Parental Alienation Syndrome Part 1: What is PAS?

Welcome to The Mental Breakdown and Psychreg Podcast! Today, Dr. Berney and Dr. Marshall begin a three-part series on Parental Alienation Syndrome and provide information on characteristics of PAS.

We hope that you will join us each week so that we can help you make your day the best it can be! See you next week.

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[altovisedavis]

What makes this so hard in some families is that other family members have covertly over a period of time participated in alienating the parent.

[kaylabehnke]

Even worse when the therapist is encouraging the alienation

[jackgoodings]

Yep, this happened to me. And it's the most painful long drawn-out death of a relationship between parent and children. And then one child starts to be mouth piece of other child, getting in the way, taking dominance over parent, telling lies to the other parent and to their sibling. It's the worst pain ever. I walk through life with a daily hole in my soul, getting on as best as I can. Sometimes still let tears out but most days walk with those tears not showing. I'm blessed to at least have two messages a year from my daughter, the reply 'thanks" when I wish her happy birthday, and "you too" when I wish her merry Christmas. Even when there's a time of what looks like reconnecting, there's no substance or foundation, no connection, it's like no familiarity or ease of being yourself and natural with them, can feel their caution and distance and lack of bond, it's so delicate and conditional, the slightest thing or if you put any boundary in place or anything at all you're not happy with, they pull away again for a very long time again. And they expect you to be a certain way for their needs, yet there was nothing wrong with how you were together earlier, were close, all was good. And yes, they're always getting away with bad words and behaviour towards you, and placing themselves in a parental position above you, being derogatory towards you, turning their friends against you, and the other parent is supportive of that; they'll keep running back to the other parent and the other parent won't enforce the relationship with you, won't expect them to behave. And so many twisted and fabricated stories. You try to parent, you try to keep in touch, they say you never did, and they'll say they're estranged from you, and you can see how everything became as bad as it got but can no longer do anything about it. It hurts like hell. You can only do it for so long. Mine were in their mid 20s when, for my own sanity, I had to make the painful decision to step away too and not put myself through it any more. It doesn't heal anything, but I can at least have stability in my life. And your heart aches for what they're going through also. These alienating parents need to go to jail for what they've done, its abuse at it's worst.

[gbaca]

There is no help for alienated parents. NM family court enables the parent. I have been dealing with this for seven years. Its a very lonely road. You feel worthless.

[marinamarley]

Criminal behaviour that nobody seems to want to do anything about - sadly

[julieb]

This can happen with adult children as well. My ex turned my 21-year-old against me when he decided to divorce me. To be honest, he started to put the wedge between us in subtle ways years before. Unfortunately, I could not see that at the time. My child and I were incredibly close. Now he treats me as if I am dead. It is criminal behavior on the part of the alienator, but unfortunately, the court does not care after the child is 18. So strange because cult leaders go to jail for essentially conducting the same type of abuse on their followers. It’s the same kind of mind control and undue influence.

[Thegoodnewsgirl]

I’ve been a victim of parental alienation for 10 years. Such abuse & cruelty is UNACCEPTABLE. What Myself & My Child/Children have endured & have been persevering through, because of such…has been extremely TRAUMATIC. For myself and also my child. My PRIMARY cares & concerns are more about the effects it’s had on My Child. Now a grown adult age 18 & it still continues. It’s so sad and unnecessary and uncalled for. My aim, my goals & my focus…has been Me TRIUMPHING over the TRAUMA. Along the way TEACHING & SHOWING My Child-Children, HOW TO.
Hopefully being able to one ☝️ day, HELP OTHERS to persevere and OVERCOME.

I’ve triumphed and I WILL CONTINUE TO. No parent nor child should EVER have to go through NOR be put through…what we have.

📰THE GOOD NEWS📰…is;

I’m going to FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT until all wrongs made RIGHT!!!

