My parents ghosted me for 5 years after my wedding. I'm now in contact and they told me it's because

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[thesheerwoodcrow]

Yeah you don’t get to cut your kid out for a reason like that and still get to play grandparents

[oonachestnut]

I feel so bad for Op in the 2nd story. He's taking everything on himself. He yelled at her after all the abuse she was putting on him because she needed to go to rehab. I feel that he had every right to say everything he told her. She needed to hear it. He also shouldn't blame himself for her od'ing. That's all on her.

[dullicecream]

That second story was a fucking trip, I feel so bad for OP and his sons…

[queenofkings]

Story 1: They just want to see how dark the kids are.

[President_Weeb]

That story is fucking wack. I hope OP will overcome his feelings of being a monster and guilt bc he did the right things, got her to rehab, supported her when she got back, let her down easy. And yet…

[chrizztopher]

op should have reported the drug dealer friend straight to narcotic department. i mean she is a drug dealer, a menace to society, the reason his wife died is because of the same friend if he reported her before it might have not happened. If you know a drug dealer report them. Anyways im so sorry for OP ans his loss. hope him and his kids are doing just fine

[rickynieves]

It's heartbreaking that she relapsed and overdosed. Most overdoses happen during a relapse because they are dosing at an addict level but their tolerance has gone way down without them knowing. So sad for everyone, but especially those boys. They are too young to understand and don't have the life experience to forgive. They still see everything so black and white. My heart is breaking for this family. I lost my husband 3 years ago and am still dealing with the grief poorly. I can't face therapy yet, so I'm proud of this guy for doing it. I hope they all go on to heal and lead happy lives. Good luck to them

[asherikamichaela]

I'd heard the first story before, so I knew where that one was going. Glad OP and her hubby are going NC with her AH parents. They and their kiddos don't need that toxicity in their lives.

And speaking of toxic... wow, that second story is wild. Most toxic "friend" I think I've ever heard of, and I've known of some doozies. That woman literally destroyed everything in OP's ex's life, then practically took her life herself by just letting her OD on her couch and not doing a damn thing, after getting her hooked on the very drugs that killed her. This woman wrecked OP's world, and for what? She bragged about it! The misandry, the cheating, the drugs... all of it. She poisoned OP's ex, literally and figuratively. I don't use the word often, but that woman is evil.

I hope OP and his boys are able to heal and move on from this nightmare. 😔 They all deserve so much better.

[snowflakewhite]

For story 2, if your getting called horrible names or getting yelled at by your spouse (no matter the gender) and you end up yelling back (no matter the gender) that's not abuse, that's retaliation. I don't understand how the OP could think it was abusive when she was doing the exact same thing to him. Is it because he was a man and she was a woman? Even then it doesn't make much since, he was still only returning the energy she was giving him. Idk, I could just be stupid, but that's just something I wanted to point out.

[countrygirl]

The last story... OP has to realize his wife made a choice. She chose to use. She chose to cheat. She chose to continue to use until it killed her. I know addiction is a battle. I've seen it. I had an alcoholic father. He quit cold turkey. And he battled it every single day. I adore him for loving his family enough to stop. This mom simply couldn't love anything more than her fix. It was beyond her. And it's unfortunately the choice most addicts make. Op chose to love his sons enough not to use. He battled through. He smoked. Op this may sound silly but if that cigarette gives you peace... smoke it. If it keeps you from using... smoke the whole damn pack. If those cigarettes keep you sober for your sons... then the smell is worth it. Guess what?? My dad picked up smoking to replace his whiskey addiction. I preferred the smoking.

[SweetyO]

gotta love Story 1: "We treat our own child like shit, but we need to have their kids" First of all, bad parents don't get to be grandparents and second, grandchildren are not your own children, so stop acting entitled

[pawel]

I learned that you tend to say things that you secretly think when you are angry,

[theubiquitouspotato]

Threatening divorce is emotional abuse and budgeting very definitely isn't financial abuse. In fact she fits the definition of that one much than he does.

[Ew_Michelle]

Story 1: I picked up on the racism as soon as OP explained her husband isn’t white— and thought back to the explanation that her parents left the wedding early because they “felt uncomfortable.” I knew it was a race issue— so I wasn’t surprised when her father popped out a racial slur. I’m glad OP shut that down right away.

[jpk]

They usually just want to see how light the children are.

[sharpshooter]

God I love this narorator. No offence to the earlier guy but this one is just so much more personable and warm. I say this as someone that at best would still fall short of being as warm as the previous narrator.

[kerenrashish]

Oh man... That final story gave me flashbacks to when my mom passed and I felt the same way about my younger siblings. I had helped raise them because my mom was a university student ever since my youngest brother turned 1. When I would cry after the funeral and my younger siblings would comfort me, I'd feel guilty, because I was supposed to comfort them, not the other way around... It felt awful and I felt guilty, but while it's hard, I had to try to work through it. I think if I had let myself process my emotions back then more despite that guilt, I'd be less intertwined in my grief now (7 years later) than I still am... Sometimes it's hard but you still have to do it. I wish I did back then...

[Kevin-ogzx]

To those who think that second stories X just all of a sudden changed out of nowhere please for the love of God put together the actual list of his responsibilities because Opie's responsibilities include setting up all of her appointments for her and I'm assuming since she doesn't want to set up her own appointments he also sets up the appointments for the kids it's mentioned that he does both the laundry and the trash any cleans on the weekends the whole house I'm pretty sure it's mentioned at one point he also does the dishes at night and he cooks breakfast and dinner she just has to do lunch like cleaning throughout the day and hanging out like her kids are not that young they can mostly do for themselves he was already doing the Lion's Share and willing to say that she was she tricked him into a relationship into financially securing her future only to slowly change and have the same sort of change furthered and worsened by a friend she made she found a like-minded individual who won that like-minded individual was willing to go further so was she

[Levithos]

OP in story 2 needs to just accept that what happened happened. He can't change that. She made the decisions, and she gave him NO choice in the entire thing.

[Sevness]

I had to look up the term to understand it more, and it is a coin toss on if it is racial slur or not, but the origin is from Hebrew referring to Ethiopian people moving to Israil, and at first was actually a term of endearment, as in Cushite people, who are said to be descended from Moses.

But in recent years has become more of a derogatory term, and now can just mean any one of African decent, so yeah, while there is like, a small chance it wasn't meant as racial, namely so long as the family is Jewish and/or from Israel, I feel like it really does fall into being used as a racist term, more so as the people that use it in non-racist terms, have stepped using it as much.


The closest but not entirely accurate way to frame it is it was originally used the way the n-word ending with A is used among black people to mean brother or friend and such, while and the word ending in ER is used as a derogatory term even among black people.