How to Tell Hoarding Disorder from Messiness

Hi, my name is Jen Baker and I am a clinical social worker and a mental health therapist for CHI Health Psychiatric Associates.

What is hoarding disorder?
Hoarding is characterized by two main traits. The first is a tendency to acquire and keep an excessive number of belongings that appear to have limited value or are useless to the average observer. However, to the person who is collecting those items, they actually matter very much. The second characteristic of hoarding disorder is that the objects that are collected tend to fill the home in such a way that the person collecting items can no longer use the space for the way it was intended; so you can no longer sleep in your bed, use your bathroom to get ready in the morning (or take a shower), or cook meals in your kitchen.

How does hoarding differ from being messy?

So there are a few different key aspects to how hoarding and messiness are different. With hoarding disorder, the person usually intentionally acquires things, they have a strong attachment to those items, and they care very much about what happens to those items.

Why do people save items?

People save for the same three reasons, whether they have hoarding disorder or not.

The first is that we all save because things are very useful; they have an instrumental value.

The second reason that we save is sentimental value.

And the third reason we save is for intrinsic value.

People with hoarding disorder will actually save for those very same reasons, however they have different thoughts and beliefs around those objects. So if I throw out something that has sentimental value, and I have hoarding disorder, I may fear that I'm losing that memory or that connection to that experience or that person. If I throw out something that I'm sparks joy, I fear I might never get it back.

What are some warning signs that things may be getting out of control?

So the first thing we want to think about is health and safety. When too much clutter fills a home, it can create a fire hazard, both because of the inability to get out of a window or door when there is a fire, and also because of the high flammability content. Things start to become stored near fire sources or heat sources, radiators get blocked, things like that. There's also concern about tripping and falling. Especially papers, which is one of the most commonly hoarded things, can be very slippery and create a risk for the occupants. When a home starts to fill with clutter, it also becomes really difficult to clean around that stuff so we also become a little bit more vulnerable to the accumulation of squalor or filth or the attraction of pests, that kind of thing.

The second warning sign that things are getting out of control is that it’s starting to cause some type of distress in your life. Either it's causing conflicts with your family members or your friends or it becomes really difficult to get things done; just daily routine things like getting ready for work or getting your laundry done or taking care of your family, and it can contribute to isolation and withdrawal from people that were important to you.

What should you do if you think you may have a problem with hoarding?

If you think that you have a problem with hoarding the very first thing you should do is get more information. There are a lot of great resources that are available to really help you differentiate if it is truly a problem with hoarding or if it's something else that is masquerading (such as a severe depression or obsessive compulsive disorder).

The second thing that I would recommend if you think you have hoarding disorder is to reach out to your support system. Find somebody that you trust and have a conversation with them. Let them know that you're having difficulty, invite them in the home and show them around; maybe try a little bit of intentional discarding and see if it creates any anxiety for you.

Is there treatment for hoarding disorder?

It's important to know that there is treatment for hoarding disorder. Therapy helps, there are self-help groups and there are some really great books out there that can that can be of assistance.
What should families do if they’re concerned that a loved one may have hoarding disorder?
When families have concerns about loved ones the very first thing that we want to do is roll up our sleeves and go and clean out the home and that is probably the very last thing that we should do. Remember that hoarding disorder is an anxiety-based disorder and so when somebody comes into the home and starts removing our belongings, the person with hoarding disorder is going to respond with a lot of anxiety and distress and even anger. So the best thing to do is to protect your relationship with that person. Express your concerns openly and honestly, and focus your attention on their well-being instead of on the clutter or the stuff around them.

[Laffingrl]

Thank you for explaining this in a non-judgemental and logical way. A huge issue is one of family abandonment. The stuff is the connection.

[dodieodie]

