Why You Can't Get Away From Your Toxic Ex

Dr. K’s Guide to Mental Health explores Anxiety, Depression, ADHD, and Meditation

#shorts #drk #mentalhealth

[kerolosaziz]

So what he's saying is i need to bring all my first dates Bungie jumping or our relationship is doomed 😅

[JaTirk]

Anyone wanna go on a rickety bridge date with me?😂

[emilyb]

Add to this that those of us who stay in these interactions/relationships have turbulent childhoods - the familiarity factor.

[cassandra]

In some situations this could be linked to "misattribution of arousal" than trauma bonding that happens in abuse. Like the bridge experiment, someone drinking caffeine may not associate their jitters to the caffeine buzz, but instead, to another sensation like anxiety. It could go either way tho. Someone on the rickety bridge may feel a connection with the other person but attribute it to fear.

[Iudicatio]

Honestly this explains why dating apps don't work. You take someone who you completely don't know, and usually the first date is a restaurant or coffee. And the only emotional turbulence you experience is constant rejection when the other person decides that something better might be out there, or scams. So of course emotional bonds rarely form.

[memlordnord]

I bet my ex wouldn't understand or believe this, I don't really associate with them in my life as much like, I've completely cut off communication and want to avoid them for betraying me and backstabbing me but for some reason they're still a thought that goes around in my head and it's honestly just annoying to me at this point

[jessIe]

Yeah that, plus I'm a masochist really.

[kemsatofficial]

Maybe red flags sometimes means something more like “difficult” instead of “avoid.”

[karimabushaikha]

I’m not sure how much I buy the conclusion you came to from the study. In the study, the negative emotions came from external factors. In toxic relationships, the negative emotion comes from that person specifically. These are very different things and I’m not sure we can connect the two without proof.

[jeramahia]

The extreme highs and lows is what causes addiction.

[sperez]

I think it is because when we felt danger, evolutionarily, we needed the people around us- our group, or tribe, to be there in order to prepare for, and survive said danger. I think that’s innate in our genes maybe. People have better chances of survival when facing difficult situations with other people.

(Also maybe related to our need for social connection, why we go insane in prolonged isolation, our fear of abandonment/shame, our desire for acceptance, and meaningful relationships connection with overall happiness.)

[lmklmk]

damn dude, I think thats what happened with me and my mom in our emotionally abusive "home". I genuinely thought that everything I felt was because I loved her, but after she died, I realize that I never miss her.

[lodagin]

That explains why nobody ever dates me, I'm not toxic nor i bring any type of uncertainty in the relationship lmao. Suffering from success over here

[SpiderJAAM]

Ah... The gray line between hate and love.

[Olympiann]

do you think there are parallels between this and high stress corporate jobs and relationships among employees (romantic or otherwise)

[ekysnoir]

yeah noticed it, bad circumstances make ppl bond.

[stephaniecohn]

I thought the study was about how adrenaline from fear can be confused in the body with excitement and attraction

[xxChacaronXX]

That’s why when you go to war you become brothers

[bonaaq]

This is literally going to watch a scary movie kind of thing

[CatDog.x]

what if they aren’t toxic at all, and neither was the relationship, other than the outside factors that made it painful for us because we couldn’t be together. and that feeling of not even getting that chance to be together bonded us. is that still considered a toxic relationship? neither of us hurt the other intentionally, and we treated each other like diamonds in the rough