My PERSONAL VTuber Story

My personal story before becoming a VTuber.

#harukakaribu #VTuber

[baovtuber]

Our precious Haruka. I’m so proud of your journey, we all are. Please watch over our amazing karibu with kind hearts everyone 💚☘️

[OtakuVs]

Respect for sharing something so personal 🖤

[rosedoodle]

Love you, Haruchii. 💖 Hella proud of you.

[GamingJamesGames]

Being diagnosed with Autism and ADHD, I was afraid that I would be that one off weirdo and occasionally still think that but after watching this video and looking through the comments section, I'm proud to be who I am and grateful to being part of this community. Thank you for everything Haruka!

[lucahjin]

So proud of you and love you heaps. You're a shining example of indomitable spirit and heart. 💘

[Teh_Hats]

From one Canadian childhood shunning recipient to another, I'm proud of you for hanging in there and finding joy in your life.

[TheNexan_]

Man. As someone diagnosed with ASD and Asperger's, this hits some type of way.
We love you, Haruka.

[sithknight]

This hit like a truck emotionally. Growing up as a kid, they mocked me and also exploited how gullible I was. I ended up just sticking by myself alone and having trust issues for most of my school years. I'm so happy for how far you've come

[TheIronArmenianakaGIHaigs]

That was a really sweet story and well put together with good art/animation and music.

[MrXMysteriousX]

That hit too many chords with me.I'm in my 30s, i'm a widower, and both myself and my son are Autistic too.

First let me say, how inspiring your story was.You clearly love your mother very much and have worked hard for what you have.

Secondly, i apologise now, what i wrote ended up being a huge wall of text.If anyones reading this please feel free to ignore me.

As i said, I had that same childhood for the most part, though i wasn't mute, i am pretty bad at talking, my words tripped over themselves and i often say completely wrong words, i stutter or stammer too, at times.
I still do, just not so badly now.

Thing is, Autism wasn't a common thing when i was a kid and i was never diagnosed until much later.Instead i was shunned as being weird and stupid and my only solace was gaming.

I loved it, I didn't have to be here, didn't have to be me. Didn't have to in the real world, i could go on grand adventures, instead of wondering what it was like to have a best friend.
I'd think about how much fun it might be to play football if i had friends, although the idea of speaking and socialising meant i found it equal parts wondrous and frightening.

I have huge problems speaking on phones, even now, mainly because of the uncertainty of where conversations are going and lacking visual feedback as to whether it was going well or not.
I still pre-plan out what i am going to say and have pre memorised answers to common questions that might come up.

As i said though, gaming was my haven but I know i'm probably way older than your average viewer so i need to explain that gaming in the 80s and some of the 90s was very different.For one it was pretty much a solitary affair, no multiplayer or online in most cases.How gaming was treated was different too.

I heard from my son recently that someone at his school got bullied for having a "basic skin" on Fortnight and i was surprised.
A kid bullied for "not gaming enough" or not paying for a
Of course i felt bad for the kid but my mind mused on how things had changed.
It made me think back to my childhood where i was bullied FOR playing games, which might be an alien concept to some.

Even the adults in my life would constantly say "Don't you think you are too old to play your Nintendo?"

I remember just flipping out every time when they tried taking it from me, stating "i'm too old for a childrens toy"
It was like taking away a piece of me.

In the end i won out, they just left me to my "obsession".Of course, over the years it became more and more accepted in society to game and in my later teens it meant i came across a few people who played too.
I had my issues but it meant i had something to talk to them about, something we had in common.

They were my first "friends", aquintances really, who likely felt me to be tiresome only speaking on gaming but humoured me, i finally felt "normal"

Unfortunately, one of them thought it would be funny to play a prank on me.They asked if they could come over and i said sure, i was real happy as we were going to play my new game with them.
I went to go grab snacks and drinks whilst leaving them in my room.

in there, they removed the fuse out of my plug to my ps2 and told me it must have got fried as it wouldn't turn on.

I was heartbroken.

They laughed at me for getting so worked up and threw the fuse at me and said "It's just a prank bro, just put that back in and it will work."

