EXPOSING the Toilet Paper Industry

The toilet paper industry has been confusing people (like me) for years now. "We're 4x more absorbent than the competitors! Our roll lasts twice as long as the leading bargain brand! Rub it on your face or we're gonna freak out!"

I wanted to do my own research and compare as many different types of toilet paper as I could to see who really is the best. Length, absorbency, effectiveness at TPing someone's house, we're testing it all today. Enjoy!

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SECOND CHANNEL

0:00 I'm confused by toilet paper
2:19 Shopping
4:43 Length Test
7:59 Absorbency
12:05 TP Someone's House
16:14 Wipe Test
18:09 Softness
21:20 Cost & Other Stuff
22:30 Which is best?

#ScottCramer

[KnowingBetter]

We need a follow up test where you stack the Scott brand up 100 sheets high to see just how many sheets 5 drops would bleed through.

[kaitlyncook]

I just love how your kid is just gonna vaguely remember the time daddy rolled out a bunch of toilet paper on the lawn.

[Feroste]

I was beginning to think this wasn't a very scientific test, then I saw the TP throw test and all my worries were quelled.

[blakdeth]

The weirdest part about the Charmin bears is that there's 3 completely separate yet strangely similar families of toilet paper obsessed bears. Red bears who like stronger stuff. Blue bears who rub the soft stuff on their face. Then brown bears for the rest. Either that or the entire family changes color based on the toilet paper currently in their house. I hate those bears.

[auroramcbride]

I grew up super poor with a penny pincher dad so I'm horrifyingly familiar with the hell that is Scott brand toilet paper. My brother and I would always joke that it was the 80s action star of toilet paper because it was rough, tough and didn't take sh*t from nobody

[leeleeh]

I have to use Scott because the pipes in my house are old, small, and clog easily. I'm pretty sure they're marked as septic safe too. I couldn't imagine someone willingly using it unless they have in extreme fondness for public bathroom toilet paper.

[pandapntz]

So, as a long time user of Scott, I'll explain why I waste my money on it; it's not about the absorbency, it's about what it doesn't leave behind. Yes, I have to use more, but it leaves no toilet paper dingleberries or fuzz. The super soft toilet papers leave behind so much fuzz and debris, I don't feel clean. And honestly, a roll of Scott lasts me forever, even tho I use more per wipe, it somehow balances out. Also, whenever I'm forced to buy something other than Scott, it seems like my toilet clogs up super easily, that Charmin & Quilted Northern is just too soft and too thick.

[chellyengert]

So for the Scott brand you said "there's no practical use for this" because honestly it does seem awful, but FUN FACT it is the top recommended brand for homes with septic systems because it will actually dissolve in the septic tank instead of turning into a big wad in the tank. Maybe this information will be useful to someone. *flies away*

[tekoghet]

Fun fact the Scott brand is typically meant for campers/rvs/houses with bad pipes because they dissolve so easily :)) that way they don't stick to the sides of the pipe or tanks

[Carlyndra™]

YouTube algorithm: hey here's a guy exposing toilet paper
Me: oh okay yeah

[yvechapman]

Storytime: so I am scarred for life by Charmin. I will not buy any toilet paper with the word "strong" on it because when I read that word on a package my eye starts twitching and my cheeks clench in self defense. How this happened is when my husband and I first got married we were broke. Broke broke. Like crying in the checkout line counting pennies for a loaf of bread broke. We needed toilet paper one day and it was snowing and the busses weren't running so we had to buy from the gas station we could walk to. All they had was a four pack of Charmin Ultra Strong. I get this shiz home and open it and I was dumbfounded. You're not kidding about it being paper towels. I'm totally convinced that it's just cheap paper towels they buy and slice down into thirds and resell. That stuff will sand the paint off your car. And we were stuck with it cause we had NO money to buy a different brand until payday. Worst $6 I ever spent. We literally had to dampen it with water before using it.

