Monogamy - Are Humans Monogamous or Not?

There's a lot of different opinions around the notion that humans are monogamous. Join me as I dispel comforting lies, with some uncomfortable truths about monogamy in humans.

#Monogamy #Dating #Marriage

[geo]

We are not monogamous we can only stay monogamous as long as we value our partner as the best choice we can have

[depizixuri]

If monogamy were natural, laws and religions would not need to regulate it.

[lukaszwolf]

It takes discipline to be monogamous. It's also takes discipline to wake up in the morning, workout, don't eat shit, don't drink at all/ too much alcohol etc.

[stealth]

Monogamy specifically removes the qualities of a man that are attractive. She no longer has any fear that she’ll lose you to another woman, you lose your social/flirting skills, you lose parts of your social circle (no more female friends, sorry, they’ll make your girl too jealous and give you too much drama with cheating accusations), being around hot women is torture since you can only window shop so going out to bars with your single buddies so you lose some friendships, and living in a high-population is less appealing since you can’t DO anything (a house in the suburbs seems more appealing when walking around a major metropolitan downtown core is temptation in every direction). On top of it, you voluntarily become more supplicative and doting, which lowers your value relative to hers since the lower-value person dotes on the higher-value person, and start doing things that are inherently beta and unattractive (even if she rewards you for washing the dishes and doing the laundry at FIRST).

Since you have a girl who “has” to be with you, you have less incentive to stay in shape or eat healthy because you don’t have to land a mate so most men will let their bodies and grooming go because the only woman who really sees them is their wife and she “has” to put out (lol). And the entire time you have to fight your own instincts and increasing temptations trying not to fuck up despite your raising value as you enter your peak SMV years if you DO take care of yourself.

Then on top of that you have all the stuff it does to the girl, like raising her value through the roof in her mind since she’s landed you. This manifests down the road in her appreciating you less and finding you less sexually attractive, and because she doesn’t care as much about fucking you she has less incentive to try to turn you on. So she starts letting her grooming go as well, stops dressing sexy for you, gains weight, etc. because why not? And if she doesn’t, there’s a solid chance it’s because she’s looking to monkey-branch to a higher-value man.

Why does she think she can get a higher-value man? She’s 30, she has a good man who’s been working hard…what does she think is going to happen, she’s going to bail and then upgrade to a rich alpha 6-packed doctor? Yes. Yes she DOES think that. Because mainstream media has been feeding her that delusional fantasy her entire life, from Sex & The City to Girls to the latest Amy Schumer romcom movies. Her friends all call her gorgeous no matter how disgusting she gets and by taking a pic at just the right angle she can bathe in the attention of thousands of men online via social media, dating sites and Tinder. They don’t want to COMMIT to her, but she’s not thinking about COMMITMENT…Commitment is BORING, she HAS that with you and she’s SO bored and it’s probably your fault somehow anyway. Besides she knows that rich alpha 6-packed doctor might be ABLE to get younger hotter girls with less baggage and bitterness, but like a 5 year old who doesn’t understand that Santa Claus isn’t real she thinks she’s going to win his heart in the long-run just like that girl in 50 Shades of Grey.

And other men seem attractive. Why? Because they’re FORBIDDEN. Because of monogamy she’s not ALLOWED to fuck them, or date them, or even be AROUND them depending on how jealous her boyfriend is. And those other men look GOOD, because they’re still taking care of themselves or are high-value men at her office, maybe even wearing suits just like Don Draper. She doesn’t know that most of them are chodes under the surface. She doesn’t know most of them will be shitty lays. She doesn’t know most of them, if she went on a date with them, would make so many mistakes that turn her off that she would never even think about fucking them ever again because they’ve demonstrated their low-value to her. All she sees is guys she can’t talk to, giving her orders at work, and are probably sipping scotch in their office like Don Draper because TV is real. If she could spend some time with these men, she’d realize they were shit and her man is overall much higher value and more what she needs. But monogamy FORBIDS it. Don’t eat the apple, Eve!

She doesn’t even HAVE to break it off with you. She can monkey-branch on the side because Eat Pray Love, you go grrrl! In fact she’s INCENTIVIZED with cash & prizes by the gov’t and society to no-fault divorce you if she’s married to you. No one will call her an idiot, no one will call her a bad person making a mistake, and she can hamster rationalize that you were “emotionally abusive” and throw you and your reputation under the bus while all her girlfriends call her gorgeous and courageous. Grrl-power!!

Meanwhile, at the same time as all of that is happening, she is ACTIVELY trying to lower your value because she’s instinctively shit-testing you to see how much you value yourself. She made you cookies, will you scarf them down or is your body and health important to you? She’ll be SAD if you don’t eat them all, plus she LIKES you all cuddly! She may even put out more if you eat those cookies! So hey, fuck your personal rules for yourself and your boundaries, bend them a little to make the li’l woman happy. Next time she makes you a nice big home-cooked meal full of fattening foods and way more than you need to be satiated. But hey, you’re getting home-cookin! Plus she likes you a little cuddly! So let’s bend that rule again. And on and on, in all categories from physical appearance, to health, to social life, to hobbies, even to career in some cases. Gotta’ pass that job opportunity up to keep the li’l lady happy! Happy wife, happy life AMIRITE?? ‘course now you’ve shown that she’s your top priority over basically everything and you’re so desperate and in scarcity (oops I mean “in love”) that you’ll sabotage your own financial future and health and friendships etc. for her…which just loops back to feeding her belief that she’s much higher value.

