Do INFs Live Odd Lifestyles?

INFJ personality types and INFP personality types tend to be accommodating when young, and then become more unconventional with age. As they ease into the midlife transition (also known as the “midlife awakening”) many INFJ personality types and INFP personality types may explore polyamory or unconventional partnerships with others. INFJ personality types and INFP personality types may also travel or move more than other people, or live on the fringes of society.

For many INFJ personality types and INFP personality types, it’s common to cast off more of society’s programming and expectations as a normal part of the aging process. This helps us become more of who we are, and deepen our relationship with self and spirit. However, it can feel confusing or threatening to others, and so our circle of relationships may dwindle as we go through this shift. This is because friends and family only see the changes from the outside, and so the shifts may feel sudden to them, too abrupt, or they can’t understand why the shift is happening at all. From their perspective, the person they knew was a certain way for a long time, and now that person has suddenly changed with very little explanation.

It can be extremely difficult for INFJ personality types and INFP personality types to communicate the details of the inner shifts we experience as we go through the midlife transition, and so it’s important to get to know other INFJ personality types and INFP personality types who are on the same journey, so that we don’t end up isolated and alone.


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[lindateuling]

I have long since stopped listening to people who say that my lifestyle is weird. In fact, I have found it for most people the word "weird" means ""You're not like me."

[janetleeadams]

Ha ! Old student, MA in Education, worked in 8 countries, gave up teaching to raise goats in North Africa. Life is interesting.

[jaytm]

YES. When I was younger it was more apparent to others, and I was often ostracized for it. Now I'm older (64) I just don't give a *uck, and other don't seem to care and accept me for who and what I am.

[ellea]

INFJ - 36F. No partner, no kids, no home, no car, no TV but lots of friends/cousins, audiobooks, and 6 figures in investments; in 5 years, I will have enough to reduce work hours and do more travelling. Love my unconventional life!

[katec]

Your videos resonate with me a lot. I'm in my 40s and as the time has gone on my life has become less conventional. It wasn't intentional and I have some grief about it, but I wasnt able to tolerate a lot of what regular people tolerate such as certain jobs and behaviours in relationships. People tolerate so much just to fit in.

[ScottRiddleArtist]

I feel that like with autism. It may depend on how strong you are on the spectrum. I just read an article on the topic ten books presently banned in schools here in the United States. And then proceeded to find and buy all of them to add to my unconventional library. 😀😀😀😀

[labradorableretriever]

The fitting in. American culture has never been for me. Packed it up moved to Germany several years ago and finished my degree in music education over here. Living an isolated introverted area where people tend to keep more to themselves. It’s a better fit, even if you still feel a bit weird around some people. About three friends no problem with that. As my paternal grandmother used to say the older you get the less you care about what people think about you so who gives a sh** overtime I ended up adopting her motto

[t.anderson]

Wow, so much of this video resonates with me! No one understands why I do not want a house or car or other standard acquisitions. Luckily, I have been able to find positions abroad that provide free housing and my boyfriend lives in the U.S. so I am able to have an apartment (I pay part of the rent and utilities throughout the year) when I visit during summer and winter breaks. Having what I perceive as too many things mentally weighs me down and overwhelms me. Luckily, I am strangely unsentimental and have almost no need to hold on to objects as memories. Self development through reading and travel is the most important to me. And trying to help animals and nice people with fewer resources than me. Thank you for such an insightful video!

[Queen_Sylvia]

I have a very unique name, like to wear unique and memorable clothing, have niche hobbies and tastes and love every bit of it from this vantage point at 47. As a kid, definitely wanted to blend in, but clearly did not. It hurt a lot then, but yes, grew into my “weirdness” and actually love myself because of it! INFJ life!

[andeeanko]

I'm a mature INFP (over 50) and this is spot on. I am very unconventional and always have been. In an introverted way when I was younger, as you have said. I could say a LOT about this topic another time. I just discovered your channel, I've subscribed!

[lynnehendersonfisher]

Lovely insights Lauren...as always. I'm 62...now totally happy in my own skin having done the midlife crisis in my 50s. Painful but so worth it. Just finished a novel on the subject too which is so, close to my heart. Lovely to dip into your videos Lauren. 😊

[trinabrettnell]

I'm an INFJ and have been seen as weird and odd my entire life I'm also ASD so I've got a double whammy 😁

[carolinemathieson]

I'm 64 and have no tattoos, peircings or jewellery of any kind. I prefer plain. However I do love black nail polish. That's my only expressiveness. I never had a large circle of friends and still don't. I'm sure most would consider my lifestyle to be odd because i don't go out much and prefer books and movies. I have had long term relationships but now seperated for 6 years. I do miss having a lover. I'm not sure if i've had a mid life crisis or maybe for me that's still to come?

[fzswriter]

As an older (66) INFP guy who also identifies as bi+, finding this discussion is the universe smacking me upside the head with a 2 x 4. I would say that I've lived the "odd" lifestyle just like my orientation--from the neck up--for 50 years. Trying to move some of my weirdness into the world is a huge challenge. It's so much more comfortable inside my head! Hoping to get in on the class.

[DonTrump-svsi]

I work full time as a manager and i live in my 2004 Chevy Suburban. So cool. If you can manage it, I highly recommend it.

[rfsmith]

I got my nose pierced at 58 and a tattoo at 60. I feel like i am fully what kind of woman I should have been all along.

[spiritwanderer]

sigma-infj here, my life has been so strange and unconventional that most people don't believe me when i tell my story. nowadays I mostly blend in, pass through like a shadow, and I just do my thing. after 40 years i finally stopped trying to fit in or be accepted.

[jg]

I'm an INFJ and I have red hair. So I've always stood out. But I love my hair and would never dye it. No tattoos, ever. I'm happily married and he's my one and only, forever. He feels the same (INTJ). We do have 12 acres on which we grow our own food. We absolutely love it and worked very hard to get to where we are today.

[Robert-xwg]

I dress slightly strange but not too much so - grey dockers with a black t-shirt, for example. Longer hair but not shoulder-length long. Yes - as I've gotten older I don't care so much what others think.

[jaredvaughan]

The real name for polyamory is polylustery