Twin Flame Psychology: Are They Soulmates Or Trauma Bonds? - Inner Work Library [135/500]

Are twin flames real or are they trauma bonds? Twin flame psychology, romantic projection and romantic fantasy are important aspects of twin flame psychology and the healing journey of twin flame relationships. Today we explore the shadow psychology of romantic projection, twin flame relationships and relationship projection - with a specific focus on fantasy psychology and unconscious love dynamics which can be hard to identify when we get wrapped up in the divine feminine and divine masculine.

An especially useful video for individuals who want to learn how to use shadow work to heal their trauma bonds, stop fantasy projection relationships and otherwise remove themselves from dissociative imaginary relationships or unstable twin flame psychology.

FREE: Shadow Work Playlist (15 Videos):

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⏱️ TIMESTAMPS ⏱️

00:00 Are Twin Flames Real?
01:11 Trauma Bonds & Toxic Relationships
02:40 Spiritual Psychology Of Twin Flames (Quran & Bible)
07:52 Internet Hype & New Age Psychology
12:02 Romantic Fantasy & Limerence Explained
17:03 How To Create A Soulful Relationship

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Topics explored: shadow work; romantic projection; romantic projection psychology; romantic shadow; twin flame; twin flame reading; twin flame psychology; are twin flames real; are twin flames real or am I crazy; twin flame spiritual psychology; spiritual psychology; twin flame energy update; false twin flame; false twin flame signs; what are twin flames; how to find your twin flame; twin flames psychology; psychology of twin flames; limerence; limerence psychology; soulmate psychology;

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#twinflame #twinflames #twinflamejourney

[jordanthornton]

Happy Valentine’s Day 🕊️

This is a special and much-requested episode which I’ve purposefully avoided for 2+ years.

Twin flames are a triggering topic, and I’m hesitant to preach dogmatic conclusions, but I’m here for respectful conversations.

Got any twin flame / false twin flame / trauma bond experiences that taught you some soulful lessons? Share your story in the comments and help me spread some much-needed psychological love this Valentine’s Day.

I’ll be reading and responding to all comments, as always.

Jordan 🌲

[Kat-mizm]

For me, one of the first stages of my TF journey was doubt/denial. I went down the TF/spiritual rabbit hole in the attempt to find evidence that this could not possibly be what i was experiencing. Then i turned to psychology and went through deep attachment healing, shadow work, parts work, etc. all in the attempt to disprove that this person and i were linked by some unseen but definitely felt force outside of my control. Limerance was one of the first things i came across and id hoped with enough self work i could squash it, to no avail. In the end, I feel that I've explored every possible avenue and im forced to surrender to the greater divine connection. Though i am thoroughly changed, (i am no longer chasing or obsessed with this person as the goal is to spiritually awaken to Self) i am forced to acknowledge that i would not have been able to reach the depth of self awareness without the triggers this person provided or without the Kundalini awakening they activated. Are TF's real? I would have to say yes. Are many (and i mean many) people suffering from delusional fantasies believing they are on a TF journey when that's not the actual case? Also yes.

I would add that even if you believe and/or suspect you're on a TF journey, you should absolutely take Jordan's advice and ground yourself. Explore the possibility that it's actually Limerence or attachment trauma. Try and stay grounded in reality as the tendency to slip into full psychosis is very real. This can lead to spiritual crisis, etc. the road gets very dark. Thank you for the great video, Jordan!

[jenniferh]

I too have been on this journey of discovering the concept of twin flames since 2018. It came about unexpectedly when I fell deeply for a person and began to see signs, the numbers, the dreams, and feeling like their presence is always with you.
I agree that it can be a very tragic and destabilizing experience, until you finally begin to uncover the root cause. It feels as if it was mainly an experience of stripping away anything that is not love of self and other.
Part of that stripping away process is the realization that fantasy, longing, limerance and trauma bonding are simply not aligned with the experience of love of self and others.
Thank you for this video! It was a great follow up from the last talk about romantic projection.

[jmo]

I've been avoiding your page to do my own work and not be reliant on any one source of advice but I couldn't ignore this post as my own "twin flame journey" is what brought me to your content and an intense year(s) of work on self to begin with.

