3 Gift-Giving Tips from Social Psychology

Sources:

[OzrmEg]

I asked a child; what she would like for her birthday. She said a personalised candle with her name. I did that; wrapped it and gave it to her on her birthday. The disappointment in her eyes and her comment "is that all" tells me psychology doesn't work 😂

[bumblehoney]

I hate being asked what I want for Christmas, mostly due to repeated disappointment. I care more about the thought and effort than the damn thing itself, and appreciate hand written cards and wrapping the object itself more than whatever the object is.

[uttonio]

This whole gift-giving and gift-receiving is an art. I would love to share three things I learn throughout the journey of being a young adult:
1. Ask people what they want and give them that thing. Don't ever give others things that you think they like. I remember receiving a Mountain Spring washing powder from the U.S. from a friend and I was so so happy because that was my favorite smell. Even though the gift was of small value, it was exactly what I like.

2. Don't reciprocate right away after you receive the gift. When you reciprocate right away, gift-givers would think: "I enjoy the feeling of making this person happy. Why does this person have to do this?" and it shows that you are, psychologically, scared of making them dissatisfied. You should take your time, after a few months or weeks, you can reciprocate. Give them something on their birthday or pay for their coffee at a later time.

3. People regard the act of helping you or giving you gifts as a way to pay it forward. They have had support from other people throughout their life and they just want to pay it forward (do sth good for society). The fact that they help you is not something bizarre. You should appreciate it but you don't go so far as to reciprocate as soon as possible.

[alicelindborg]

Gifts of favorite food that the recipient wouldn’t usually buy for themselves are my choice. It’s recipient focused and doesn’t clutter up their house! Win win!

[Two_lights]

I also think people need to be humble when giving gifts. If you are rich you don't have to get people a new iPhone or an iPad or an expensive watch because it may make people feel bad about the gifts that they will give in return. I think expensive gifts are only from those who are really close to a person, so they don't expect things in return.

[goodintentions]

If you give a gift and have the strings attached saying you can only do such and such with it, is it really a gift? I think not. Once a gift is given, and received, the giver no longer owns any of it.

[ktpuss]

I always used to enjoy choosing just the right gift at Xmas for family/close friends but it seems to be much more about money these days and has got so complicated with certain family that I’d rather not participate or receive anything, but I don’t know how to get the message across without seeming offhand, but am not comfortable being given money in a card twice a year 😕

[tdioxin]

I asked for one thing, specifically down to the model number, and I was given a similar but inferior thing, and the reason was and I quote “what you wanted was too expensive so I got you this cheaper one, but it’s just as good.”

[ryansubera]

I ask my wife what she wants. Then I get her 2 things. Something she asked for and something sentimental I think she’ll like.

[denisemiller]

Really? How about talking about how the gift giver feels when the recipient never uses any of the gifts they’ve been given? Especially when the recipient never says what they want, doesn’t have any hobbies or interest. I’ve had 30 years of experiencing this. I can tell you that it causes a smouldering resentment that grows and grows until it makes the giver pissed off every time they lay eyes on the unused gift.

[ffofy]

What about the selfishness of gift giving? If someone gives a gift and the receiver hasn't given or doesn't give a gift in return, does the giver not feel slighted? Does this make them selfish or selfless? Who is gift giving really about? Is it about making the giver feel good or making the receiver feel good? My experiences tell me one thing, but I'm curious as to what you may think.

[melissafigueiraferreira]

The thing about explicitly saying what you want in order to not be disappointed, is that you never get the surprise factor. I hate not getting something I like but I also hate people never surprising me with their gifts. What's the point of a gift if you always expect what to receive?..

[Two_lights]

I do understand the idea of regifting, and I also understand that some people may get offended if we give their gifts to someone else. I think communication and showing gratitude is important. I live in the middle east and a lot of girls like to wear colored contacts and I don't like to wear a lot of makeup or contact lenses. I got an expensive colored contact that gave a cat-eye look. I gave it to my cousin and she was so happy with it. I told my friend who gave me the gift "you know that contact lenses are so nice my cousin really loved it, she was so happy to wear it and it looked great on her, thank you! I really appreciate your gift and I would have worn it if I did like to wear them, I'm sorry that I don't but my cousin was so happy so thank you for that" and by that my friend didn't feel bad for me regifting her gift or for getting me something that I didn't want.

[itsawetrain]

I asked for a massage for my birthday. I was given a gucci wallet. Im not even going to pretend to be grateful bc its not even a gift for ME. Its a gift that the "giver" wanted. I have never talked about gucci, have never worn "name brand" clothing, and im just generally not interested in "luxury" items. I could have used the $250-$400 for bills or saving. OR gotten a wallet thats actually cute...thats the salt in the wound, the wallet isnt even cute and its logo mania which i dont like 😭. Not one question was asked, not one observatory thought of "have we ever talked about luxury brands? Does she want something from a luxury brand? Does she even need a new wallet? Does it fit her style?" was had. Its just so disappointing bc it shows that the giver doesnt know me at all and this keeps on happening! But if i bring it up the blame will be put on me bc i should just be grateful that i was given a thoughtless gift 😒. i would perfer no gift at all then something im not going to use! I dont want "investment" accessories that i have to wait a few years in hopes i can sell it for $100 more, i want good quality accessories that i'll actually use now

[michelleburkholder]

I don't want more useless crap. I want community, doing fun stuff, making a connection with people.

[Crucio_Occidere]

Told my mother I only wanted a deepdish pizza for my birthday and mfs end up giving me 20$ and a flavor of cake I don't even like. I never asked for either of these things. Complete narcissist

[allachamine]

I asked him, and he said, "You should not ask. It's better to surprise me, BRUH

[yizhenchan]

Hi, just wanted to ask if such findings are replicated within the Asian region? Does culture affect how people give gifts, if so how? Thanks!

[joshemmason]

Never re-gift what you have been given😕😕😕🙆
Arghhhh

[glynnispitcher]

( REHAB TIME! ) WEN IT COMBS TO GIFTS PPL LOVE TO SAY IT IS THE THOUGHT THA COUNTS. NEVA HAS A MOOR ACCURATE THING BEEN SAID ABOUT GIFTS BUT PPL LOVE TO SAY THIS WEN THEY DIDNT GET THE REIGHT GIFT SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE THEY REALLY PUT THE THOUGHT INTO IT. FACTS OVA FEELINGS!