Self-help books that aren't actually sh*t

Here I chat about why I used to passionately dislike self help books, how my stance has slightly changed in the last few years, and my favourite 5 self-help books I'd recommend to read :)

To make your life easier:
0:00 Introduction
1:13 Sh*t: They are Overwritten
2:14 Sh*t: Suspicious Science
3:02 Sh*t: Dishonest
4:35 Sh*t: Toxic Positivity
5:27 Sh*t: What to think, not How to think
6:15 OK: Gives language and frameworks to feelings
8:25 Book 1: Attached
9:47 Book 2: Rip it Up
11:02 Book 3: A New Earth
12:19 Book 4: The Courage to be Disliked
14:04 Book 5: Personality Isn't Permanent

If you want to stay in touch:

Or leave a comment, I (try to) answer 100% of comments :)

[lorenzoe.leonard]

I think self-help books are useful when you want to solve a specific problem. On the other hand, if you want to know more about yourself and the world, books on philosophy, psychology (no pop psychology) and novels are definitely better.

[DaveG]

I had a wry smile on my face when you said about how these books are over-written, as I made this observation to my brother about some non-fiction books last year, after I realised I was often giving up on them about 1/3 of the way in.

Forward - Why I wrote this book
Chapter 1 - What is covered in this book
Chapter 2 - Why you should read this book
Chapter 3 - How to read this book and get the best out of it
Chapter 4 - What this book can't cover
Chapter 5 - The actual book
Chapter 6 - How to apply what we learned in chapter 5
Chapter 7 - More examples, worded slightly differently to make a new chapter
Chapter 8 - What other people have gained from what this book covers
Chapter 9 - Futures bits worth exploring.
Chapter 10 - Why you should read the examples in the last two chapters and what you can learn from them
Chapter 11 - Afterword - What I hope you got from this book, and let me know if should write another chapter...oops, sorry, book.

[augustodutra]

How to Win Friends and Influence People was one of the first self-help books I read. As an introvert, I've always found it very, very difficult to make new friends and build meaningful relationships. Looking back, I think most of the book is really useless. But back then, right after reading it, it felt like I had acquired a superpower to make friends and it made me act. I started to interact more with people, I started looking them in the eye. I felt much safer and in the end, it really worked for me. The point is, what I needed was the confidence this book gave me to try, make mistakes, learn from my mistakes, and desensitize myself to the process rather than its content.

[myself.undecidedyet]

1. Problems of bad self-help books.
- Too over written
- Suspicious Science
- Dishonest
- Toxic Positivity

2. Good Self-help books.
- Attached : Love
- Rip it up: Actions - > Feeling
- A New Earth : A sense of immediate peace. Perspective. Inner world.
- The courage to be disliked.
- Personality isn't permanent: No matter who u are, you will be changing.

[jasgarcha]

In general, self-help books are there as a 'guide' or helping hand. Too often readers will take it as gospel and hope for a miracle cure. Without self-action, the teachings are not going to bring about positive change. Take what you can, understand the theory and implement what is important to you.

[Brownseer]

“The Use and Misuse of Language” by SI Hayakawa. Changed how I view everything and led me down the rabbit hole of general semantics. The subject that has taught me HOW to think the most rather than what to think.

[RohanYesudian]

Liz's top 5 self-helf books are:

1. Attached
2. Rip it Up
3. A New Earth
4. The Courage to be Disliked
5. Personality Isn't Permanent

[SimonFogg]

You would absolutely love Brene Brown's Atlas if the Heart. Gives you a vocabulary for all of our emotions. An amazing book.

[itsomethingreat]

You nailed this video. I absolutely feel the same, specially in the Suspicious Science and Dishonest sections of the video. Nowadays people use Science the same way God was used in the Middle Ages: as a fanatic way of possessing the truth.

[elskekoopman]

I used to hate self-help books, until recently. I came across the book How to slow down in a world that is continually gathering speed, written by Yvonne Mol. It helped to get my priorities straight and to enjoy life a bit more.

[jeffrey]

The problem with self help books is that people never actually apply anything that's written in them and then wonder why they have read 20 self help books without improving on anything. speaking from experience xd

[Moonbutnosun]

1 the courage to be disliked was a book I really really needed. Thank you you mentioning it.

2. "How to speak so kids will listen and how to listen to kids will speak" is an INCREDIBLE book for all ages and all status whether you are interested in being a parent or just want to communicate better in everyday life with other adults. It was a book that really changed me and my understanding of how others need to be understood

[Gthefray]

I can’t put into words how much I enjoyed your insights in this video. This is giving me the push to finally read Personality isn’t Permanent & The Courage to be Disliked. How passionately you spoke in this really just lifted my mood 🤓

[erossutra]

A self-help book I re-read from time to time as a ritual is Atomic Habits. I think the book Deep Work is also helpful.

[ootenba]

For people who were abused in their childhood I would recommend CPTSD from surviving to thriving by Pete Walker 💛

[JordanSkinner]

I agree that a lot of self-help books are repetitive and contain unnecessary detail. For this reason I love reading the free previews of ebooks - most of the main points are outlined in the introduction and/or first chapter, and I don't have to pay for it nor make the commitment to another book I probably won't finish anyway. Love your channel by the way.

[SyashaDigler]

I love that you suggested books that are very rare from what I saw. Thank you!!

[giantarise]

You are so relatable and helpful Elizabeth!!! 😢

[shiboito]

My favorite response to Attached is Polysecure, as it expands upon it to allow space for attachment to multiple partners and, more importantly, provides a path to adjusting your own attachment style.

[jbrethous]

You absolutely rock. Your wording is perfect, and your timing is fantastic. No time to get bored. What a pleasure to listen to you. Thank you.