Practical Tips For Overcoming Trauma & The Power Of Resilience | George Bonanno

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00:00 Intro
1:20 Are You Really Traumatized?
16:37 What’s Wrong WIth Psychology Today?
20:44 How To Overcome Trauma
26:00 Repressing Memories
29:05 Emotional Trauma Causing Physical Symptoms / Psychosomatic Stress
47:52 Getting Over Breakups / Coping Mechanisms
54:23 Addressing His Controversy
57:55 Resiliency
1:05:20 Post-Traumatic Growth
1:11:30 Addressing His Controversy Pt. 2
1:15:27 PTSD
1:20:15 Fixing Modern Psychology
1:25:03 My Trauma
1:28:25 Social Media

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Executive Producer: Doctor Mike
Production Director and Editor: Dan Owens
Managing Editor and Producer: Sam Bowers
Editor and Designer: Caroline Weigum
Editor: Juan Carlos Zuniga

* Select photos/videos provided by Getty Images *

** The information in this video is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. All content, including text, graphics, images, and information, contained in this video is for general information purposes only and does not replace a consultation with your own doctor/health professional **

[doctor.duckworth]

As a trauma and PTSD researcher in cognitive neuroscience, this has been one of the most important and nuanced discussions on trauma I’ve seen among the pop culture discourse on trauma. It’s so important to distinguish between discomfort, and trauma, and PTSD (which all have different neurophysiological mechanisms & psychological manifestations). I would love to see an interview with Bessel Van der Kolk and also Gabor Mate about their theories on trauma vs what the evidence says. I also think it’s so important that the general public understand the difference between theory, hypothesis, and evidence based practice. The line of these are frequently blurred in the trauma space.

[eloisepharmacist]

My interpretation of the "body keeps the score" is in regards babies and children who experience abuse and trauma before they are forming cognitive memories they will remember into adulthood. They experience all the cortisol and body stress and learn to adapt to stay safe etc. They get to being older and can't remember, but then end up with hypervigilence, attachment disorde, anxiety etc.

[Ntjidzi-Saviour]

I love when he answers Dr. Mike's questions with "I don't know" or when he states he's not familiar with a certain topic.

[lilymoy]

First off, huge props to Dr. Mike for maintaining civil discourse and being able to respectfully challenge conflicting ideas. This was a provocative discussion and I really enjoyed hearing all the differing perspectives.

I think the idea was there, but the words "personal responsibility" confused the point. One cannot necessarily "choose" to be better or feel a certain way, but overdiagnosing trauma and mental illness in general can potentially induce feelings of loss of control or personal autonomy. I like the obesity example Dr. Mike used; it is a true struggle, and what led you to become obese may be factors not entirely in your control, but it's important to maintain and foster a sense of autonomy--that your body is yours, and you can eventually rise past what is ailing you, perhaps with outside help.

I think what he is trying to warn against here is a feeling that we are broken--that our thoughts and behaviours are irreparable, and that our negative experiences are something that we cannot escape or move beyond. Overdiagnosing trauma and creating a hypersensitivity around all negative experiences can potentially lead to feeling overwhelmed by such experiences, feeling permanently damaged by them rather than being able to grow from them. I have struggled with my own actual trauma, and am slowly learning to detach myself from it as an 'identity'. I don't deny what happened to me, but it does not define me, and I do not want it to control how I live and feel. On the other hand, I have also struggled with events that deeply affected me and left me with lingering thoughts and feelings, but labelling them as "traumatic" would be inappropriate. In the past, in my experience, overthinking and dwelling on such experiences has magnified feelings of stress and anxiety I've had regarding the events, when acknowledging them as normal life stressors often puts me more at ease in dealing with them.

All that being said, some events go above and beyond being able to be called "normal life stressors", and his definition of what qualifies as a PTE is very nebulous. Recognizing that something had a lasting, negative effect on you is often the first step to learning to grow from it. We should not label everything negatively impactful as "traumatic", but we must also recognize that acknowledging trauma is an important first step before any growth can happen.

[nadineo]

As a severe trauma survivor, and my fellow cptsd survivors in my groups hate this book and this guy. He said people can't suppress the memory and then have symptoms later. I have experienced this exact thing he said doesn't exist. I have cptsd. I am legally disabled from it. I suppressed memories...so many. I had a memory resurface during IFS therapy. The body keeps the score explains what happens well. I kept getting severe anxiety while laying down. Nothing around me would be happening and then all of a sudden I would have a freeze response caused by severe anxiety. I would feel like I was being smothered like something really big. I had a suspicion all my life that my dad was a bad person but I didn't have any of those memories.... It was just a feeling. Then I told my mom about my suspicion about my dad and then told her about this crushing sensation I would get physically and it would send me into a trauma response. She told me that when I was a little toddler, my dad would lay right on top of me when I was a toddler when kissing me goodnight. I started connecting the dots and memories started coming back that I can't talk about and my body would have physical reactions. I literally dissociate to this day. The stuff this guy is saying is giving me anxiety because it feels like he is denying my experience.

[moodywrites]

I honestly think that pinning all of someone getting better on their personal responsibility is not acknowledging that humans are impacted by their environment. Effort alone cannot overcome everything. Someone can be actively taking responsibility and still struggling. Poverty is a huge example of that.

