Hoarding Disorder in Family Members

Gail Steketee, PhD, LICSW, talks about how hoarding disorder can affect family members.

[ChaiLatte]

Why do we not consider hoarding or the person who is hoarding, abusive behavior or an abuser. It's wrong to make a partner or children live in that.

[ngpb]

I just lost my mind already, I took all the garbage at the door and told my wife it is that shit or my daughter and I are moving out today. She is currently throwing it out. I have depression and anxiety, and leaving like this has made my condition so much intolerable that I had enough. It got to the point I can not walk without tumbling into something and dropping staff because everything is in boxes pile up, I cannot have friends over because this place is embarrassing. It is so depressing living like this that I never feel like doing anything anymore. it makes me feel like I just want to get angry and throw everything out the window and have a completely empty house that I can stretch my arms.

[dontran]

I wish I can help my father, who suffers from hoarding disorder. He doesn't know he has a problem.

He easily get emotional and easy lashing out at me and my mom if we express our concerns.

[helenmihajlovic]

Thank you. I never could explain my life to my friends.

[christopherboydandmartinsc]

I hate being stuck with my grandpa. I have no choice but to live with him, as I’m currently trying hard to get my life together. He is seriously lost since my grandmother passed away a few years back. He needs serous help. We’re having serious problems.

[mikemiller]

My mother had many of the behaviors of a horder. The wood pile kept for years ..with No project or sale EVER in mind. The wood was salt treated and has Very Few uses because of this. Why are we keeping this pile? I remember my Mother coming in the house one evening saying Your father slapped me, over a dissagreement regarding the wood. I feel the two were headed for a divorce but the Lung Cancer took my dad first. The wood pile was taking away sometime after my Dad;s death

[englishcakewalk]

Me too... I'm a compulsive hoarder! However, I have no complaint!!

[freden]

I understand the rationale behind telling the family member not to clean up, but what about safety and health issues? My husband has hoarded our basement to the point where it is an extreme fire hazard, as well as a health hazard, due to rodents, insects and all manner of toxic, flammable chemicals. Our marriage has been destroyed already. Now I just pray that we don’t literally go up in flames. I think that family members don’t get nearly the consideration we deserve with this issue. Yes, the hoarder is ill, but they also take others down with them.

[Chilcutte]

My Friends In laws are pet hoarders/ outside hoarders with a hoarder in a room (aunt)

We have a ex wife neglectful Pet owner so shes just destroyed their home and moved into a new one shes starting to make nasty.

My friend is a bit of a hoarder... he keeps bringing Bags and such in from work and stashing them in places like spare room, bathroom cabnet.

Mom is a hoarder living with a hoarder they both bring shit in and throw each others shit away.

So yeah gross.

Now I'm a craft hoarder
I'm kind of a tidy one neatly packed and labeled totes of stuff just not enough space... so it gets cluttered
I'm purging like everything I own
And planning to go to Alaska or just leave.

Difference between me and others is I dont care at all for stuff.

[christianrubert]

My elderly parent says its me thats grime he takes me outside to eat. Ive watched hoarders they get the patient involved in cleaning. My relationship with dad is destroyed. He says it has to be done
He has threated to call the cops to violently evict me if i throw things thing. He was forceful. Impatient. Guns ablazing approach. Hes a big guy. Im tired of your grime. Your hoarding. My side of the story. He threw out good nutri grain bars, elderberry, tea, clothes. He told the cleaning lady put the clothes in a bag but i kept a pile of clothes in a white bag. All gone. Dr our argument is silly i thought the only cleaning that needed to be done was mop stains
Throw out trash. Dr help me what do i my dad is using a rapid response technique. He has said before hit the roadjack, hes goin nuts, and when i ask him about my missing clothes a perfect calm reasonable request he freezes up looks at me deer in the highway look from my way or the highway to this. Dr plz help. Im depressed missing my mom. Dad is gaslighting me. Shes dead, move on, stop living in the past, be a man. Im in a toxic abusive relationship. Oh and he says my ocd is getting in the way of us doing things the other day gloating he pulled a fast 1 on me. Today was his intervention.our relationship severed. I unfriended him on fb. Help me. Plz. My dad is very authoritarian. Explosive temper. Im 31 still live with dad. How do you difereniate between possessions you treasure and packrat? My mom once raised me i dont want thar batman toy in the house!!!! She flew into a rage and threw it into the street. Im a methodical incrementalist. Im not against all cleaning but in hoarding do you throw all the posessions out. Are my parents going to emotional extremes here? Stressed 31 yr old young adult. My tough love Parents left me depressed often, i was labeled cold by my emotionally needy mother needed love, gifts. My dad had to possess my mom she came from a broken home. I was a crier a sensitive kid. I have no strong social bonds. Live far from biological family. Housing expensive.

[Tiffany-ybjy]

My mother has HD but she doesnt even realize it which is ridiculous. She even blames it on me and the rest of my family but she doesnt even look to herself. I literally cleaned up a whole table that had my stuff on it bc she said she was gonna get rid of the table. 4 years later the table is still there and its filled with her clutter. Its so fustrating.

[gaywizard]

My mom is not a hoarder like on TV but kept a lot of stupid stuff! After her stroke we downsized her to an apartment. It was like getting a 4 year old to help pack an organize, she resented everything, it was a nightmare of me yelling a lot, and now 6 months later were not on the best footing. I think she just wants revenge in petty and big ways from calling names to witholding money from the sale of the house. Im hoping the next move is underground.