I snapped.

I punched him in the mouth and went ballistic.
It was wrong of me, but on that subject, as a teenage boy full of anger and testosterone....well i beat the crap out of him.
I know it was wrong it happened.

They both ended up fleeing and it'd be a long time till i ever had any male friends again, as i associated them with being mean spirited.

Over time, i overcame some elements i mentioned.I made many female friends at college and social interactions "brought me out of my shell" somewhat.

I'll skip ahead as this is long enough though.
I ended up getting a career in computer repair and maintenence which was responsible for me crossing paths with the wonderful woman who would eventually become my wife.

She was a force of nature and our relationship grew fast.
We moved in together having only dated for 4 weeks!
It was a terrible idea, it could have gone all wrong were madly in love and desperate to get our own place.
It's like we just knew it would work out....and it did.
We were made for each other.

A year later we made the decision to have a child and 9 months later he was born, our pride and joy.
A year after that we got married and we were trying for our second child when we both fell ill with Pneumonia.

She became gravely ill, due to lack of oxygen.She had 4 heart attacks on the way to a specialised hospital that had a device that could both breath for her and oxygenate and filter her blood.

She was a fighter though and survived.
She was put into a coma and didn't wake up for a month but in that time her lungs recovered enough.

She awoke, i was overjoyed, having never left her side, despite being seriously ill due to my own untreated Pneumonia.
That joy, turned to deep despair though.

She had suffered brain damage from the heart attacks.She was awake but....couldn't control her body.I'm not sure if she was aware or not.

But, there was a slim chance she'd recover.So i held on to that hope.

A few weeks later, she was showing signs of improvement.I finally was convinced she was ok enough that i could go sleep at home.

So i did.

That night, my house had a power cut and my mobile phone didn't charge.
When the hospital rang me, i didn't answer- my phone was dead.

At 4am, i awoke to shouting and the sound of rocks hitting my window.It was my parents.
They were contacted instead and had come for me.

I was told to rush to hospital with them.

By the time i got there, she'd died.U was shocked.I'd been told she was getting better.Turns out the brain damage was too severe.

A despair of a new kind hit me that day.After saying my goodbyes to her i went to my in laws, who were looking after my son, barely 2 years old.

My life was pretty much destroyed.To make matters worse my untreated Pneumonia got worse.I was eventually hospitalised for a month.I recovered, but i would have permanent lung damage.

Psychologically i had issues too.I couldn't sleep- i was traumatised. Even though i know logically it wasn't my fault, emotionally i blamed myself for not being there at the end, all because i was sleeping.

That issue, 12 years later, still plagues me.

But i had my son, and he needed me.So i pulled myself together as much as i could, given my situation and stepped up to plate to raise him.

My in laws and parents helped but i got there in the end.

When he was around 5 his school told me he was exhibiting signs of Autism, such as not holding eye contact and flapping his hands around when agitated and had a hyper focus on two subjects- gaming and Science.
It didn't seem odd to mesince i did those things too.
But i took him to a doc anyway.

So i took him to a specialist and it was there he was diagnosed.In we both were.

The doc noticed me having the same traits and a little while later i too was formally diagnosed.Turns out the boys of my family have a faulty gene that causes it.
I finally knew why i was so different.

Things would be different for my boy, i vowed.I have great appreciation for how things have moved on.My sons school had Teachers with training in how to handle autism.He had extra lessons and 1 hour per day he'd go have 1 on 1 sessions with a teacher.

In fact, sometimes i would be invited in to his school to aid in those lessons.

He was never alone, he even had a friend who was also Autistic who had worse speech problems but held the same interests.

I would even help out on School trips with the two of them.Partly because he had separation anxiety, likely as the result of having lost his mother but partly because we were all on the same wave length.

He has his own challenges and burdens and it's not been easy.But i made sure if nothing else, he knew he had me and that he wouldn't be alone.

He's a wonderful boy, a heart of gold.We differ in areas of our Autism though.
For example im very insular, a true introvert and at my age, happy to be amongst my thoughts.
Where as he essentially has no inner monologue whatsoever so speaks nearly EVERY thought he has.It causes issues at school but at home he can just let go.