[Rechtauch]

My grandma had her father killed when she was 9 during the Spanish Civil War. She never got profesionnal support, of course, but she went on to live a normal life, with the occasional telling the story to the grandkids. She is turning 100 this year and her brain is not what it used to be: she spends her days crying for the father who was killed 90+ years ago and imagining his sons have been arrested. My grandpa (from the other side) spent three years in prison at 20, with 2 death sentences hanging on his head, suffering forced labour and not knowing if/when he would be killed. He was eventually freed and went on to live a full live: he died at 83 and the only thing he would talk about during his last days was prison. I have the feeling trauma does catch up 😞

[TheFluttershy]

Hi CASA Volunteer here. I work with kids in the foster care system. The characterization of trauma informed care rings false. There is a strong focus on resilience and creating space for kids to talk about their experiences. Giving the kids agency is hugely important.

[RatchelRach]

One of the big problems with everything being called trauma these days is that it can make actual trauma survivors question themselves. Like "oh I'm probably just over exaggerating, this isn't actually trauma" or "this trauma isn't as bad as I think it is". I speak from experience

[kitnfall]

Thank you Dr. Mike for this calm, informative, and respectful conversation. Professor Bonanno brought lots of valid points that challenged some of my beliefs, and at the same time I don't agree with some of his opinions, which is very natural. Instead of a polarizing debate focusing on who's right and wrong, this was a interview focusing on sharing knowledge for the better good. Excited for more interviews.

[OpinionatedLittleBrat-qrkb]

I experienced prolonged trauma (child SA age 9-13) and remember so many people trying to sympathise with me over the *fact* my life was ruined. But, my life isn't ruined. I've been affected by what happened and some things are still being affected, but many parts of my life are good. Survivors shouldn't be told their life is over or won't ever be the same. You can regain the trust and wonder and innocence and decide to pursue good.

[dolly]

What he describes as distraction is actually tools in trauma informed care called a safety plan and self care plan. Not doing destructive activities but things that can make you less stressed and take you out of your current state of mind.

[kristineharris]

I find it very odd that trauma informed care is seen this way by him. As an RN I have taken trauma informed care to be about avoiding triggers, speaking with therapist about their recommendations for patient care, and getting the patient involved! Definitely not avoiding the topic, but allowing the patient to have a voice, feel heard, and take steps to allow them to have informed choices in their care that supports their individual needs regarding triggers/trauma.

[jsink]

I really appreciate how informed this professor is regarding resilience and epidemiological research. These points (which are well documented among the scientific literature) are often overlooked by society and even the clinical world.

However, as a clinician and budding trauma-researcher, I have to point out that many of these adjacent points about repression, trauma-informed care, and the subjective experience of trauma are ill-informed, fringe, or plainly wrong. Simultaneously, these are also the points where he does not interact with the scientific literature.

[juliaorpheus]

People who experienced childhood trauma are far more vulnerable to PTSD as adults. So, if six people witness a car crash and two experience PTSD from the crash and three do not, a major factor to determine who will develop PTSD is "did you have a traumatic childhood". Also, a strong social support network impacts recovery from a potentially traumatizing event.' A safe childhood and a strong support network isn't something that can be "taught" to the 1/3 of people who develop PTSD. The danger in the arguments presented here is that it overemphasizes the term "resilience" in PTSD when "resilience" is simply having the privilege of having a solid support system and a childhood that wasn't shaped by persistent and ongoing traumatic events.

I think people get angry about the kinds of arguments presented here because it implies that there's something morally inferior in people who succumb to PTSD and their lack of resilience is shameful and even voluntary to some extent. I agree that the overuse of the term "trauma" is harmful, but I think more harm comes from conversations like this that lack nuance and reinforce the "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" method of recovery which isn't possible a large percentage of people who experience potentially traumatic events.

Also what about the ACES study? I don't see how a medical doctor can have a discussion about trauma without mentioning this research that links childhood trauma to adult onset illness regardless of lifestyle choices. That research is solid, with a HUGE sample size studies over the course of 20 years. I'm very happy to listen to critical takes on trauma, but I don't think this conversation was very helpful.

[zarathest]

The people I know who truly are suffering because of their trauma do take responsibility for their healing, but still get told they're "playing the victim" or that their trauma isn't "real trauma". This is such a complicated issue.

[milomoon]

I absolutely love this take on post traumatic growth! It is very pressuring. Like no. I am not responsible to be a better human than the average just because I overcame trauma. I’m already incredible for surviving.

[benzeboy]

Hey Dr. Mike, I'm a new grad RN and long-time fan. I hear you say your definitions of Trauma Informed Care (TIC), and I believe you both were exposed to an uncharitable view of TIC that isn't widespread, and I agree would be unworkable. In my understanding, education, and the general culture in the hospital field of Trauma Informed Care, I'd summarize it as:
"Anyone may hold trauma, and in the intimate and vulnerable context of healthcare, that trauma may cause a variety of types of inflammation. Therefore, avoid engaging in conduct that is unnecessarily likely to be inflammatory, and be sure to watch for signs of that type of inflammation, and reconsider your approach if you do." That is much more workable and true to the theory as I've experience/learned/used it, as opposed to the theory we are all may have trauma we "don't know about or don't want to talk about" which would lead to a sort of "walking on egg-shells" approach to care. Good discussion otherwise, thanks!

[nancyferguson]

There is so much invalidating and dismissing trauma

[annabelapurva-madhuri]

Therapist (mental health social worker) here. I appreciate the intention to have a nuanced discussion and he did make some good points, however many of them are point blank flawed and even out of touch