100 UNCOMFORTABLE Transgender and Nonbinary Questions

I answer all your questions. Especially the difficult ones. Anything you were wondering or confused about is answered right here, right now.

✦ Creator of my avatar: @DragunFU

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#lgbt #nonbinary #transgender #ama #qna

[clearnotefrostflower]

“I wanna be a feminine guy and a masculine girl” THAT IS SO REAL

[Lumisatus]

9:48 Trans NB here, I just wanted to add my experience, because I think this is important. I think not experiencing euphoria is valid. I didn't feel euphoria after I got my top surgery. What I felt was relief. It wasn't like a huge blast of dopamine, but the dysphoria I felt about that part of me was gone. I just felt right. And I think that's just as affirming! 😊

[empersian]

Also yeah having a period 100% sucks. It sucks even worse when the uterus decides to grow non-cancerous yet painful things like fibroids and cysts, etc. Can't wait to yeet this organ I'll never use that's causing me chronic pain

[xantho]

A thing I'd like to mention, in relation to the fashion based question - punk, alt, goth, they're all inherently unisex and meant for everyone who wants to be in the style. That's the best part about those styles and why they tend to be very accepting of people of all identities!


Also, holy shit this is such an affirming video thank you so much lmao

[SBA_]

As a cis dude this video is very helpful since I actually have a friend who’s trans.

[wolfsign]

this is wild. I watched this video, got super stressed abt stuff. came out to my boyfriend and then we decided to get engaged. somehow negative legend caused my engagement hahaha.

but fr I'm so happy and glad I talked about my gender with my FIANCÉ 💕💕

[OcyTaviAh]

I love this video. I relate. Don’t forget to include intersex people when discussing physical sex and sex characteristics. There is actually less of a binary for the physical sex aspect than most people think.

[Emma-oujq]

I questioned my gender for a long time thinking I didn’t want to be a woman but a lot of self reflection later and I realized it was only because of how aggressively sexualized I am in every day life, otherwise I love actually being a woman and having the parts I do :(

[hellrzer]

oh my god. I've never heard dysphoria described as wet socks before but that's *exactly* what it is.

[UncleAndyArt]

I love your mention about dysphoria cause while yes I do experience mild dysphoria, it's not on the same level as most people. I'm AFAB trans masc and the main reason I didn't start testosterone until I was much older was because I actually didn't want to change my body. I wanted facial hair and a deeper voice, but I didn't want to loose my big hips and slim shoulders or really anything about my body from the neck down beyond my boobs. Luckily my testosterone treatments did just that - I got a deeper voice and facial hair, and that's about it almost nothing else changed.

It's mostly cause I have a very specific form of gender dysphoria known as DGD (Dissociative Gender Dysphoria). Basically, the mental image you have of yourself is so strong that your mind just refuses to accept what you actually look like. It can materialize in different ways for different people, but for me in particular it's less like this is "my body" as much as it's "her body". My brain basically processes my head and my body as two completely different individuals, to the point where there are times where I have trouble recognizing my own body in the mirror. Rather than being one person, it feels like I'm a puppeteering a marionette. It's part of the reason thay from a very young age, I always found myself drawn to characters in anime that were identical twins but opposite genders. Cause that's what it feels like sometimes, that I'm a pair of twins, but I don't have a split personality, just a split identity between my head and my body

[varishav]

It reminds me when I accidently provided one of my exes their fem name. Because of family tradition they did not have a legal middle name. Well one day they were being silly and bratty(in a fun way), so when they ran off up the stairs after 'aggravating' me, I implemented the full name response telling them to get back down here ... .however without an actual middle name to use one just popped out. It's a name that can easily be fem or masculine. It stuck. Life pulled us apart and I often find myself thinking of them and hoping they are doing well.

[maleprincess]

the question about dating stresses me out because I am asexual and aromantic but I still experience aesthetic and platonic attraction to a strong degree, and what I would be comfortable with wouldn't be enough for a romantic partner, but I would need more time dedication than an ordinary friendship

[taylorallen]

I appreciate your comment about being grateful not to have a period- That is very true, as a cis woman I only wish periods upon my worst enemies, great for anyone who avoids that experience lmao

[Kaiheart]

I identify as non-binary and prefer they/them pronouns, but have settled on being okay with she/they cause no one around me seems to understand how to use they/them when referring to me. I'm currently waiting and saving up to have a chest removal cause I hate them in a similar way to the Adam's apple feeling - they need to go, they are so uncomfortable.

[TheBrickMasterB]

20:00 Unironically, I've been telling tons of people for ages that they need to be willing to answer questions in good faith. Telling someone to "google it" does literally nothing but turn people off to wanting to hear about your issues, because it makes it come off as some pretentious social club rather than a legitimate group of people.

There's going to be people asking obnoxious questions. That's how the world works and will work until the end of time. People suck like that.

If we want the world to reflect our needs and desires we have to be willing to put in the work for it. And part of that is people wanting to learn.

[blacksesamecandies]

Love how casual and non-chanlant this is. I've seen a few trans videos that make a huge event out of it, so it's nice to see something more down to earth. Feels more approachable. Glad you are living your best life!

[GretchZ]

I picked my middle name in like 5 minutes of a list of traditional Yiddish girl names that started with a Z.
My nickname was or contained Z for decades, and I wanted GZ as my first two initials.
I was annoyed and ambivalent about a first name. I was complaining and spouting off a bunch of G names to a friend and she just said one, which wasn’t even on my list.
“Good. Done.”

I love that story.

[flanthief]

My trans gf and I were thinking of moving out of CO and then the RvW thing happened and we really really felt how fragile the system was. We feel so safe here.

On the note of deradicalizing people. In high school I was transphobic and it just took really patient friends who were willing to spend time with me. I would also watch YouTubers who challenged my world view to soon realize what I was thinking was wrong. Now I'm queer and all my most precious people in my life are trans or nonbinary 🩵

[invisibleink]

I feel the part of "people need to be more ok with asking questions"

I always tell people to ask me any questions they have on me (this is normally relating to either my gender identity that being non binary or that I have DID and are a system) I much prefer getting asked the "basic" or "weird" questions to help inform and clear up misconceptions on either topic.

[robinchirps]

For the question on coming out to strangers (probably for job reasons):
Obviously if it’s someone you interact with once, don’t feel you have to say anything.
But for coworkers you really should feel it out. If you’re heavily dysphoric and being misgendered is a big trigger, do come out and tell people. At the very least, it’ll root out an environment that won’t work longterm. I used to not tell anyone but being misgendered was driving me insane and I decided to bite the bullet and I’ve been lucky where it’s mostly been good experiences.
Besides, if you are obviously transitioning, a lot of people nowadays can clock it and will ask you anyways.