So that’s monogamy. Sounds awesome. Literally from day one you are stacking as many odds against yourself as possible.


But let’s say you get through of that up above and still make it work. Well hey, now it’s time to move in together! How’s that going to look?


Now that you live together you see eachother all day every day. All the mystique vanishes, you hear her taking diarrhea dumps and see her without makeup and sexy outfits, she sees you laying on the couch slothing around watching TV and watching YouTube in your boxers eating kid’s cereal. You can text each other all day every day so there’s never any question about your whereabouts. She knows where you are and who you’re with 24/7 and if you don’t check in when she asks then she can nag you (and if you don’t comply, hello no-fault divorce!). There’s no mystery to you anymore, and the mystery was part of what was attractive about you. You’re like a solved puzzle, there’s nothing to really do with it, it’s not fun anymore the way it was when she was first dating you and trying to figure you out to get you to settle down.

So shit gets boring and the sex life dies down. Know why? Because you haven’t shown enough COMMITMENT! If you married her you’d see what a wonderful wife she is! She may even turn on the charm until you propose and right up to the wedding she’s your perfect angel! ‘course after the wedding she lets herself go to shit. Because why WOULDN’T she? She’s in a win/win situation for her. You can’t leave her, and if you do she gets your money and accolades from society and will upgrade to a doctor (in her mind). Why would she keep putting any effort in? Especially when you’re less and less attractive to her.

But hey, let’s pop out a kid, maybe that’ll spice things up. Nope, now you have even less free time even if she DID want to touch your dick, and more bills to pay, she refuses to lose the excessive North American pregnancy weight she gained “eating for two (the 2nd being the size of a milk jug)” and you can’t MAKE her or tell her she’s anything but gorgeous or hello divorce-rape and Robin Williams ending.

Through this WHOLE thing you’re restraining yourself from cheating, fighting a battle every day dying inside because your own wife won’t touch your weiner anymore and you’re too good a man to break vows you’ve made and you spend your life struggling and frustrated and miserable…meanwhile at 45+ she ditches you because she thinks it’s not too late to find that rich doting alpha male doctor who’s going to treat her like her fantasies.

Anyone want to sign up for this? And especially legally tie half your assets and the ability to see your children etc to this?

[cherubinth]

Not to murder other people is also a social construct.

[MrHavk]

Just the right dose of Red Pills I needed this morning. Good stuff Rich.

[theroamingsavage]

Purpose of marriage was about acquisition of wealth, land, power.
Plain and simple.

[marc]

If monogamy wasn't natural why do kids hurt when they parents split up? Why are men instinctively programed to protect and provide for his woman and offspring? Why are women instinctively inclined to love her man and offspring. Why are women instinctively loyal to men who can provide the most? Yes we have our flaws but deep down we all want the same thing, and it starts with understanding that we are one, and our true nature is to be loving and monogamous. Enough said

[riflemanhmrshooter]

I started an LTR maybe a year after taking the red pill. I watch the progression, habits, reactions, and behaviors and it's almost sickening. It's predictable, every bit of it. Every shit test, manufactured indication, everything. You have been lied to your whole lives, all of us have been. When you look through the lens, you see everything as it is.... And if you know how you can control it you will be ok. It kills you emotionally for the most part, meaning you don't get the same powerful emotional response that often leads to oneitis. It's a built in safeguard, probably completely unintentional, but it also leaves you feeling numb. You really are alone and solely responsible for your own happiness. Everything else is as predictable as training dogs. When you assign yourself your own moral system, know why you are doing it and you will be happier.

[jasonmcginty]

Just asking the question of whether or not something is “natural” assumes a distinction between natural and man made. But anything man made is a product of human ingenuity and intelligence, which is in turn a product of evolution.

If we’ve evolved any kind of a propensity for monogamy, isn’t that natural even if it is purely a social norm? Our social norms have evolved through means of natural selection also. Even if monogamy is rare in the animal kingdom, it has still evolved in some animals. So has promiscuity and polygamy. Isn’t it true that both are natural and they just exist in different proportions?

[jacobodom]

I would say that we’re sexually omnivorous.
We are adapted for both - it’s no coincidence that monogamy is found in almost every society. There are instances of polygamy but really we are adapted to quickly find another partner if things go south with our current one.

[dieselmind]

I believe it’s a choice between the sexes to be monogamous, however the more informed and educated men are of true nature of women the better! Always be willing to update your beliefs in this life. Not everyone is capable of grasping these ideas/truths! 🙏🏻

[Fastt]

Its rare for people to be in a relationship where both partners think they cant do better, it’s always one of them who has less interest.
I think monogamous people are rare to find and i think what stops them from fucking and cheating is religion and being scared society will shame them.

[mattk]

Been biting the red pill HARD for the past 3 years. Keep up the great content Rich

[brycesalte]

I think you just saved my life. On second thought you absolutely did.

[rakashaagain]

I agree we are not, but only the top 1% want to live in a polygamist society the rest turn to violence. OF course we are not naturally monogamous but you want peace and not too much violence, you need to enforce monogamy.

[miketeeveedub]

1:52 "Humans aren't animals." That dude has obviously not been to family law court.

[pappavoodoo]

Man I hear what you're saying, but where does emotional attachment come from? Jealousy I get but the sadness that comes from cheating.

[niksnavnn]

It's sad to know our species isn't naturally monogamous when I get attched way too easily. It is hard to share serious love.

[Gainesmils]

I love your show. It’s things that I already felt spoken on a platform.