I've known some hoarders and have also been one. I thought I'd write a few thoughts and experiences here in case someone might be interested. According to what I've experienced, these are some possible reasons people hoard:
They think there may be a time when they can't acquire or replace items. So they feel they need more than one of an item. This can be fairly short term, like keeping all old clothes in case you need something to paint in or for doing yard work. Or buying a shirt you like in every color because you might not be able to find that shirt again in the store. I knew a lady with over 400 pairs of shoes, generally because she would buy her size in every color of a particular comfortable style. She did likewise with her clothes. With hoarders, that mindset will apply to other items too. Or it can be more like prepping for Armageddon. Though many preppers are organized with their stockpiles.
They are subconsciously isolating (and insulating) themselves from society or visitors. It's a built in excuse not to let people into their lives if no one can get through the barriers (or the front door). They become like bears in their caves.
It can be a ready excuse not to keep up with home maintenance. A sort of self defeating behavior that people engage in. Once things get out of hand, it can be overwhelming to think about them and natural to put them off. The hoard often prevents someone from seeing other issues. Many hoarders are natural procrastinators.
They are saddened by the idea of "waste". They can point to the items and name a potential use for each one. They can't see discarding something that might be useful. That idea can be applied to things like stuffed animals, old couch cushions, or pieces of foil.
They can feel wealthy when considering their hoard. Instead of investing in a bank, they invest in things. It is more comforting as a "tangible" asset. And there are those who think that money is worth more now than it will be later, so buy your goods now to get more goods. Because tomorrow...inflation and who knows?
They are saving things for others. Knowing their children might like to have grandma's letters, documents, or furniture. Their kids might want baby items when they have children. Or a teacher might save craft supplies, old handouts that might be reused, or old t-shirts that the class might want to tie dye sometime. There are people who will shop bargains with the full intention of donating or gifting them to someone else. I knew a wealthy old man who kept brown bags of sale items he'd picked up in stores, just so he could give them to random people. And there are people who will buy for Christmas years in advance, then might not get around to giving the gifts because they've forgotten they bought them or where they are.
Physical illness or aging. Of course, this is unintentional hoarding. Over time, things accumulate. Plans and goals go unmet. If someone is chronically ill or just can't get around any more, it can be hard to keep up. Then as the mess gets bigger, it gets harder. Help is hard to ask for if someone had been accustomed to helping themselves, and someone can be too ashamed to seek help.
If anyone is still reading....(This is a word I'm not sure which of these would be diagnosed as being a hoarding disorder. I find it hard to distinguish when it comes to technical diagnoses. I sometimes think that some accumulators were just squirrels in a previous life. It also seems that individuals will have an experience that sends them into hoarding behavior. Or hoarding will sort of creep up on them. Anyway, if anyone is reading, these are types that I've come across.
Some very creative and organized in their thinking, in spite of the piles around them. Some guarding their stash like a Midas. Many blind to the cluttered landscape. Some sort of lost in the heap.

[m.pixley]

Another thing I've noticed is that though they care about the items they dont typically display them in a way that would indicate that they dont actually enjoy looking at them. They end up in piles, inside ugly bags, hiding under things etc.

[Apollo]

My wife is a shopping addict and a hoarder: cookbooks, spices, kitchen appliances, clothes, sewing and quilting material, and lots of other things. She bought about 100 cookbooks, but she cooks very little. I have thrown about 50 of her never-used cookbooks in the trash. She has never noticed. She filled a bedroom with sewing and quilting material and then started filling up another bedroom. I have thrown away five large trashcans of that material, and so far she never noticed.

[myartprocess]

Jen Baker delivers a message that allows the hoarder and those concerned about a hoarding situation to understand what's happening in a compassionate way. Good video.

[blairsterling]

We wonder if hoarding is a fear of going broke, which would lead to a fear of death. Often, we save things, thinking how expensive things would be to replace, or thinking if we sold the things, how much profit could we make ? Money is the issue here.... fear of not have a resource for the financial gain.

[Widdekuu]

I'm a hoarder (just stuff, not garbage or anything unclean, but I also keep cartboard or little boxes) and I got help a few years back.
In a nutshell, it was the wrong person. She basically grabbed stuff and put it in a trashbag. Mumbling things like; 'Ugh and that too!' or 'You don't need that!' or 'That is worthless!.'
As a result, I started hiding items from her and I was terrified of what she might throw away next. She'd shown disregard to everything I loved, whether it was a big empty cerealbox for crafting or my current embroidery-work that I'd _just_ laid back on the table. Everything had to go in her view. She stayed and 'helped' me for about a year. Some items broke when she threw them in the binbag, I couldn't retrieve those. The rest was rescued from the bag, of course, so we were absolutely making zero progress and she did not listen to me whatsoever.
It took me 3 years to trust someone to help me again and I kept re-checking whether she wasn't throwing stuff out without me knowing about it.
As soon as she established that I was in charge and that I was responsible for my own home and it was mý house and mý decisions...thát's when we slowly made progress.
There's still clutter, there's still purchases, there's still stuff, but my house is at the least 2/3's emptier than it was a year ago.
And now I know it's *my* decision and I'm in charge and it's about my wellbeing and not about "the house being clean"..the whole cleaning up isn't something to dread anymore.