I completely agree with you on all points; I simultaneously think the experience has a spiritual component AS WELL AS being indicative of a trauma bond I've labeled as "limerent psychosis". Coming out on the other side of the experience, I am far better for it but all the same I appreciate grounded responses like these as it is an intensely ungrounding experience. At the very least it points exactly to where we have unrecognized trauma and work to do on ourselves and what we ideally strive for as far as spiritual connection with a romantic partner. Thanks and now goodbye again 🙏

[BradleyMorris-hu]

Interesting.. There’s actually many different ideas of “Twin Flames.” I think the one you’re describing here is more in line with Plato’s romanticized version from The Symposium (one soul, two bodies). However, another train of thought actually fully supports your video. Several modern thought leaders consider Twin Flames to actually be the person you meet BECAUSE you are dealing with unhealthy attachments. They believe that one attracts the Twin Flame to help one purge out the anxious/avoidant traits, so to speak, through a series of high highs and low lows. I actually really like this one. They say that after you’ve dealt with the Twin Flame (learned all you need to learn/separated), you attract your “Mirror Soul.” Truthfully, everyone is a mirror of your soul, but the “Mirror Soul” is said to be a person that doesn’t come with drama or unhealthy attachment. This particular theory also comes with a third label called “soulmates, ” which can be any living thing. It seems to be a very practical way of describing the journey of romantic life for people.

Twin flames = Toxic relationship meant to heal childhood wounds
Soulmates = Friends/lovers throughout the journey
Mirror Soul = The healthy relationship one has after doing the shadow work

If someone is overly romanticizing/being delusional about their Twin Flame, then well it seems to be serving its purpose (as they will soon find out that the true Twin Flame’s role is to get them out of the delusion that they picked up through traumatic life experiences.

[zackjosephs]

Long but important for those new to the twin flame journey. 🧿☯️🙏🕉️

Jordan, I gave myself the night and morning to decide if responding to this in a comment would be a valuable use of my time and energy. What I have come up with is that, if not for you, I believe it best for other Jordan I mean no disrespect to you, your channel or content. This will be bold and from my heart in a loving and honest way. Skills I have learned from your channel about becoming a whole person and confident in speaking up when its necessary. Let this be a testament that Ive learned a great deal from your and other's work.

Valuing that everyone has a mixed feeling about Twin Flames I must advocate for the person earlier on in their journey who may have just watched your video while in the chaotic energy of the beginning when nothing makes sense. Then feeling like they are more messed up for believing something that is already very unbelievable. It might be good for selling service's as I saw the comment about limiting your services to 20 people per year. However, it is wreckless to leave someone early in their awakening with the inheritant thought they are wrong for doing and following what feels right. Modern psychology has its limitations to the topic of Universal connections. Ironically some foundational names in modern psychology came up with the same work taught in the TF journey. Carl Jung, Nevel Goddard, and many others first coined shadow work, inner work, childhood traumas etc. Twin flames is not new, the terminology used to romanisize and profit from the connection is. But the soul, and soul bonds have got back through every culture.

Early in my awakening I learned from Heidi Preibe all the topics you are commenting on about limerence and attachment theory, which opened the door to Dr. Kim and others. Your channel didn't show up for me until after getting through the hardest part of my own work. On my journey I sought to learn from many angles. New age spirituality, Christian teachings, modern psychology and science. Quantum physics proves there is so much we dont know. And modern psychology cant teach. Painfully Ive sought to understand what is not meant to be understood. Ive learned this journey but Ive experience it as well.

I will not take it away from you, the YouTube Twin Flame narrative is in its own way a toxicity to healing, its a money and subscription game with so much conflicting information. One can quickly spend thousands of dollars to get "answers" from so called "experts" who share unique expressions of their own journey as the "one way" while lost in hours of card readings especially if there is no contact with the other self... I know I fell into that trap, new friends on the journey it does get easier. There is a truth about the twin flame journey that only Twin Flames who master themselves come to know. You learn that all of the answers are already inside of you, you only need yourself to find them or a coach that will help you find your own answers. And when you find those answers you have found yourself. That is this journey, its not about the other self. Its about yourself as its mirrored back to you from the person you call your twin flame. Your twin teaches you in a different way than say taking a class or going to college, they teach you to find yourself as you do the same for them.

You can call it romantic obsession or limerence because it "sounds" a lot like that. No different than calling a tomato a vegetable because its served on a salad. Just because its similar doesnt make it fact. Much of modern psychology is a projection of the interpretation of the therapist or coach. How many people are miss diagnosed because of a belief of the therapist based on their own unhealed unknown childhood or life traumas? Modern psychology doesn't teach about new age spiritual concepts (technically their old age pre psychology concepts used for thousands of years but their called new age to discredit them) does that make all those concepts false? If so that would call into question some of your own past content.

