Meri saas tang karti hain.....Dealing with a difficult mother in law

#toxicrelationships #motherinlaw #relationshipadvice

Recently a woman wrote to me about how she's finding it difficult to deal with her mother-in-law.

"My mother-in-law constantly belittles me, criticizes me and puts me down. Nothing I do is good enough for her," she wrote.

"My husband is just a quiet obedient son & refuses to stand up for me. I'm not financially independent. What should I do?"

In this video, I discuss a few ways in which this woman can manage her responses and attitude toward her mother in law.

[DrMeghnaTheTherapistMommy]

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[aishwaryadeshpande]

Thank you for this. I had a terrible day yesterday. My mother in law started crying yesterday. This is what happened: I had put vegetables in the cooker. And went to the living room. The cooker sarted whistling (while she was in the kitchen). she called me out and I answered back I am coming. When I got to the kitchen she said she was calling out to which I replied that I also said I am coming u did not hear it. To this she said I could not hear due to whistles. I said ok. Then she said I did not know what was in cooker. I said I put vegetables when you were standing right besides me, I thot u knew it. That's it! I went out of the kitchen. And then my husband calls me out and says mom is crying because you back answered her!!! I literally slapped myself with disbelief and anger and frustration....I feel like banging my head because my mil can get offended about anything and feel like running away and never coming back to this place

[niveditabhattacharjee]

It took 14 years to understand gray rock method. Unknowingly I started applying that. Thanks to your video that I got to know this term. I have applied all the methods to my MIL. Now I had to skip the forgiving part. Because I am tired of her high end manipulations. She never leaves any stone unturned just to hurt me. I am stuck with a narcissist. She manipulates even house helps against me. Mentally I am just tired of running away from her. I am scared of her. She is a cold rock.

[gautamijadhav]

I am exactly doing the same thing as you mentioned in the video and trust me i am happy keeping distance and keeping conversation to the minimum with her(mil) and helped me lot instead of being with her i distract myself with watching videos or reading books...I am in peace now... 🙌

[saptaparneechaudhuri]

MIL poisoned my husband against me and convinced him to believe that I am his emotional and financial burden. I know as long as I stay with my husband, she wont give him any peace. Hence I decided to move to my parents house and would try my best to become financially independent. To me my independence and self respect is priority. Time is a healer they say. Perhaps it will heal the marriage sometime in future. If it doesn’t, it will hurt me greatly but eventually I have to keep moving forward for my parents’ sake and also myself.

[Justafriend]

Actually my mother always used to find faults in my bhabhi, and i also took sides with my mother blindly but my bhabhi one day taught my mother a good lesson and now me and my bhabhi never allow her to criticize unnecessarily
Actually my bhabhi is an independent girl, at first I used to think my bhabhi is agressive and dominating but later I realised that it that my mother used to snatch her freedom to do anything like going out for work, wearing pants and shirt, talking to her friends and even criticized her for less dowry
Not making food all the tree times, so later i realise that the dominating nature of my bhabhi is infact a good thing to teach a selfish lady as my mother
So yes my bhabhi is a bit short tempered, she is a bit vocal and confident but she was not wrong and now she has no one against her as i fully support her, i mean how can i not support her, she changed my perspective towards women, opened my eyes and now each time she really give my mother a hard time whenever she pokes in her personal life

[dr.shoaibparvez]

I wonder why many mother in laws are like this. It's also very unfortunate even men and women both have to face this these days 😂.

[sumaiyashaikh]

Maine aapka video dekhne se pehle hi ye sab kuch try kiya meri saas ne fir bhi mujhe itna torcher kiya ke mai apne bete ko bataungi tum bilkul baat nahi karti humre Kismat hi kharab thi ke hum sochte bahu ke aane se ghar me khushi hogi unho ne mujhe sab ke saamne disripect kiya mujh pe jhoote allegation lagaye mujhe unse nafrat si hogayi hai mai ne unke liye shadi se pehle bhi bohat kuch kiya ek waqt me mujhe unse bohat mohabbat thi even apni maa se bhi zyada par aaj me unko face bhi nahi karna chahti.

