Preferred Pronouns: A Christian Debate.

Should Christians use preferred pronouns? Is it an act of respect and charity, or is it compromising the creation narrative? How can Christians navigate relationships when people want them to use preferred pronouns? In this engaging dialogue, Sean and Biola communications professor Dr. Tim Muehlhoff discuss these questions and more. In co-writing their book End the Stalemate, Sean and Tim realized they have much in common, but also some practical and biblical differences about how and when to use (and not use) preferred pronouns. They aim to model a healthy dialogue about a contentious issue.

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[millenialfalcon]

If you affirm a lie to "get in the door", but then later admit you dont really believe that, you are a liar. Why would they listen to you after that?

[rosemarynew]

‘ My highest goal isn’t to keep a relationship, it’s to speak God’s truth’. Absolutely! 100%

[FoxRunImages]

Both Tim and Sean seem to have missed the fact that Timothy’s mother was Jewish, making Timothy an uncircumcised Jewish male. That’s why Paul circumcised Timothy, so he would not be viewed in the synagogue as non-observant of Torah.

Titus was completely Greek, and therefore not expected to be circumcised.

[millenialfalcon]

Satan is the father of lies. Why would I affirm a lie by using a condradictory preferred pronoun?

[obed-edom]

Excellent modeling of a cordial conversation on a very controversial topic in Christian circles. It's good to see friends wrestling with these issues together as brothers in Christ. Thank you for this!

[aletheiaquest]

Brother McDowell, I believe you were absolutely spot-on in this discussion. I shared the same responses you had, and was hoping you'd use the response you did regarding circumcision; it was my first thought.

I believe this channel and your example is in the "spirit" of your father, and will continue to honor him long after he's gone. His attitude toward you when you were going through your period of doubt/struggle is exemplified by you on your channel. You are taking his example of love to you and sharing that with anyone who comes on your channel.

We are also recipients of your dad's love to you, meaning his act of love and open discussion has trickled down to us. So, you can thank your dad for loving us so much.

[brucegoff]

I'm glad for the charitable dialogue. Some questions I would've loved to ask in this discussion are: Is there a limit to "all things to all people"? Would Paul have said, "to the Judaizers I become like a Judaizer"? Should we apply it in ministering to racists? "To the racists I become like a racist"? It seems to me there is a limiting principle to 1 Cor 9. Was Paul intending to create a limitless application, or was he referring specifically to the distinction between Jews and Gentiles (those with the law and those without)?

[adamr.]

This brother says we can disagree in Christian freedom on pronouns use, but he can barely fathom the idea that it might be wrong to communicate a falsehood. A falsehood, in fact, that is leading a person further and further from Christ. His hypotheticals are a stretch. I don't know how else to view this other than a capitulation hiding behind the excuse of 'charity' or 'maintaining the the relationship.'

[loganholdaway]

This is a gross misappropriation of the verse "All things to all people...". We are permitted to become all things to all people when it comes to non-ethical issues. For example, we are permitted to become poor to to poor, rich to the rich, a surfer dude to the surfer dudes, but not a drunk to the drunks. To "become" is to take on the characteristics of a particular demographic. With poor, it may be wearing drab clothes, with the rich, it may be taking on their customs of sitting up straight and speaking properly, with surfer dudes it may be saying things like "that was totally wicked" but what is there to take on with trans? Everything about their demographic is wicked. There's nothing amoral to emulate, including calling them by a preferred pronoun.

Christians need to stop worrying about being winsom for the sake of getting an ear. To worry about how our words will land on someones ear, or to try to win them like a man wins the heart of a woman is wrong. It places all the trust in ourselves rather than in God. We need to unashamedly preach the law. What the world needs is a Savior, and we're not helping them to know that when we're so worried about "maintaining the relationship" or any of these other excuses we come up with to get out of placing ourselves in uncomfortable situations for the sake of Christ.

It's never right to give any credence to Satan's lies. It's never right to call someone by their preferred pronoun.

[ChristisLord]

I am a father who has dealt with this issue with my own daughter. It hurt everyone in our family and causes breaks that we cannot fix on our own. I showed her love that is unconditional, and insisted that the God who made her knows her best. I educated her on the roots of the LGBT movement and the dangers of it. I explained that I would always love her and that I could not lie to her even to make her feel better. I prayed a lot, I cried a lot, and I submitted this to God and His wisdom. In His grace He saw us through, my daughter understands that she is a female and accepts that. Her biggest struggle was that she is unique compared to many girls and was trying to understand how to deal with that. She is in a much better place now with her sense of self and her understanding of God's design.
I don't understand the desire to comprise o and God's truth in an effort to help someone when His truth is what is needed.

[EireAbu]

Dividing Christians? The answer is an obvious "no".

[markmolocznik]

Did Jesus ever compromise to speak the truth in love? I struggle to find examples of this.

[josephbrown]

This was SO difficult to watch. Christians are really good at making simple things sound very complicated. And, in reality, truth IS simple. And in this particular case, you NEVER lie to someone so as to (worst case) affirm their sin, or (best case) their misunderstanding of reality.

[kathleencassel]

But would Paul say, “ To the sinner I become sinner”? To call black white is to speak untruth. To say male is female is to lie and violate my conscience. Still in a personal situation, I would affirm the struggle, and I would ask for the person to let me explain my difficulty in light of my allegiance to Christ and to his love for all of us. We must speak the truth lovingly. I could most definitely call that person by his preferred name, though not his preferred pronoun.

This is a real struggle for my friend who got into trouble at her high school for misgendering a student in a conversation. There was no extended discussion of Biblical sexuality. There were simply the rules! This is the bullying that we must expose.

[BHFWaterloo]

But boils down to who are we trying to please God or man

[jacksonslagle]

It's unfortunate that two people attempt a nuanced, thoughtful conversation, and most of the comments on it are dismissive, unsubstantiated one phrase answers that run against the spirit of the video they're commenting on.

[JohnPalomo]

Big shout out to you two for having this conversation. Keep these types of videos coming! Blessings!

[Longinus]

Nope! I refuse to participate in their delusional behavior!

[sophiahsiang]

Thank you for the conversation, for me it isn't about whether to use the pronouns or not, it is really about how christians sit down and discuss controversial topics like this with love and honesty, I am so glad you two are modeling it for us, this is very precious!! Thank you again!!

[bjsauerbrei]

They keep pushing things down the field because we keep giving in.