Reacting to '16 Rules for Living With Less' (and getting increasingly uncomfortable)

0:00 buckle up for a long one
0:14 Beethoven Symphony 3 Scherzo
0:19 the comprehensive minimalist guide?
1:19 Joshua Fields Milburn doesn't like "should", me neither
1:54 rule number one!
2:41 I don't love "timed" decluttering
4:28 I HAVE played this game though!
4:45 rule number two!
5:14 I treasure my physical photos
6:33 bonus rule about pictures of sentimental items
7:38 rule number three!
8:38 my husband and I built our bedframe
9:30 rule number four!
10:11 rule number five!
11:20 rule number six!
11:37 there's not a lot I could replace in less than 20 min
12:15 this rule also doesn't consider sustainability
13:09 rule number seven!
13:49 rule number eight!
14:36 PAUSE - in my haste I glossed over this perhaps
14:41 rule number nine!
15:03 the power of NO wishlists
16:20 rule number ten!
16:43 rule number eleven!
17:17 I have some hangups here
19:18 when I think of his "valuable things" those are the core substance of my life
19:48 rule number twelve!
20:31 not agreeing with conscious consumerism maybe
21:19 rule thirteen!
22:19 rule fourteen!
25:06 honestly I don't like this one at all
25:15 this doesn't feel like good energy
25:59 PAUSE again - this rule bothered me more than I admitted
26:04 rule fifteen!
27:32 gifts vs. experiences...
28:08 to covet an experience isn't more conscious
29:29 YOUR recommendations are a gift to me
29:43 rule sixteen!
32:59 a non-minimal outfit for a minimalism-related video

#nobuy #nobuyyear #minimalism #minimalist #rules #consciousconsumerism

[charmedvenuss]

I think its quite fascinating that this end of the spectrum is so focused on "experiences" that they don't account for experiencing their own home. For me, the experience of living in my own home (nicknacks, art, clutter and all) is so extremely important, all the little day to day moments take place there, and who knows when another lockdown for whatever reason might happen.

[VappuRechardt]

My rule is to separate aesthetic and functional minimalism. I’m a painter, highly visual person, and I do care about aesthetics, but minimalism is not my style. It is how I relate to extra possessions. Color and pattern do not add any ”thing” to your life to make it harder to manage. I can’t handle a lot if stuff but I can handle color and whimsical style.

[Nostalgiafairy]

The ironic part of minimalism is how unsustainable constantly "getting rid" of items can be. Like the 1 in 10 out rule. It almost feels like a curated aesthetic comes before personal responsibility. discarding 10 items at once for something new that fits better with your current wants is exactly what hyper capitalism wants. it's funny to me that decluttering started from a good place but has now been hijacked to fuel extreme consumption cycles. sometimes owning less isn't the most responsible thing when you have a lot of items, often making use of those items until they reach the end of their life cycle and being content with them not matching your new desires is the sustainable way to go. throwing 10 items away or donating them so they end up thrown away on some other part of the planet so your closet meets some minimalist standard and isn't as overwhelming feels unfair.

I come from divorced parents. one never wants to throw anything away and the other throws everything away the moment they get the chance. both are problematic ways to consume in my opinion but often the one who keeps the same kitchen plates for 2 decades and uses them weekly is much more sustainable than the one who throws out anything that's no longer "perfect" to them.

[samcshaffer]

Absolutely loving your channel right now. As someone who’s been consuming a lot of the same content you keep talking about, it’s refreshing to hear your takes. Your ideas are original, personal, and relatable. I feel like a lot of content feels like regurgitated versions of the same things. Keep up the good work

[svetlanayaroshevskaya]

My experience is that cases do turn up for just-in-case items, or for “maybe I’ll find use for it later” ones or even for “why get rid of a perfectly fine thing”. It has to be smth of decent quality or otherwise attractive for you though. Just last week I’ve opened some bags from my last move (that happened 7 years ago, mind you) and was happy to discover things I forgot existed. Or another example: it’s been 10 years since I stopped running and I truly thought irrevocably so. But this summer I suddenly took it up again, and I’m all set with my old running gear. Including a couple of pairs of fave running shoes that had since been discontinued, but I kept them (one pair virtually unused, another held up for the first 100k). Technically all of this should’ve been decluttered long ago, but it wasn’t and now I don’t have to shop for my rediscovered hobby.

[racheljames]

I am a sentimental sort... if an item has been handmade by someone I love and is beautiful I will not declutter it unless I'm giving it to someone who will really value it directly (and I sometimes rescue handmade items from op shops because I value the work that has gone into them more than most people as a crafter myself). My father digitised all of the family photos some time ago... he is happy with the electronic ones, but I asked for the albums, as if (is likely) my parents pass before me they are something I will absolutely treasure, even though I already have most of the photos electronically.