[SANYUKTATAMBE-fnqx]

I did this n i did please other womens follow this same u will be happy i swear i hope all those womens who r suffering frm this will get more happy one good luck 😘

[ankitakhedekarsane]

After reading so much of comments now i understand i m not the only person there are sm other womens also facing such problems. Feeling stable and calm after reading all experiences comparing mine. I m going through depression because of mother in laws behaviour. Today i just searched on youtube and i got my remedy which any psychologist can't understand and cure. Thank you so much to all these ladies to share their experiences and thank you dr meghna ji for this motivational video❤

[sportsfoodlovers]

Exactly the same things my MIL doing with me. Thankfully I am working woman but my work is remote work and I do my office work from home. I have my sister in law (Devrani) she just gave a birth to baby. My mother in law everytime tried to down myself. I have seen she do the partially between me and my Devrani. She always praised her. When me and husband argue with eachother she always interfare. I always afraid because She always instigates my husband against me.

[zareenakhtar]

This is what I had been trying to do - to try and stay aloof and now she complains to my husband that I don't talk to her much and that I don't put much effort in building the relationship😂

[meetchaudhary]

Bhut acha aur sahi bola aapne Phele baar kisi lady ne bilkul perfectly ❤❤ U r so intelligent and educated lady. ... Thank you so much mam❤🎉

[mayageorge]

Just cut her off a d live separately with your husband . Stand up women for yourself . Husbands mother had come abroad to stay with us for months . Mentally tortured a pregnant lady . My husband didn’t take a stand . I left the house . And came back when they left . Now my husband learnt a lesson and tries to keep his mother and me as far as possible . Not only that she blocked my way and didn’t allow me to go out . I called the police complaints against her and stayed in a refuge

[ShrutiPantBanerjee]

Dear women...
You all are lovely and beautiful and very much self sufficient. There is nothing in the world that a woman cannot achieve. BE FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT. You all have your own parents to look after, your own beautiful lives. Care for those who value you, and distance yourself from those who don't value your individuality. Instead of staying in an unhappy marriage and dragging the relationship its better to realise the worth of our own lives, be financially independent and serve the country and others who most need it. Make a difference and remember we have every power to make the world a beautiful place. Please don't suffer.... Your life is precious, you are precious!!

[pinazbharucha]

Its high time women learn to fight for themselves and defend their self respect...Nothing and no one is worth taking any form of abuse..sometimes you have to roar to make the enemy deaf 😅..If Mil is good n nice respect and love her by all means, but if she is torturing you do not take it lying down..what you tolerate will continue and no change will come. ..Married for 5 years n I don't give a rats ass if my husband's family likes me or not..But husband's support is very important without that it can be difficult and girls please speak to ur own family and don't hide from them .❤love n best wishes to all the tortured souls called "Daughter in laws"

[Divinemagic]

Meri to MIL ne meri shadi hi tudwa di. Mere pati ko mere itne khilaf kar diya ki meri delivery ke 4th day hi pati chhod ke chla gya. Wo isi din ka intezar kar rahi thi or usne ye kar dikhaya. Pta nhi kya milta hai in MIL ko ye sab karke or apne hi bete ka ghar ujaad ke.

[Nav.creation]

Aisi mother in law meri bhi Hain or har baat PE jhooth bolna jasoosi karna sabki or sabko Shak ki nigah se dekhna garibo ko nokar samjhna buri tareeke se pesh ana ...even apne husband se bhi unki banti nahi or mere husband ko bhi manipulate karti Hain or agr vo sach ka sath dete hain to unko bhi sabki Nazar me gira deti Hain or emotional drama or fir nay jhooth ready ...jisse ki ghar ka mahol boht kharab hai ....or do beto me partiality karti hain ..mujhe samjh nhi ata mai deal kaise karoon... jaha meri soch khatm ho jati h waha se unka dimag chalna start hota h itna shatir dimag h ..

[karishmarao]

Log bolte hain ye maa baap se alg hogae jinhone itna kra pr ye nhi sochte k itna majbur krdia jata hai unhe alg hone k lie agr wo ache se reh le to koi kisi k lie bhoj nhi hoga sb mil jul k itne pyr se rhenge wo kyu nhi sochte thori umar reh hai aram se reh lo

[rockeybhai]

Same mother in law am staying...every morning I wake up & cry...and going to work
Same thing repeat next day....my husband isn't taking any stand