How Do Con Artists Fool People? They Listen. | Big Think

How Do Con Artists Fool People? They Listen.
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We tend to think con artists are smooth talkers and persuasive sellers, but listening is their most essential quality, says Maria Konnikova, who has written a new book on con artistry. Here she discusses the case of Victor Lustig, a Frenchman who sold the Eiffel Tower twice for scrap metal to two different buyers. Too embarrassed at being taken in, the buyers never reported Lustig.

As Konnikova explains, Lustig literally wrote the book the con artistry. In his work 10 Commandments of the Con Artist, Lustig writes that a con artist is a good listener, not a good talker. In other words, con artists are looking for your tell — your signal about who you are, what your desires are, what you fear, etc., so that they can promise you exactly the thing you want most.

Why aren't we alive to such an obvious tactic? Simply because we're not used to truly listening to people, says Konnikova, and so we're not accustomed to recognizing such genuine interactions. In our constant pursuit of doing more, more often, we lose depth, and that self-awareness is crucial when you're up against someone who wants to fleece you.

Our pattern of inattention has a dangerous double effect: when we notice that someone is finally, truly listening to us, we become more likely to open up and bear personal details that we wouldn't otherwise disclose. And that information is exactly what con artists are hoping to extract from you — then they'll sell you the moon, or the Eiffel Tower if you're in the scrap metal business.
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MARIA KONNIKOVA:
Maria Konnikova is the author of two New York Times bestsellers: The Confidence Game , winner of the 2016 Robert P. Balles Prize in Critical Thinking, and Mastermind: How to Think Like Sherlock Holmes , an Anthony and Agatha Award finalist. Her new book, The Biggest Bluff , will be out from Penguin Press on June 23, 2020. While researching The Biggest Bluff , Konnikova became an international poker champion and the winner of over $300,000 in tournament earnings—and inadvertently turned into a professional poker player. She is a regular contributing writer for The New Yorker , and her writing has been featured in Best American Science and Nature Writing and has been translated into over twenty languages. Maria also hosts the podcast The Grift from Panoply Media, a show that explores con artists and the lives they ruin, and is currently a visiting fellow at NYU's School of Journalism. She graduated from Harvard University and received her PhD in psychology from Columbia University.
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TRANSCRIPT:
Maria Konnikova: One of the things that con artists do incredibly well is actually read other people. So psychics, psychics are kind of the ultimate at this. They can read all of the cues that you're throwing off without realizing you're throwing them off, and so they seem psychic to you even though you're telling them everything — you're giving them everything that they need to go on. And the truth is most of us don't do that. Most of us really do not listen to other people.

Victor Lustig, who is one of the most famous con artists of the 20th century, who's nickname was Count Lustig and .......

[firstlast_x]

I can't read people very well, but ever so often I'll pick up on things others are trying to hide. I wish I could do that all the time, but the mental focus it takes to engage in such behavior is exhausting.

[charlesryan]

I've had a couple of brushes with con artists. In my experience, they do indeed listen closely, but only so they can manipulate to your vices.

[confusedwhale]

So, in other words, con artists were the most caring people and eventually decided that they needed to teach those that don't a very valuable lesson in human interaction.

[drunkenrampage]

I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention. What did she say again?

[TarkusT]

Back in my university days, (yeah we rode dinosaurs to the campus... so funny), I recall performing an analysis for a professor who was researching 'gullibility' and one of the set of data we had to correlate was from a group of people who all been conned by the same guy. His MO was to create an illusion of adventure where his marks, almost always self professionals like dentists, doctors etc., were sold an idea that bordered on James Bond. There was a cache of diamonds or gold and they would land via helicopter into some place like Venezuela, (long before Chavez), and yes there might be gunfire but after obtaining the goods they would return to Canada as money Gods! What struck me, aside from the absurdity of the tale, was that these victims for the most part admitted that they knew something was wrong from the start but that lure of the excitement was just too big to resist. As such while they were embarrassed to have been conned for the most part they still harboured a certain affection for the con artist for what he had given them even if only in a lie.

That said one has to wonder if the question isn't so much 'how to do con artists fool people by listening' but rather 'how do con artists find the people that have the need to listen to them"?

[vegexperiment]

Fuck, I'm riddled with ADHD. There goes my con artist aspirations. Wait, yellow sky. Egg monsters. What was this video all about? Lemme rewind.

[mantistoboggan]

not even a minute in and i'm wondering if she's stoned.

[APoisonousTree]

Motive is key. A genuinely interested person, with no other motives, will listen well too.

[curiousalien]

I can read people very well. I'm not alone. I don't exploit anyone but it's annoying knowing people are being sneaky or dicks and you'd look like the bad guy if you called them out.

[JJ-vcpp]

They only listen in the beginning, and intermittently to size up the mark and identify vulnerabilities - after a while their ego starts talking and they give themselves away. Plenty of decent, acute and aware people are great listeners which can work for them or against them depending on the company they keep.

[alphabravo]

This is why I cringe when I hear people call donny tramp a con "artist". I'm fairly astute and very suspicious/skeptical. I'm sure a talented scammer could fool me. However, that day he rode down the gilded escalator and gave his speech about running for president, I could see right through him.
He thinks he's smarted than anyone else and will not listen. He may very well be the most prolific grifter out there, but is in no way an artist.

[Memento_Mori_Music]

Recently learned about that Lustig guy on 'Citation Needed'. Can't believe he actually succeeded.

Also: dunno if she actually tokes or not but I just love the stoned look in her eyes. Hot af! Happy 4/20! :)

[FelineRed]

Took me two viewings to digest the message since on the first one I was lost on her beauty.

[peacewillow]

while i agree that a number of "psychics" are con artists, it's not true of all.
there is another useful skill, called empathy, which allows you to know EXACTLY what another person is feeling, even if they profess to not know themselves.
reputable psychics, like other therapists, can use this knowledge to help people thru hard times or rough patches.
con artists prey on the vulnerabilities of others, especially emotional issues like grief, greed, love and self-worth.
also, just an opinion, but people should shut their phones off when visiting others in person.
if people are important to you, then time with them should be cherished, and the least you can do is be totally present and engaged.

[andrejbachtin]

This is such a wonderful video. This is very valuable and a good point.

[drtouchtoomuch]

She looks like she should be in a NyQuil commercial..

[Gold-sfkq]

That's very true when someone feels as if they're genuinely listening that's when they tell you something that they'd never thought they would ever talk about, someone told me they used to be depressed I was the first to know that

[antoniodariocuomo]

the content is well prepared and the narrative is also very good, if i can make a criticism, would be that the timing, tone and pace of the talk does not cathc up the listener, all things that can be 'easily' improved to make this speech great!

[JamConcerned]

How do you catch them at their own game be a good listener and ask questions.

[siddhanasri]

Im not sure of the speaker's name but good analysis ma'am, thank you!