For MYSELF and ALL 💪

~Philippians 4:13 💜

P.S. to the Supreme Court …IF…need be.

[MOT]

Years after having to walk away but still researching, its become very clear that parental alienation is the behaviour of 'narcissists' when put in a position of having to share something, in these cases the nurturing and control of the development of children. They resent sharing control and will aim to destroy any links to or positives of the victim parent. They often reverse blame and become the victim. If you understand narcissism, it helps to understand parental alienation as its the same condition but in the context of shared parenting.

[SirNic]

No one ever talks about the why? What was the trigger? No ever one ever challenges the parent. Why are you doing this?

[mxxx]

As you say there is inadequate knowledge and research in this area. What you are clearly missing is the long term effects of parental alienation. Drip feeding of parental alienation sets the stage for eventual child estrangement, it eventually leads to adult child estrangement even when there has been NO abuse, neglect, bad treatment or poor pareting by the alienated parent. I know this because I have lived it. And I know others who have too. Please do some reseaech to investigate this and thereby help alienated estranged adult children, parents and grand-parents.

[gregandcarrie]

Thank you for this discussion. The symptom of splitting wasn't discussed. This is a telltale sign of alienation. It is a pernicious and SEVERE form of child psychological abuse. Also not discussed was the enmeshment seen between the AP and child. This is emotional incest. These children are in an INCREDIBLE amount of emotional and then physical pain.

[chitramarathe]

Narcissistic are patient of mental so law should not ascertain custody of child with such a parent

[Gerald]

My 9 year old daughter critises me constantly. Won't listen to me. Answers me back when I discipline her. I'm so tired of this

[barbaraahearn]

I have been studying the subject for 20 years because of the alienation that has taken place in my family. I have never heard a better description of what parent alienation is. Thank you so much!!

[oldhippie]

Try 3 decades already It's beyond hurtful, Being labeled and no proof anything hearsay through years, I pray everyone gets there closure I've Accepted it To be able move on No choice Didn't Get but 1 choice Gave my life already!!

[eyesopentotruth]

I agree there needs to be justice. I miss my daughter so much, she faded away over time and I could tell the influence over her. She couldn't keep up the split personality anymore, and kept loyalty to her Dad. Since 2009, he continually spoke ill will of me around then, and to others. The kids begin to believe it.

I had the worst time between 2011-18 where it affected my ability to completely function as an adult, keep a consistent job, just survive. I was my own worst enemy, believed i had no rights anymore, doubted my ability to be a Mother anymore, and because I struggled and never was able to pull myself from that trauma, because i was living in it by failing to get help. In my defense, there were NO RESOURCES for this 10 years ago. Especially if the other parent is a covert Narcissist.

[ChimaR-tb]

The Dr on the left knows that majority of the time the mother is the one that is usually at fault...😂

[storytellingbyprofessorwaf]

Survivor and have forgiven my ExHusband with Gods assistance. He died during Covid . God Rest his soul🙏 . My Children don’t respect me, my son can’t even say my name. The damage of Ego that Exit God Out . Prayers to Our Lady of the Cape for broken families from divorce . Intercession of Mary Magdalene, Saint Teresa of Alvia. 🙏❤️📿

[storytellingbyprofessorwaf]

Survivor and have forgiven my ExHusband with Gods assistance. He died during Covid . God Rest his soul🙏 . My Children don’t respect me, my son can’t even say my name. The damage of Ego that Exit God Out . Prayers to Our Lady of the Cape for broken families from divorce . Intercession of Mary Magdalene, Saint Teresa of Alvia. 🙏❤️📿

[raeridethewhip]

Money is the biggest problem with how the system works, and a parent will on purpose once knowing any State law that says that any care giver, can on purpose make sure too have there child stay at there home, when the other parent has a unexpected death or something wrong happened, and the other parent is being told they are helping the other parent out, and use technology as form of control over a child’s cell phone, does that count as per your conversation is about? Just curious that’s all