The truth is as its seen throughout your comments section that either you just found a treasure trove of new clients or there is something missing from your research. Which my guess is experience in the twin flame journey because if you had the experience you wouldn't have made the video you did, or left the insensitivity of how the message was communicated. The twin flame journey is about healing, its a transformation of ones self. Trust me a year ago I wouldn't believe I would typing these words when stuck in the woo-woo of all that the twin flame community tries to sell it as. Ive spend the majority of 2023 unemployed, in isolation, trying to make sense of the journey from both a accepting and surrendering spiritual side as well as a logical minded side of what it will take to help others through the painful troubles of this journey. I have intentionally delayed my own healing journey to feel every minute of it. I have prolonged online smear campaigns and unfounded court cases from the other self that the court continues to dismiss to learn all that was being taught while holding proof that discredited all the claims. I could have ended my healing journey long ago by releasing all my withheld content but instead accepted it as it was teaching both of us something. Ending the journey would have been selfish of me, just because I have the means to doesn't make it right to take from mine or the other self's healing journey. Her being manipulated by a new partner doesn't make it true so I let it ride knowing that Id only grow more through the experiences. And if it ever got too challenging I was holding the ace card to end it all. The lesson is that retaliation is not love and certainly isnt forgiveness. Just because I could doesn't mean I have to. I put my journey above my ego and pride

Do you want to know what limerence cant do. Limerence cant allow someone to walk away with unstructured forgiveness for all the hurtful things done and said. Nor does it allow a person to love unconditional of the other self ever returning. Modern psychology cant teach this in months where the twin journey can and that threatens the validity of modern psychology modalities.

Can a twin flame dynamic come back together again. As a normal relationship as it was considered before the start of the journey, no way... It will never be the same as it was before. However I agree that if both parts of the self heal and must do and continue doing the work separately while together. Then we can reflect back on the Bible verses you provided that becoming one flesh is the purpose of all the pain on this journey. Akin to the hardest experiences are by design to bring together two people in a healthy balanced way. Even more so "one" than couples who just get married out of their limerence or perceived love for each other. Because twins have gone threw every level of emotions with each other and more importantly themselves. Before they can come back and stay in a healthy connection together. They have already seen what their dynamic could be in its most loving form before separating and while apart their own shadows and the darkness of their other self. If they learn forgiveness of the past and choose love over hate. Its possible...

I truly believe in this journey and have continued to seek periodic professional check-ins to make sure I am grounded in my belief no different than believing in a book written 2000 years ago copied more than any other book ever written by the experiences of 12 people who followed a man who now know as Christ. Everything has its place to try and separate things is the duality plaguing the forgiveness and unconditional love we all should have for each other.

That is my message with love for whatever it is worth to whoever needed to read it.

[Behavior_Coach]

Psychology professor and licensed behavior analyst here with my 2 cents:

First of all, thank you Jordan for your transparency and softness that you’ve approached this topic; it’s definitely a tricky one.

Second- I was not a spiritual person until I met my now partner who I would hesitantly but very likely consider a twin flame (going on 3 years of the typical twin flame dynamic). My psychological background is grounded in observable and measurable behaviors, so for me to even consider something such as twin flames existed would have previously been disregarded and considered “toxic” behavior patterns for one or both parties. What made me believe that twin flames exist is the patterns that emerge for different types of soul connections. You cannot discuss twin flames without also discussing the difference between TF and karmic relationships. Both hold lessons for an individual’s soul’s journey. The patterns are different for both as far as behaviors of each party goes, and there are cycles that begin to emerge for both that are distinct. After comparing my own previous connections against eachother and introspecting, I am a believer that people are brought into your life for a reason (i.e., to influence your soul’s growth), but you dont really know the difference in a karmic relationship vs a twin flame relationship until you can look at it retrospectively.

Third, my current frustration with twin flames being a hot topic is that not enough people discussing them are bringing it back to the root of why the connection exists. Twin flames do not exist because it’s your happily ever after; if you get that, then you are blessed. The true twin flame journey is an individual journey with the other person acting as a mirror. My partner showed me my shadow and unknowingly interacted in ways where I have worked through my shadow and trauma responses. Example- I have always been co-dependent in relationships and repeated the same karmic cycles; even with the off and on of my current partner, I am no longer co-dependent because of the way she has carried herself through our journey. She didnt intend to teach me that lesson, but the moment you begin introspecting, looking for your own behavioral patterns, and applying resolutions for the betterment of your growth—- that’s the purpose of the twin flame journey. The partner is a mirror or tool. The outcome is your growth through the process of being shown your shadow and hopefully progressing through self-development.