I am not a fan of the 90/90 rule - the seasons of my life tend to occur over a much longer time frame - I go for years of not drawing or crocheting and then pick it up again passionately, so it really doesn't work for me - it's better to store totes of items for certain crafts well so the items remain good and I can pull them out again in a few years time.

I understand why people gamify decluttering as it can be difficult (works with children packing toys up too to gamify things and turn cleaning up into a race etc) but unless you have LOTS of stuff you don't use and don't value I would think getting rid of 400-500 items in the course of the minimalism game is hard - there is no point getting rid of things you will almost certainly have to purchase again sometime (unless moving a long way and they'll cost lots to shift or a similar reason).

As an adult, there are items I would like that I deliberately don't buy myself to allow for people who want to purchase gifts to get things I really want - I don't think lots of people do that, and it makes Birthdays and Christmas much harder and results in gifted items being random rather than something really useful to the person (so contributes to massive oversupply of thrift stores after Christmas etc). At the moment there is a certain Johanna Basford colouring book and a few CDs on my list ready for my upcoming birthday and Christmas.

[scrappy]

I enjoyed listening to your point of view on these Minimalist "rules". While I haven't seen the e-book, I am familiar with many of them through listening to their podcast. I like the idea of minimalism, but I've come to realize that I will probably never be a minimalist. I hate waste, I love beautiful things, and I am a "just-in-case" sort. But clutter stresses me out and I am trying to find a happy medium - and they are helpful to my journey. All that said, I am glad to hear you vocalize things I've also felt, like the wastefulness inherent in the $20/20 minute rule.
As for the 30 day game, I agree with you about the possible loss of opportunity for mindfulness, but I was able to get my husband - who has had NO interest in downsizing anything (can't be bothered) - on board and we started playing it on the 1st. It helps that he is very competitive (as I suppose am I) and that we have been discussing moving back to Michigan in the next few years and don't want to take it all with us. So I am not too bothered that he isn't being overly mindful right now, just that he is finally willing to dig into bins and let things go. (Some things were easy, such as all the boxers with the blown elastic 😂)
I just borrowed a high speed photo scanner (Epson's costs over $500) from a friend because I do have a lot of photos that I either want to digitize and share with others or simply to downsize - pictures that don't mean anything to anyone but me and I don't need to look at the physical copy anymore but don't want to completely throw away. I want to save others from having to deal with these someday - my own little Swedish Death Cleaning exercise. Otherwise, especially as the honorary family genealogist, I would NEVER consider decluttering the sentimental photos, even after they are digitized. They will most likely be valued by my nieces and nephews (not having kids of my own...) and I want them to have that choice. Thanks, Alexa! And thanks for making me smile: Beethoven is my favorite.

[candylove]

Also on the subject of photos, I am scanning in all my parents photos for them at the moment, but we will not be throwing out the orginals after. They want easy access to them to send them to friends and family, particularly pictures of family who are not with us anymore. But all the physical ones will be kept because they are super meaningful.

[SimplyKatieWalks]

My 10 yr old granddaughter started playing the Viola this week. We will keep an eye out for when we can come watch you play. Alexa, I failed at minimalism. I have a few videos. I think the Swedish death cleaning taught me a lot about what i have. Yes, i have a small wardrobe, but i absolutely can not declutter just to declutter. Yesterday, i decided i needed a sitting room. So i took a table that my grandfather made, put a table cloth on it, and now its my desk. Its just a tiny space. My point is, im reusing and repurposing. Its hard not to bring new things in, but taking something out each time is just not sensible to me. Great video!🎉

[yalazha]

There’s a running theme in these rules about reducing attachment to things, which is an important concept for minimalism, to not get overly attached to things, but also attachment gets into value systems, which is very personal.

If less attachment means more flexibility for opportunity, that sounds wonderful, but it can lead to a mindset of only looking towards the future while denying things that might make your life more convenient in the moment. Speaking as a former minimalist here 😉 It’s probably the wording of this statement that gets me, as I don’t think attachment and appreciation is bad as long as it is within reasonable boundaries.

Overall, there is an emphasis on reducing physical things in these rules, which is definitely a practical guide for someone getting into decluttering. For me, minimalism is mostly valuable in that it gave me a lot of practice in deciding what to cut, and what to let into my life. The rest is my own inner work - what are my values, what do I care about working towards and spend my time on, what can I realistically handle.