[mariebrassart]

I think they should make a heartfelt movie where the main character has this disorder : it could be a good way to raise awareness :)

[fraziep]

Thanks for explaining the difference between hoarding and messiness. I had a problem years ago and was going to therapy after the loss of a few special people in my life. I really didn't have much time to clean up the mess because I was in survival mode at the time. I became annoyed with my therapist for even saying that I was a hoarder. My space became messy because of my lack of time and working two jobs to get ahead. She also said that my mother committed suicide because she refused to eat at the end of her life. People really need to be careful with their words and labels as therapist. I was only being transparent, she chose to label instead, and her labels were wrong.

[DollyMat]

My late brother had a problem with hoarding. We cleared the family home twice its distressing to see your own family in this type of crisis. He was also a high functioning autistic. We tried to get him help but he was very private and would not accept it from us. He thought he was independent but really he wasn't coping. He sadly died during the first wave of the pandemic.

[JessicaL]

I had a clutter problem after I divorced my abusive husband, I started drinking heavily as well, put myself in a 30 day treatment center and when I got for a day pass I came home to find a roll off parked in my driveway FULL of laundry, expensive bags, photo albums, jewelry boxes, pretty much my entire home. My mom was "sick of my junk" and hired people to come throw everything out, even though she rarely visited my home. I was so upset!!
Letters from my husband from the good days, cards from him to our children. My ex husband died a few yrs later and a wave of panic came over me. I had nothing to give our kids that was his! My mom threw everything out! I feel like this is part of the reason I have trouble getting rid of anything! I keep broken earrings, and broken jewelry, cards and papers. I have severe adhd as well. I'm too embarrassed and scared to tell anyone! My kids rooms are clean, but they're too embarrassed to have people over =( I feel ashamed

[theacademyisntt]

I wish any of my friends cared enough to help me clean up even a little. And I feel like hiring hoarding helpers would be difficult because I need someone to help me talk through getting rid of certain things, not just help throw everything away. My mom berates me daily because she just thinks I'm lazy and messy when in reality it's a handful of mental disorders that she loves to dismiss. I hope there's ever light at the end of this tunnel. To anyone also struggling with this and other things, I wish you the best and hang in there 😔

[chowfurnowmeow]

Thank you for explaining...I am a hoarder and I am trying to un-hoard and stay that way. Lucky for me I only hoard clothes/shoes but I can't stand my room, living room, my house is full of clothes.

[oldtymer]

This confirms what i suspected about my late wife. Because of our circumstances we tended to move every three years. Each move became significantly more difficult as she accumlated hand me downs from her mother. Eventually we ended up with a a 10X40 storage unit that was filled to the brim as was our two car garage, the dining room, the living room, the closets, parts of our bedrooms and the hallway. Any attempt to reduce things caused huge arguments between us. We were unoffically seperated when she passed, and all the items were either donated, tossed away or taken by her family members without my consent. When i relocated to another part of the country my apartment belongs fit easily into a 10x15 storage unit (going back this month to take that to our Son who will be getting his own place soon). All my cherished items fit nicely into my compact hatchback car. That included my dog who took up the front passenger seat. Now I live with my elderly Mother who seems to have the same issue😂.

[jasonsardie]

WOW. Very informative. Thanks very much. I have OCD and I have hoarders disorder.

[deefee]

Thank you, Jen Baker. A very interesting and comprehensive explanation which is easy to understand a very difficult mental health condition.

[stevepowsinger]

My friend's apartment is cluttered but is it "hoarded"? I ask myself. The only accessibility issue is the kitchen where the jammed up countertops, shelves and cabinets make all but simple meals impossible to prepare. Better organization would help a lot but small spaces (apartments, rooms, bathrooms) are a challenge.

[francischarlesworth]

Thank you very much for taking the time to make this very helpful and informative video.

[Diego-rvwf]

admirable vocabulary very professional. 2 thumbs up.

[crystalstorms]

This actually makes sense. Sighs, some of my family say that my husband and I are hoarders. but we are not. I feel realived to get rid of items, however, i do have some issues with feeling unsafe in a clean enviroment. it feels to open and scary. like clean is not my normal.. Chaos, i can handle that.. but clean.. feels good for a while but is terrifying