Signs of Sexual Abuse - trigger warning

One third of us will experience sexual abuse at some point in our lives. This episode of Sexplanations aims to increase awareness about the warning signs of sexual abuse in victims and perpetrators so you can look out for them in yourself and others.

To stay curious, there’s more to learn from the following resources:

I’m also making a special request that this video, more so than others, is shared whenever and wherever possible. If we recognize the signs and report them right away, we can prevent years of additional abuse. I work with children who’ve been abused in many ways and it’s become more than my heart can carry. Since I’m solution-based I created this video for them and the other victims out there but that’s not enough. People need to see it and hear it. I want for us to do a better job protecting each other, even when we’re not able to ask for the help.

[phishfullofasha]

There's a misconception that all abusers are adults but people should also be wary of leaving their kid with someone closer in age like a teenager.

[megxgusta]

As a girl that has experienced sexual abuse, I can relate to almost every symptom you explained. It's really sad how much it can affect a person.

[vitamindubya]

Disturbing but necessary to watch. Especially as a teacher

[sumire]

I used to compulsively draw naked people in suggestive situations when I was little and my mother would almost beat me to death for it despite knowing I got sexually abused by our neighbour
parents really need to open their eyes and get educated about this stuff

[Tonnie]

Me and my twin sister were sexually abused by our father beginning at age 4 and we had a lot of these signs. I also remember when my mom would give us a bath and we expressed that there was pain when she washed our private area but she ignored it. So parents please pay attention and listen to your children’s verbal and nonverbal signs

[Caitcat]

I'm a pediatric nurse and I unfortunately see physical and sexual abuse all the time. A new and unique sign I learned recently was a self inflicted vaginal injury. My patient purposely and permanently injured her vagina so the abuser wouldn't want to hurt her anymore.

[piratequeen]

Tbh I'm kinda disappointed in the comments right now. Like people claiming that the stats Dr. Doe listed are untrue but then not providing any sort of source to back up their claim. And then others victim-blaming or otherwise diminishing victim's experiences. I expected more empathy and support from this community.

[DeusViator]

To the people saying that these signs are too broad, that's the whole point. Not everyone expresses this behaviour in the same way so you're not looking for one of these signs and saying from that that they've definitely been sexually abused, you're looking for ALL of them and if enough of the signs start adding up that you become worried then you don't do anything about it yourself but instead you take it to a professional social worker who is trained in how to deal with cases like this.

[goodra]

i find that child protective services fails a lot of people.

[velfcookie]

It's hard to pinpoint sexual abuse because trusting in others with handling your children is a way to feel secure. My mom didn't think twice about why my grand-uncle, who lives miles and miles away, who I only saw on holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving, would suddenly start giving me gifts, coming all the way to my state to visit me and tell her everything was alright. "He is so nice. He gives her more money than I ever got when I was kid." "Omgoodness did he take you shopping? What a great uncle he is." "I hope he gets to take you school shopping more often so I can save some money!" "You should be grateful! Your dad didn't do a thing for you and here is your dad's uncle trying to fill in for him." You have no idea how much is tore me up inside even considering telling my mom what he did to me. It hurt so much. I was suicidal and my mom thought I was possessed by demons because I was depressed. When parents don't ask, children won't tell. Talk to your kids. I made it a priority to make sure my little sister (from my stepfather) was safe because I used my own experience as a guide.

[iLOVEpicklesBRO]

It took me three weeks to even confront that I was assaulted, and this channel was the first place I went to when it really hit me. It's also where I found the hotline I contacted. This channel is a truly welcoming, safe place and I want to say thank you, Dr Doe.

[treemonkonbreak]

To any other survivors out there, if you feel like no one cares or that you are alone, you're not! There are many of us out there who will always be there to offer support and friendship. Just reach out, how ever you can and we will be there.

[saht]

I was molested by my uncle and cousin and showed many of these signs but sadly none of my teachers where educated enough to catch the signs I'm glad you're making a video in inform others on how sexual abuse can affect a child.

[petalphan]

Thank you for making this. <3 As a future teacher and survivor of sexual and relationship abuse, it means a lot to me.

[Muirmaiden]

Very informative video. Not only signs of sexual abuse in victims/survivors but also signs that perpetrators exhibit. Here are a few more regarding sexual abusers. If they:

1. Refuse to allow a child sufficient privacy or to make their own decisions on personal matters.

2. Insist on time alone with a child with no interruptions.

3. Buy children expensive gifts or give them money for no apparent reason.

4. Frequently walk in on children/teenagers in the bathroom.

5. Treat a particular child as a favourite, making them feel 'special' compared with others in the family.

6. Pick on a particular child.

These are all red flags, whether the abuser is a family member, friend, etc. Pedophiles have an satiable need for control and that's something else to watch out for.

[BendyDivine]

I remember playing with My friend’s Barbie dolls and actting out the abuse, even though I didnt realize it then, looking back it is crystal clear. ☹️

[d.e.b.b]

Abused people sometimes go to great lengths to hide what is happening to us. At age 6, I was a normal, skinny little kid. By age 8 I was a rolly polly fat kid with acting out behavior, and a new best friend who was 6 years older than myself. No one noticed. Starting the summer after 1st grade, I was sexually abused, and it went on for 7 years, sometimes every day for months. It was an escape from a home where I was routinely lied to by my parents, and beaten by my older sister and neighbor. School was no escape, as I was bullied by many of the other kids because of my facial abnormality. Not knowing where to turn, and being with my abuser the only place where I wasn't being physically beaten, the abuse went on for many years, until suddenly, he moved away. He became a cop. Maybe as a way to make up for something truly awful he did when younger? I don't know. He committed suicide in the early 2000's. No one knew why. Maybe, I do. Why did I forgive him? Because for him to know how to teach me how to do what he did in the early 60's, he had to have had it done to him as a kid, as well. There was no internet, no way for him to know the things that he did, unless someone else had done it to him. No, it wasn't an excuse. But I understand how it could have happened. Adults who do it, such as all those catholic priests, know what they're doing is wrong, but they do it anyway.

[HrothgarXII]

For those of you questioning the validity of some or all of the statements made in this video - Dr Doe posted many links to further materials in the description. Please read up before you simply come out and say the facts are wrong.

[casjour]

After I was sexually assaulted, I ended up forcing it on another "child". I didn't know at the time it was horribly wrong, but when I was finally understanding it was, I stopped. I was horrified of myself and I haven't told anyone in my life. He pretends it never happened, which I'm thankful for, but the guilt eats me alive everyday. It makes me feel a tiny bit better knowing it is considered a "symptom", but it's still eating me alive.

[tristanmontgrain]

this was great, no wonder my mom figured out I was being abused as a teenager, I was displaying many of the signs, I was cutting and burning myself, I was drinking heavily and using psychedelics to escape, I was afraid of intimacy, I repeatedly attempted suicide, I was depressed and locked in my room when I wasn't sleeping around, and eventually my mom picked up on these signs and made me feel safe enough to tell her what happened while I was crying on her shoulder, this video is a verifiably good source for behavioural signs of sexually abused adolescents