It's nice to find other Autistic people out there and your story brought many of my own memories back to me.

I first came across Vtubers thanks to Cdawg being friends with Chris Broad- i love all things Japanese.

I started down the "rabbit hole" when Connor interviewed Calli and then saw him hanging out with Iron Mouse, who has gone through her own issues.
I liked their Chemistry and i appreciate a good laugh.
Comedy is a fav of mine and they are certainly funny.
From there i saw you on Mouses talk show and i also laughed my butt off at one of your Jackbox videos on a night where i couldn't sleep.
You were all playing together and just having so much fun, it was really entertaining.

Anyway if you or anyone else read this far, i thank you.
I wish you well Haruka and to anyone else, i wish you well too.

[Riley_Potato]

*cries uncontrollably*

hope ye dont have to feel like that ever again

[mistahjenkins]

I'm not autistic myself, but as someone with ADHD, I can tell you, it SUCKS being thought of as 'different' or as a 'freak'... It feels awful.
Glad ya stuck it out though. From one Canadian to another, I hope ya do well out there.

[jaycem]

As someone who has ADHD and Autism and Aspergers, i feel you. Thank you for everything you have done Haruka! We will love you no matter what!

[lennargon]

This hit so deep...even though I don't have autism as far as I know, I had no friends through middle an highschool after my childhood friends started to ignore me in 7th grade without ever talking to me again, even though we were in the same class until graduation. I'm now in the second year of university and wasn't able to make new friends because I forgot how to have friends and just feel better alone. I'm now starting to take sessions with a psychiatrist and hope to get my life on the right track again. This story really made me realize I have to do something. So thank you for all your great streams and braveness.

[alastorredgrave]

Speaking as someone with autism & aspergers, who wasn't diagnosed until well into high school, got to say this hit me right in the feels Haru...

I'm so glad that you were able to become the person you are today. Whether it's embarrassing to hear or not, you really are such a wonderful and inspiring person to many out there.

Whatever happens, just stay yourself Haru. Will continue to love and support your goofy green butt for many years to come! 💚💚💚💚

[Snobbygnu]

It wasn't until recently when Haruka joined VShoujo that I looked into her content. I watched videos with her collaborating with other VTubers but not her content itself. But then today I saw a comment pointing to this video and.. well it hit home. I don't have autism but my brother two years younger does. Everything in this video hit home, he went through the same things, all while I tried my best to watch over him as the big brother I am. As I still do today. Honestly, it's so inspiring seeing stuff like these, from so many VTubers. All the different challenges each has that they have overcome and the success they have today. Especially seeing Haruka, a VTuber that is both a fellow Canadian and with something that is so close and dear to my own heart. One day I want to embark on the VTuber path too, to be able to reach out to others with my own stories and personality and to build a community that is as supportive and more than the ones I see so many of today. Maybe I'll get there, maybe I won't. But I know that each time I press that live button and am able to interact with those few viewers who stop by, I know I'm putting my all into hopefully making their day just a little bit better. Another and I think the most inspiring VTuber in the back of my mind all while I do so 🥰❤️

[dailydoseofharuka]

Takes strength to share this with us fans. I hope that streams are even more enjoyable for you now knowing that your fans accept you for who you are. Proud of you and best of luck with all your goals ☘️☘️☘️

[zofotoziggy]

When I was a kid, I was friends with several kids with autism or other learning disabilities, and never really understood why to treat them any different, even if it took a little more effort to communicate with them.

I'm so glad to see you've made so many friends since those days, as you deserve it all and more

[nickster_xd]

I have Asperger’s Syndrome (High Functioning Autism), and I can relate to some of this. The loneliness, how others perceive you, the social exclusion, not understanding others, people not understanding you; it hurts. But I have friends who also have Aspergers and I’m still moving foreword.
Its good to see someone doing the same. 👍

[AezyAezrael]

As someone diagnosed with Autism and Asperger's at a very young age. This story really hit home on a personal level. I'm really proud of you, for telling your story. Much Love Haruka