The Most Effective Response To A Narcissist's False Accusations

A narcissist's starting point with you can be summarized, "I know, you don't know." This sets them up to be quite free with criticisms and accusations. Dr. Les Carter explains that while you cannot change the narcissist, you can certainly adjust the ways you respond to the narcissists ongoing invalidation and gaslighting.

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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. For 40+ years he maintained a counseling practice in Dallas, conducting more than 65,000 therapy sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.

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[CattailsandSage]

I'm not grieving the loss of her, I'm grieving the loss of the person I thought she was. That person never really existed.

[mrkcioffi]

Everything a narcissist accuses a person of is actually what they are. They project all their insecurities on you to make themselves a victim.

[istateyourname]

Their accusations are confessions. I strive to not take it personally and reinforce my boundaries.

[gracegorman]

Doesn't matter what the truth is. All they want is the reaction.

[AM-xeiq]

I heard someone say that the narcissist loves nothing more than for you to participate in defending your personhood and your reality, because by doing so, they have successfully distracted you from your own life and pulled you into their web of self regulating through you. Even if it’s a short interaction. Don’t bite! They know damn well you’re a good person and that their maladaptive behavior is beneath you, but they don’t want you to know that! If you even so much as correct them, you’re snared. Tell them “I trust myself. I trust my version of events and I’m good with me. You have to live with your opinions and I don’t.” They will snicker and sneer and make comments, but there’s really nothing they can do with that statement. They are pathetic attention seekers, but their antics require your participation.
You need to leave them, with a smile on your face, in their own dysfunction. I mean don’t pick up their dysfunction and try to hand it back to them.
Just leave it at their feet without touching it, turn your back and keep it moving right on into your amazing life; literally and figuratively.

[narjess]

They love to take what you’ve said out of context in effort to make their delusional points

[yvonnebasson]

They are pathological liers, and the sad part about it, people who don't know, believe the lies🙄

[TargttdGma]

1. STAY CALM
2. LOL, not rudely.
3. Walk away grinning.
4. Ignore them, smiling.
They hate that.

[shellchenonceau]

I truly feel that the high percentage of narcs existing in humanity is why we can never have world peace, especially if we have big govts FULL of these people.

[michimichi]

The moment someone realizes you wont engage their irrationality, and their response is rage, is the only sign you need to know you're dealing with someone who is very unwell.

[knartsylady]

We've decided the only way to survive is to have no contact with the narcissist in our life. Unfortunately, that means alienation from other family members as well, but it is the only solution. We've tried for 10 years to 'make it work', and it never does. Enough is enough.

[markjayw]

Their false accusations that involve law enforcement are the worst! Such disgusting people

[ryojinawasena]

The angrier they are, the slower i talk. I wont allow myself to be pushed. I wont allow my mind to be cornered. Try it.

[tanyac.c.macbean]

Narcissists are starved for praise & attention.

Don't feed them.

[nyeahgarner]

They're very good at accusing you of being the narcissist.

[kajenslv]

As a family scapegoat growing up, and having chosen a narcissist in marriage, I have had false accusations leveled at me my entire life, and I thought I was alone. Thank you for expanding on this topic because it represents my whole life and it’s miserable to exist knowing that false accusations will come at any time, and with no regrets by the narcissist ever.

[reallyaprilstarr]

Honestly, the narcissist thinking you’re an idiot is probably a compliment. 😅

[michignamymichigan]

They will never change. They will never be kind. They trick me into hoping they will be kind. They will never Love me.

[jennashen]

Less words with them are better. Only problem is that when you don't react to their crazy nonsense they come at you harder.

[consciousequus]

FYI/ HEADS UP ! What they're accusing you of doing, is What THEY ARE actually doing.