Finally- another part not emphasized enough is how the twin flame journey also attempts to balance the masculine and feminine energy within yourself. Everyone has both; usually you lean more towards one being expressed more either through behavioral patterns or gender identity (not sexual identity). Example- I have always been more of a masculine woman energetically, and I am also a lesbian. What was interesting to me is that my partner (a woman) brings out my feminine energy in a way that now I consider myself more energetically balanced. I dress more gender neutral while she dresses more feminine. But the way our masculine and feminine energies (vibrations/behavioral patterns/etc) both interact and change when we are around each other has been very interesting for me to watch. I’ve never had a partner make me feel secure enough to express my feminine/emotional side after relying on my masculinity for so long to survive in family/relationship/work dynamics.

There’s so much to expand on, but thank you again Jordan for initiating the discussion and also giving space for us to share our experiences, so we can grow together.

[saygoodnightogravity]

Thank you Jordan for this quality content. From my personal experience, I agree with the previous comments about seeing “the twin flame journey” as a path to our own individual soul discovery. Both partners can be a catalyst to each other awakenings. I’d say the journey begins where you left the video, meaning that it is only when the person feeling the limerence, the obsession finally decides to separate and cut all communication with the partner, choosing to focus only on herself from there on and on her spiritual growth and healing, truly surrendering from the outcome of the relationship. From this moment on, is just trusting that everything that is happening is for our greater good.

If all the triggering the partner provokes does not lead to an epiphany that results in a painful (at that moment) separation from them, then from my perspective the journey hasn’t even started. From my experience, only when I reached this stage I started to come across the idea of twin flame, although I think this is a very personal and unique experience for everyone (but what is the modern world without labels, right? 😅)

In the end, it’s not about being with the partner anymore. In fact, there’s a complete compassion for them and true wish for them to also be happy, whether they’re with us or not. Now, for me, the interesting part is whether us leaving the relationship triggers the partner to his own self growth and healing. If it does, they will want to talk again and it is like meeting them for the first time and starting anew as both are aligned now. I believe they both can stimulate each other to become the best versions of themselves everyday. Still a tough choice to take this path for your life, but it might be rewarding on many levels. If it doesn’t, we move on with our life because we now feel whole anyway. We don’t give anyone what we don’t give to ourselves first :)

[caringforall]

As a 50 something woman, I would have agreed with you before my last year. I am highly analytical and question everything as an INFJ.
But, my last year has been otherworldly- with a rapid acceleration into my spiritual growth, (almost involuntarily) owing to a person I had just met and connected with deeply.
As a secular person, it has been a shock to me, but I have faith because I have a very tangible synchronistic message (a photograph of the person before I met him with a divine message literally included)

[SMinerva]

The "twin flame" journey is a spiritual awakening. It's not about union with another, but union with your own soul. As someone who has been on this journey for 6 years now, I can assure you it is a very real phenomenon, although you don't have to believe me of course. I can also attest to the fact that close to 99% of the information regarding twin flames is entirely inaccurate and most people are definitely misguided. From a metaphysical standpoint it makes perfect sense but it takes many years of deepening into the Soul to be able to see and feel and understand beyond the logical mind (which is the point of the journey). Very simply put, it is one of many paths to enlightenment. Very real indeed. I wonder how old you are? Under 30 or over, if you don't mind me asking?

[zinasherif]

God bless you Jordan for the level of tolerance you are displaying here in the comment section, with the New age fanatics who are attacking you because you challenge their “delusions”..
I’m so happy that you brought up this subject of limerence and trauma bund which most of your new age audience believe it’s a soul mate connection when in reality it’s just a wishful thinking that got no foundation in any real or spiritual concept.
Keep doing what you are doing and don’t let those “ignorant l” New agers have any say in your platform, instead direct them or advise them to seek other channels that suits their belief system.
Love you Jordan ❤️

[gailaltschwager]

Thank you, Jordan! You are very brave to help people facing their Illusions and projections.

[sullieskye]

I like how you said at the end that it needs to be more grounded and slower. Slower is the perfect word. Theres a lot of desperation in the world at large and i think people need to reevaluate their values. People can have deep and meaningful relationships, but they shouldnt demand love or attention from someone. Slower really is the key word! Thanks for the video.

