History Re-Summarized: Egypt

I for one was shocked to learn the Egyptians actually buried their kings in a giant Millennium Puzzle.
We've covered Egypt on this channel in previous videos, but this History Re-Summarized is the Definitive Edition, redone from the ground up to present the best possible account — starting at the beginning for a full chronology of Ancient Egypt, from the very first Pharaohs the Muslim Conquest.

(Observant Egyptologists and D&D players might note the Pyramids are actually D-*Fives*, but technically they're D-*Nines* since each face is actually two right triangles at a slight angle to each other and not a single flat isosceles triangle, so shhh, we can pretend it's a D4.)

Our content is intended for teenage audiences and up.

[OverlySarcasticProductions]

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-B

[Dyneamaeus]

"Conquered not by a man, but a god." is a statement absolutely thick with historical weight.

[Strider]

Every time I look at the Ptolemy family tree the geneticist in me has a mini heart attack trying to think of how to calculate the inbreeding coefficient

[hamzahammami]

Egypt's history after the Pharaohs is equally fascinating

[Riverbed_Dreaming]

‘Alexander the Macedonian twink’ I’m not sure if you admire the guy or despise him at this point but that is a powerful sentence

[IeshiAke]

It's always astounding to think about how old Egypt is. There are around a thousand years between the old and middle kingdoms... then another 4000 until today

[beardedgeek]

I never had a problem with "upper and lower" since I always assumed it had to do with elevation and the direction rivers flow (aka downwards and towards larger and larger bodies of water)

[Just_Some_Guy_with_a_Mustache]

Wait, I'm confused. Where's the part where the pharaohs, his court, and their enemies battled each other with stone slabs that summoned monsters in a children's card game?

[eveakane]

All that discussion for a Pyramid Scheme joke. I applaud you.

[a.h.s.]

"Egypt is not a historic country, Egypt came first, then came the history"
-Najeeb Mahfouz

[juanjuri]

2:40 the bent pyramid didn't collapse into itself - the one that did was the pyramid of Meidum, which was being built at the same time. Both pyramids were ambitious in that they tried to go for a much pointier elevation angle than the other pyramids that came before or after - but Meidum's collapse proved that you needed to go kinda squat or it wouldn't be structurally stable, so the builders of the bent pyramid got the news of what happened and went "fuck it, bent pyramid better than no pyramid I guess"

[dionadair]

"conquered not by a man, but a god" is a fittingly dramatic and poetic line for Ancient Egypt.

[HPetch]

My biggest takeaway from all this: the absolute mess of Ptolemaic intermarriage that Blue nearly had a breakdown trying to explain years ago is, somehow, less distressing than the nightmare that happened in the following two (or three, it's a bit hard to notate) generations. I can understand why he didn't talk about that at the time, though - after what discussing Ptolemys six to eight did to him, going into nine through twelve probably would have actually killed him.

[reillycurran]

I think not enough attention is paid in history classes to the fact that the NEW kingdom period is still as ancient to Augustus as the Rashidun and Charlemagne are to us. Egypt the culture is one of the most singularly ancient that we know of, so much so that the Afro-Asiatic language family the Egyptian language descends from is one of the oldest that linguists have been able to reconstruct, being estimated as having roots up to 10, 000 years old.

Not to mention how the alphabet I'm writing this in derives from Egyptian hieroglyphs, 𐑨𐑟 𐑐𐑸𐑖𐑩𐑤 𐑨𐑟 𐑲 𐑥𐑱 𐑚𐑰 𐑑 •𐑖𐑱𐑝𐑾𐑯 𐑦𐑯𐑕𐑑𐑧𐑛.

[TheFlamingGamerYT]

Egypt has some neat stuff going for me, at least when I read about how the pyramids were built, and the cool designs for the architecture, as well as the hieroglyphs

[AskMia]

Never knew Egypt was conquered so much before Rome, I wonder how it affected their theology/mythology. Always learn something new from these videos!

[michaelscott]

"Do you understand the Ptolemaic Dynasty?"
"Nah, it's all greek to me."

[waffleworshiper]

The pyramids of Egypt are square pyramids but d4s are triangular pyramids. However, since we haven’t burrowed under the Pyramids at Giza we can’t know for certain that they aren’t simply half-buried d8s!

[lavaknight]

I do really love how an entire language was discovered completely by accident

[abbycaldwell]

Having recently gone over Ancient Egypt in my art history class, I love the little note with Akenaten about putting more realism in art. Earlier (and later) Egyptian art was heavily formulaic in its construction and Akhenaten really went all out in disrupting those conventions. The art depicting him has so much more character and individuality than the more idealized representations of the other pharaohs - he had some really noticeable cheekbones and wasn't afraid of being depicting with a bit of a stomach.