirty laundry.

[JoelSuggsPGA]

I love "this culture". We have enjoyed 30 years of fun, Godly, pure marriage...by His Grace and forgiveness. I feel very sad for Shannon.

[CM-syto]

So many believing pure Christian girls were disappointed when Josh married this woman who was not a virgin. It was supposed to be a redemption story, but as usual, she took him down. Unequally yoked doesn't work.