Get new phone - A Greentext Story

Get new phone
Boot first time
No

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[crispyandspicy]

>reads throrough all the Terms and Conditions
>clicks "i don't agree"

[CreativityCurve]

It's comforting to know that even a cosmically powerful chad is still bound by the chains of Whatsapp to interact with family

[RandomGuyOnTheInternet]

This guy says "deinstall" instead of uninstall that's how you know he's unhinged

[worldcomicsreview]

>Buy completely normal phone.
>Use in completely normal way.
>Plug it into charger beside bed, turn off light.
>Play it a CD of heavy, even breathing, occasional snore.
>Sneak out, rob bank, sneak home.
>Creep into room, slip into bed in a way that just sounds like turning over in your sleep.
>Wake up, unplug, continue to be a normie.
>Never even be suspected.

[Aymelia-colon]

> Fake your death
> Forge new documents
> Get plastic surgery
> Start your new life in Europe
> Repeat every time you buy a new phone.

Problem, FBI, NSA, CIA?

[Ridesomware]

"Hmmm today I won't allow google to spy on me"

[alexanderrahl]

>pops an adderall
>decides to actuallt read the terms and conditions
"Oh my god..."
>dont accept

[Handinmapocket]

The guys at Qualcom with kernel acces spying on him through direct hardware acces to the receiver: "Lol, look at this tryhard."

[jking]

The Chad voice saying " *No* " makes it the more better, 100/10.

[dusannestorovic]

I still have a feeling that Google has the ability to track him even with all of their software flashed from the phone lol

[zaidlacksalastname]

He forgot to delete 8 preinstalled games

[SwedishmafiaMemeCorporation]

This is why I exclusive communicate through smoke signals as taught to me by the eldest among the Navajo people.

[multiagustin]

Man, remember when we were the owners of our devices?

[SpookSkellington]

Still dont trust any of it.

That's why i've been training carrier pidgeons for 4 years now.
Everything is covered in shit and half my birds are already dead from flying into windows, but honestly it's worth.

[masterofdesaster]

In case anyone is interested, German company "Shift" offers a reasonably specced smartphone without restricting their warranty to any pre-installed OS. For their upcoming model they even intend to include hardware kill-switches for cameras and microphones, in an effort to improve privacy.

[creeperbomb]

Bruh when he went to OEM unlock i was like "damn he about to root immediately" lmao

[GrandSupremeDaddyo]

I thought this was going to end with a punchline but it is legit just the diary of a gigachad.

[AndrewAce.]

I like to imagine he was actually going to go through with the set-up process as normal until he became incensed and disillusioned by the rampant corporate and technological harassment...

[SnipingIsAGoodJobMate]

then he accidentally uses the google browser, undoing all his effort in a mere second

[CountShasha]

The power behind that DEINSTALL, I felt that