Funny Vampire Tumblr Post

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[genericuser]

picturing a dribbly chinned vampire staring at their latest victim like "okay, wow didn't know you'd care that much"

[derpiedoxie]

Plot twist this is one of the vampires victims complaining about how the vampire is drinking their blood and he’s just standing there like “dude… how are you not screaming”

[loppie_]

Honestly this reads like an old vampire who’s tired of the undisciplined vampire ‘teens’ who do shit like this and I’m here for it

[AbnormallyOnline]

The reminds me of the “If you’re going to insult me, do it correctly.” line from Monsters Inc.

[wtr]

"I'm a creature of the night, look what sustains me"

No, you're an overgrown mosquito

[jenh]

If you’re killing me to drink my blood the least you can do is not waste it by dribbling it all down your chin. Otherwise me and my blood are out of there 😂

[FungalExtract]

Imagine roasting the everloving shit out of a vamp as he just snacked on your friend just because youre grossed out

[taylor....]

RIGHT!? They've only had centuries to perfect drinking blood, but no it's all over their fancy rich people clothes

[Kreschavier]

This guy is the patriarch of some great and noble vampire house, and this is his reaction to the vampire equivalent of edgy teens.

[DerpDevilDD]

This has been my first thought ever since I was a small child. The vampire bites them for eight seconds, like it's a rodeo, spills 90% of it down their shirt, then drops the still full of blood body. Ugh.

[skye]

I can excuse it if they're newly turned.
They might not be used to having their long fangs yet...or the comedic one of it's actually their own blood from accidentally piercing their own mouth.

[DegeneracySupreme]

Yeesh, roll 3d4 for emotional damage alone on top of vicious mockery

[jakevex]

I remember reading a book or story where the master vampire beat the shit out of their fledgling because they did this and they said you're wasting your food

[roxyhill]

This.... this is a secret vampire talking

[panda.cookie]

Every time i see a picture/fanart/drawing of a vampire with blood spilling down their chins i cant help but picture a toddler trying to eat a mango, its the same thing

[TheTinySunApollo]

I imagine this was just made by a really old vampire.

[DeadlyNightshadeZ]

If I get bit by a vampire and they don't drain me into a shriveled up husk like I'm a juicebox, I am going to be one VERY upset ghost.

[CaTastrophy]

The reason vampires drink from multiple people per night is because they waste so much like that. Normally, one person's blood could satiate two vampires, but with the amount they let dribble off or spurt out when they let go, of course they're still hungry.

[makenzierose]

I’m imagining a really old vampire lecturing a newer vampire and calling them a toddler. The idea of this is very funny to me

[BeanBon_X]

There it is. The final boss. The vampire mother