[luluandmeow]

Much as I'd love to have more experiences, e.g. holidays, I'd rather buy a piece of furniture or a much wished-for item of clothing that I will enjoy for years. I've had cheap holidays (all I could afford) and they've been more stress than enjoyment. Same with eating out or even having a coffee out - I'd rather not, unless it's a special occasion with a friend - and use the money to buy something longer lasting like a pair of shoes or a reference book

[flooshoomoo]

I think basic furniture like a sofa or bed are part of the shelter need category. Maybe an accent table or upgrading your basics is a want.

[CNJL]

I’m confused by $20 20 minutes rule. If you need it why would you get rid of it? Like are you supposed to be testing yourself here? I was thinking of some of the $20 20 minute items I have and I use them. Maybe I don’t use the waterproof boot spray often but why would I get rid of that? Don’t want to buy a whole new bottle when I need it again even if it’s within $20 20 min.

[TWoodsInTheValley]

Hi There. I've been silently watching your channel for a couple of weeks now. I'm not doing a no-spend, but I have been doing a low spend for almost a year now.

I'm not a minimalist, but what I have found during my time decluttering ( 4 years and counting) is the longer I live with less stuff around, the happier I am. Walking into a store at this point gives me anxiety because I feel overwhelmed by all things that usually have a layer of dust on them. This does not mean that I live in a empty box. I've just been getting stuff out of my life that no longer serves me.

I don't take the 'rules' for minimalism literally. I use them as guidelines because every household is different. I think of it much like budgeting. I have pets; their needs are reflected in my budget. A non-pet household does not need to account for pet food, vet visits, ect... As for things like the $20.00 rule, this is another one of those 'rules' people take way too seriously.

If I donate my rolling pin because it has been sitting around in my kitchen unused for 3 years, then one day for whatever reason I decide to bake something, it isn't difficult to get another rolling pin. If I really needed one, there is room in my budget to buy another and I don't have to go far to get one.

The one in, ten out rule is another one of those rules that people need to stop and think about how it applies to their life. I hate clothes shopping, I don't own 10 shirts. If I get rid of one, it is because it has holes, a bleach stain or some other reason it needs to be replaced. The problem with the "one in, one out rule" is people never decrease the volume of stuff they have with this rule which is the point. The people that follow the one in, one out rule typically get rid of stuff, then go out and replace the stuff they got rid of for new stuff. It is a endless, vicious cycle of buying and getting rid of things. It also looks a bit like a excuse to perhaps hide a shopping addiction, but that is a whole other topic.

Take from these rules that apply to you and forget the rest. In the end, you'll still be making progress and learning about yourself.

[svetlanadreher]

Sometimes gift giving is the only love language you can use. I live across the world from my family and I can’t use time or touch to express my love, I rarely get to help them, so the only two I have left are gifts and language. So yes, I do use them. Claiming that one of the love language is somehow less of value than the other is extremely arrogant as the Minimalists are (especially Josh who also loves to pick on people’s words) and that’s the reason why I didn’t follow them for too long years ago. They give an ick of self-righteousness

[CNJL]

I do like the time limit on selling because people do think they have the time and energy for that when they don’t . However, I do appreciate your take on it because feeling the weight of what you buy and also realizing how little value your things have may make you think harder about buying something next time.

[jochenkraus]

At 15:00, isn't a waiting time still some kind of putting something on a wishlist? But whatever you call it, I usually that's what I usually do with my "impulse buys" which gives me time to (over-)think about it and in the best case do some tweaking and planning before actually buying. And it delay the moment when a fulfilled wish creats offspring, like Wilhelm Busch points out in a poem :-D

The lists value vs expensive, I think that shows how normalised many things in our lives are. A roof that doesn't leak? Heating that works? Access to transport? I think that's like the question whether money makes happy. In my opinion it mainly works in the opposite direction: things are more difficult if it's missing.

[fimarshall]

Just found your channel and really enjoying hearing your thoughts about these topics, it's very helpful! Thanks

[megamusicmessenger]

I think a lot of rules are good for people in the situation where their house is completely full with stuff and also people who have rooms that they can't use or also self storage places . Then people who are more on the maintenance stage

[pricklypetal]

I am neither young nor broke, but would find it unpalatable to spend what I see friends spending on beds. I like that you made yours! Living in the US, but aware that most of the world doesn’t have a bed frame. We gave away our bed (inherited from my grandma who was born around 1900), and chose to keep no beds, sleeping only on futon mattresses on the floor. The house is also hella cluttered lol, so I make no claims to having figured everything out! A kid frequently has that effect. 🥴🫠 Beds take up so much space, and I found this suited having an elderly dog and a baby—neither risked injury getting in and out. But I have done this for many years and plan to keep doing it even though my dog has died and my baby is now a kid. Love your channel! I am also the result of two cultures and can relate to your sense of exclusion and isolation. 👯‍♀️