How Do I Love My Body Anyway?

How Do I Love My Body Anyway?

Learn how to change your thoughts, change your behaviors, and change your life. Subscribe to the Dr. John Delony’s show!

As heard on this episode:

Get John’s Questions for Humans Conversation Cards:

These platforms contain content, including information provided by guests, that is intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. The content is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional medical, counseling, therapeutic, financial, legal, or other advice. The Lampo Group, LLC d/b/a Ramsey Solutions as well as its affiliates and subsidiaries (including their respective employees, agents and representatives) make no representations or warranties concerning the content and expressly disclaim any and all liability concerning the content including any treatment or action taken by any person following the information offered or provided within or through this show.

If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional advice, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified professional expert and specialist. If you are having a health or mental health emergency, please call 9-1-1 immediately.

Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

[TexasAlabama]

"You can't hate your body into better shape" WOW that really hit home with me.

[asack]

Merlanda sounds like a wonderful person and a friend I’d love to have.

[fandomsever]

Something that’s helped me feel more positive at the gym is reminding myself that I’m lucky to have 2 arms and 2 legs that work and that I get to use. I GET to go to the gym. I don’t HAVE to.

[Girlgonewise]

I get it…you don’t need to love this body. You have to love yourself enough to get the body that you will love.

[corvidaemoon]

As a fat girl myself. Saying sorry is something so painfully real. We are sorry for existing, at least that's how I feel. So saying sorry is as breathing for me.

[xbjrrtc]

My dad told me, repeatedly, I was "big as a house" starting when I was around 8. Still working through therapy on that one.

I was actually afraid to invite him to my wedding because I didn't know if he'd make negative comments and make me feel ugly on my wedding day.

Parents and other caretakers have to realize that shaming children or mocking them doesn't make them thinner or healthier. It teaches them to hate themselves and feel that they (literally) can never measure up.

[neolithic]

Your body does incredible things for you: it allows you to see, speak, hear, breathe, walk, hold things, feel the hug of a loved one, move to the sound of your favourite song, keep you warm/cool on hot/cold days, taste amazing foods, and a million other things that we all take for granted.

It may not look as you wish it to but keep trying to remember all the good it does for you. You are a team with your body, it's not the enemy. If losing weight is a goal, do so with appreciation and love for your body and health rather than trying to hate yourself thinner.

[Mrs.TJTaylor]

Love is not a feeling, it’s a behavior. You “love” your body by making it healthy.

[hushingsilence]

Things that helped my Mom a *lot*. We didn't go to the gym. We started exploring Botanical Gardens, Easy hiking trails. We started looking for things like bird feathers or unusual pine cones. That made moving our bodies fun, interesting. Do 15 minutes a day. Every other day. Fall off a few days? No problem, go on another little hike. Learning to love yourself is a process. It's ok to feel bad, but treat yourself as gently as possible. You deserve to occupy your place in life the same as everyone else. You deserve to live your life as happy as you can. It's YOUR life. Do the best you can to make it a good one.

Hugs.

[CharletteG]

You can love your body while NOT liking how it looks, out of love you make better choices everyday to get your body to a healthy state. So much pressure in society to “pretend” you love your body even when you feel like crap, feeling like crap doesn’t equal love! Make the small changes, don’t think you have to drastically change everything at once, one thing at a time and you WILL see changes.

[jeanneadams]

OMG... Merlanda you are amazingly courageous for bringing this topic to Dr John. I'm 56 years old and have felt this way my entire life! The horrible part for me is I wasn't overweight as a kid or in high school, I just physically developed earlier that most my age at the time. But I believed my family and siblings calling me fat and I became a closet eater so I could eat in peace without being called horrible names.
I still have horrible self talk, which I'm working hard to stop and this episode is helping me tremendously.
Thank you, Dr. John you are awesome and I wish I knew about this podcast when it first started in 2020, I just started listening in 2024. 😊

[meiwa]

I needed this. Thank you merlanda for being brave enough to do this call ❤️ I've hated myself much of my life too. So much of what you said resonated within me. It's so so so hard to confront the fact that you just wish you were someone else and finally feel of worth. I'm highly successful in life: married, beautiful son, amazing job that I was in training for literally over a decade. I accomplished my dreams but even here, I'm still me and deep down I still just don't like me much of the time and it really is so so so exhausting.

