A Vampire Tumblr Post

#foryou #shorts #memes #vincey #viralshorts #funnymemes #catmemes #introvertmemes #tumblr #fyp

[goddessdeedeebubblesofimag]

"Hey, I noticed you stopped eating garlic. You ok?"

"Yeah no I'm fine I think I developed garlic allergies"

[cevawos]

"Bro you havn't tuched any of the garlic bread! It's your favorite isn't it?"
"Yeah but last time I ate it I got the worst stomach ach of my life, I think I'm allergic"

[Banaanaphone]

"i think I'm dying. Web MD says I'll live forever"
"Jesus Christ"
*Burns*

[SomedudeonYouTubeB]

I've pretty much replaced day and night a long time ago. I'm still not a vampire, just a really pale guy with easily burnable skin who doesn't really like people so going outside at 2am is an ideal activity
Even my neighbours know this, and they're pretty chill about it; a creepy figure stalking in the night? Nah, that's just Alex having an evening stroll. He does that sometimes

[jessicarusch]

“Once Bitten” it’s a Jim Carry movie & that’s literally how it goes. He tries really hard to dismiss it 😂

[westdoesthings]

I never enter anyone's house without them inviting me even if they've told me i can, my friends and i have started saying that I'm a vampire but instead of blood cravings i just have anxiety

[Etx-z]

House M.D:

Have you considered that it might be Lupus?

[unnamedvisitor]

"Dude you have been counting the rice on the floor for 12 minutes, just sweep it up!"

"Look, just let me do this, I'm super invested in it now."

[dshe]

My mirrors all stopped working and I've gone right off garlic bread.

[Crumbl.]

“Guys can mirrors just…break?”
-this dude, probably

[ChildrenCollectingCats]

Reminds me of some fic where the main character was half fae and didn't know it, he was super sheltered bc he was "nearly stolen at the hospital" (he was successfully switched out with the real child) and was moved out to the countryside and made a friend who was trying to teach them to cook but everyone there kept silver spoons (I think? Smt like that) and while he tried to grab it a couple seconds later he got burned, there was some waiting bc he's only half fae and it was really funny but kinda sad

(Its some of the chapters from "Midnight's Headcanons for Fae Magic + Oneshots" by "Midnight_Phantom" on Ao3)

[minusSoahc]

“I think I might me schizophrenic or something, i swear my face never shows up in the mirror”

[KnightandDay]

"Dude why can't I see you in mirrors"

"Yeah I really blend into the background you know?"

[EPadraigM]

the amount of those symptoms i fall under is slightly frightening

[khristopherkomodoensis]

The religious parents and relatives like "Why have you stopped coming to church?"

[ZenTheHuman]

This basically happens in What We Do in the Shadows

[sketch-eee]

Imagine if said unknowingly infected person just placebo'd himself into healing his vampirism and became a human again, leading to a vampire society chasing him down to study on how did he go on living this long as a vampire without knowing it and how did he cure himself from it.

[randomjoe]

This is the plot of the movie My Best Friend is a Vampire. Dude gets bitten and keeps shrugging off the symptoms for various reasons.

[bluesswordpnj]

"I searched my symptoms online and it says I might have cancer"

[SethUnwell]

"Dude! Your canines look sick! did you get something done at the dentist's office?"

"Right? They look awesome Right now, no I think I just ate something hard and it chipped like this? I don't want to fix it tho."