[riabronte]

I rarely comment on YouTube vids but I've gotten a lot from this one and all these comments- I'm feeling a bit less overwhelmed, confused and lonely about it all. Which makes me think maybe engaging in the comment sections can be worthwhile...so I'd like to share! First, I have a music video about my experience of these themes which some of you might relate to and find solace in (it's on my YT channel here and called "in love, for love, with love") it's about rewriting that story from "this is so profound and synchronistic they must be my soulmate" to "they were a catalyst to coming home to my soul". Secondly, according to Jung, children are much closer to soul (haven't developed much of a complex personality etc) and so someone triggering our childhood wounds reminds us of the existence of our inner child and therefore soul state.

This may have already been said in the comments but it just hit home hard- and actually explains a dream i had the first night i met this guy that my song is about. in the dream, my dad whisked me away from an abusive situation, saving me and driving me to america (which always symbolised freedom for me and my dad) but as soon as we got to america, where i thought we'd start a new and free life, he dropped me off and abruptly left. i was confused and lost. And essentially the same thing happened with this guy over the coming months. He represented true freedom and i felt a sense of universal safety i havent felt before, but it abruptly ended/he isnt coming the whole way on the journey. Not sure if this will be interesting to anyone else but i just thought it was cool that my unconscious knew how my daddy issues were gonna play out before i did...

[AOEve]

You’re a gem, my friend. I really appreciate how you present your research and very grounded discussion of topics without giving your opinion. You’re doing truly excellent work in this lifetime and are officially one of my role models.

[ZarelaVelasquez]

My two cents: I got into this rabbit hole before trying to understand what I was feeling as it was the strongest connection I ever felt, later on I got to learn about attachment styles and everything made sense. The avoidant is the runner and the anxious preoccupied is the chaser. No contact is the period of separation. When I’ve learned about my own attachment style, I realized that my inner child was triggered and caused me the biggest pain and also realized why we were so attracted to each other. Here is a summary of why seems like a Twin Flame connection:

The intensity and lingering pain you're experiencing, along with the complex dynamics between you and your connection, can indeed feel like what is often described in twin flame journeys. However, whether or not this is a twin flame connection can be subjective and depends on personal beliefs and perspectives. Here are some factors to consider:

1. **Intense Connection**: Twin flames often experience an immediate and powerful connection, which you seem to have felt with this person.

2. **Mirror Effect**: Twin flames are said to mirror each other's deepest fears and insecurities. Your dynamic of an anxious attachment style with his dismissive avoidant style fits this pattern, highlighting deep emotional wounds.

3. **Periods of Separation**: Twin flame relationships often involve phases of separation and reunion. His distancing and change in the friendship could be part of this cycle.

4. **Catalyst for Growth**: These connections are believed to trigger significant personal growth and spiritual awakening. Your experiences of creative surges and profound emotional responses suggest this.

5. **Unresolved Pain**: The lingering pain and difficulty in moving on can also be indicative of a twin flame dynamic, where the connection remains impactful despite physical separation.

[summerdoll]

I agree with you. Thank you for this video. I think the twinflame concept is true, however there is a lot of delusions around it. I think many people keep themselves in abusive relationships believing it’s a twin flame. I believe that twin flame relationships are grounded in the concept of love. No matter what happens on the spiritual journey, twin flames or soulmates have mutual respect. I believe twin flames both have to open their heart chakras to access the top 3 chakras. When all chakras are aligned then the connection strengths. This is just my basic belief, I have a lot more. All I know is I had a karmic relationship with someone who I thought was my twin flame. I was wrong but, that relationship pushed me to heal my attachments and abandonment issues. Recently I met someone who is very loving and kind. I was single for 3 years prior to meeting this person, all I know is we are very telepathic, empathic, and loving with each-other. This relationship has challenged me and pushed me to move past relationship traumas. Learning to trust and open up my heart again. I don’t know if they are a soulmate or twin flame. Truthfully, I don’t care to try and figure it out. I am on my own spiritual journey and I have someone who is kind and loving. I went down the twin flame rabbit hole and it drove me crazy. I laid it to rest and understand that no matter what I will be ok. Lastly, twinflames is a spiritual journey and it’s about me rebuilding my connection to my soul, the universe, and living my souls mission. Thank you again, this was very well put.

[Antiagingalchemy]

Oh boy, trauma bond.
Need to work on myself and live an authentic life. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[madhuryabalan]

Love and limerence - bring that to the forefront of mainstream conversations ! It's time

[jennyxiomara]

Yup it started for me in 2018 for me. It’s a Journey of self discovery and not one of having a partnership. It’s an inward exploration of your child wound as a pattern of reactions to your present situations. Finding the core of and understanding that it doesn’t have to define your reactions anymore. It woke me up in every way. And it taught me self love and unconditional love ❤️