[ek]

She broke my heart for real.
I’ve fulfilled some seriously tough goals in my life, after all I’ve done I still consider weight control number one of my list. The worst part is that unlike other addictions you can’t quit food, you have to indulge but not too much. It’s just a hot mess. I truly feel for what she’s going through.

[gmbiasco]

100% needed - thank you for being open and vulnerable. So many of us struggle with this issue every day and it almost ALWAYS feels like we're alone in the struggle. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL and an AMAZING person. YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS <3

[Sylveonny]

merlanda is me. this felt like you were talking to me dr john and it was very helpful. thankyou to dr john and also to merlanda for sharing her story.

[whitney]

A major first step was saying out loud how she feels about herself and her body. I can't emphasize enough how big of a step in the right direction that is. Merlanda (I hope I spelled your name right 😬), you will do great things, including learning to love yourself while learning to take care of your physical health. I have the highest confidence you have the power to change your self-perception. I have been through the same negative mindset toward myself, until I asked myself some serious questions. It's a long journey, but well worth it. You find out just how extremely strong and tough you are underneath it all. God be with you, love! ❤️

[amiblack]

As a sister in Christ, I want to remind you that YOU CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS YOU. I know exactly how you feel, Merlanda. I didn't want to learn to love a sick, bloated, unhealthy, prediabetic body so I took control of it. I was so sick and tired of the constant guilt, self loathing that just fed the cycle of overeating that I did something about it. First month eat NO CARBS, NO SUGAR and do INTERMITTENT FASTING. You don't have to exercise at ALL to lose weight, but once you lose enough you're going to find you have more energy and you'll want to do something even if it's just walking. You can do this-you've done hard things before and you can do THIS. Go and get your life back, girl. You deserve it.

[madeline]

This one hits hard. I've spent the last year trying to build better habits. Learning to ignore those voices in my head every time I eat something saying "Are you going to eat that?" "That's unhealthy" I've realized that a lot of my weight fluctuations come from punishing myself. When I'm not punishing myself, I reward myself. That's a difficult habit to break when you see 80 lbs come off within a year doing it. It will come back. I'm constantly fighting with my mind to not just stop eating and drop the weight. The memory of my grandpa saying "So and so was a big girl but she grew out of it." And the times o heard the whispers from other family telling my mom they were concerned about me at the age of 8 while I was running around, being a kid. It sticks forever.

For parents, watch how you speak to your children. And protect them from others that don't. Encourage balance and healthy habits. Not punishment via food and self-deprecating thoughts while enjoying a treat.

[grandmasewhappyhomestead]

I needed to hear this. My family judges me. I had to heal from people telling me that if I was thinner my ex would not of cheated and left me. What a lie I believed for years. I had to learn hoe much the Lord loved me. I had been a Christian my whole life but battled the voices of negativity towards me and weight. I still battle weight but feel better about me than I used too. Dr John thank you for sharing this. I appreciate your wisdom. Looking at this different even today.

[doesnotFempute]

As someone who was obese since childhood and has lost 120 lbs on my own, my experience is that "loving myself" first came from improving my health.

Watching the scale go down is great. But what made me feel really powerful was getting off blood pressure meds. Improving my A1c from 6.5 to 5.4 in 3 months. Getting off metformin. Watching my TSH level and synthroid dose go down (something doctors told me would never happen).

I had to stop obsessing about my appearance and start putting in the work to get results that really mattered - my health.

I've lost basically a whole person and still have 20 more to go. I'm still just as insecure with my body. I have saggy skin. My glorious, big round bu++ got up and walked away. It hurts to sit on a hard surface now. No boobs whatsoever.

I still automatically classify myself as being the biggest in the room. I don't know if that goes away. I'm always going to think of myself as a big person taking up more space than I deserve. But there comes a point where you just shove those thoughts aside and start living your life.