[andrewneedham]

Here's a complete summary of the video

*Length*
1. Scott - 1000 sheets (~333 feet)
2. Charmin Strong - 451 sheets (~150 feet)
3. Costco (Kirkland Signature) - 380 sheets (~127 feet)
4. Angel Soft - 320 sheets (~107 feet)
5. Cottonelle - 312 sheets (~104 feet)
6. Walmart (Great Value) - 286 sheets (~95 feet)
7. Quilted Northern - 284 sheets (~94 feet)
8. Charmin Ultra Strong - 264 sheets (~88 feet)
9. Sam's Club (Member Mark) - 235 sheets (~78 feet)

Length was found by taking the number of sheets (found online) and using the standard of 4 inches per sheet to calculate the length

*Absorbency*
1. Charmin Ultra Strong - 4 sheets
2. Walmart (Great Value) - 4 sheets
3. Sam's Club (Member Mark) - 4 sheets
4. Cottonelle - 4 sheets
5. Angel Soft - 6 sheets
6. Quilted Northern - 6 sheets
7. Costco (Kirkland Signature) - 6 sheets
8. Charmin Strong - 7 sheets
9. Scott - 10+ sheets

*Throwing*
1. Cottonelle
2. Costco (Kirkland Signature)
3. Angel Soft
4. Scott
5. Charmin Ultra Strong
6. Quilted Northern
7. Walmart (Great Value)
8. Sam's Club (Member Mark)
9. Charmin Strong

*Wiping*
N/A

*Softness*
1. Cottonelle
2. Walmart (Great Value)
3. Costco (Kirkland Signature)
4. Angel Soft
5. Quilted Northern
6. Sam's Club (Member Mark)
7. Charmin Strong
8. Charmin Ultra Strong
9. Scott

*Price*
1. Sam's Club (Member Mark) - ~$0.51 per roll
2. Angel Soft - ~$0.66 per roll
3. Costco (Kirkland Signature) - ~$0.76 per roll
4. Charmin Strong - ~$0.87 per roll
5. Scott - ~$0.89 per roll
6. Walmart (Great Value) - ~$0.96 per roll
7. Cottonelle - ~$1.08 per roll
8. Quilted Northern - ~$1.11 per roll
9. Ultra Strong - ~$1.14 per roll

Prices for all the brands were found by taking the price on the Walmart website for a pack of 12 rolls. Except Sam's Club which was only found in packs of 45.

*Scott's Decision*
1. Costco (Kirkland Signature)
2. Walmart (Great Value)
3. Quilted Northern

*Calculated Overall Scores*
1. Costco (Kirkland Signature) - 19
2. Angel Soft - 22
Cottonelle - 22
4. Walmart (Great Value) - 25
5. Sam's Club (Member Mark) - 31
6. Scott - 32
7. Charmin Strong - 34
Quilted Northern - 34
9. Charmin Ultra Strong - 35

Overall scores were calculated by adding up the ranking of each brand for each category. A score of 4 was given to every brand for the Scott's Decision except for the top 3 which got a score of 1, 2, and 3. The lower the total score, the better the ranking.

[oozma]

I’m starting to believe Charmin created the Scott brand. It’s so perfectly rough, thin, and unabsorbent that I can’t think anyone in the right mind could’ve created it. Having this brand to compare to during a commercial would be a blessing

[rbwd]

It would have been nice to see some charts at the end, showcasing where each brand fell in each category so that we could make our own comparisons and decisions.

[Lau-pryw]

We use Scott due to sewer issues. The constant roast of Scott throughout this video was hilarious 😂

[OneTopic]

now i see why we had a *TP shortage* 😡

[sarah-qzoh]

scott is the only person i trust to track down the fifth dentist

[karynstudiosloane-ceramics]

Also I love how Scott is made by Kimberly-Clark Corporation that also owns Cottonelle so they're just comparing themselves to... themselves

[ToxicWaffle]

I exclusively used Scott growing up and honestly… I am grateful. Why? Because in a college dorm now and as someone who was not *spoiled* with plush Toilet paper I’m thriving with the dorm bathrooms

[ErinLastNameRedacted]

This reminds me of how “sensitive skin” shaving creams claim they’re so good…but then you look at the fine print and they’re only comparing themselves to shaving with soap. Yeah, of course it’s better than soap. Compare it to other shaving creams!