what I’ve learned in the 2.5 seconds I’ve been dating as a single lesbian

Hi, skullies! Today won't be a typical video, but I wanted to update you guys on my love life and tell you about some things I have learned in the very short amount of time I have been dating while single. I made a lot of mistakes in my first relationship and this is a cautionary storytime tale of how I ensured that I didn't make the same mistakes again with a new potential partner.

💀 who am I? 💀
My name is Savonne Pearson, a 22-year-old who loves to tell stories and challenge perspectives. Whether it be through commentary or a series, in each video, I aim to teach you something new or tell a story. I’m passionate about normalizing mental health within the black community, challenging stereotypes within the LGBT community, and bringing awareness to those who often become forgotten.

💀 SUBSCRIBE TO JOIN ME ON MY JOURNEY TO 1,000 💀
Click BELOW to be a part of the Skully Gang and be a Skully! 💀

💀 connect with me 💀
Instagram: @sapimij

💀 Check out my other content! 💀
Toxic Mental Tuesday (TMT), where I discuss anything having to do with toxicity and or mental health:
Toxic Mothers: Our Experience featuring my two oldest sisters:
The Lesbian Masterdoc Series, where I explore the lesbian masterdoc discussing compulsory heterosexuality (comp het), my experience with it and coming out as a late bloomer lesbian:
The Forgotten Bunch series where I discuss Black cases that haven't gotten as much media or police attention and or remain unsolved:
My interviews and discussion where I bring very different people on my channel to discuss LGBT and Black topics:
My commentary where I talk about controversial topics, both alone and with guests:
I'm a filmmaker and I've been creating videos since I was nine years old, here I react to my video archives:

💀F A Q S💀
age: 22
where am I?: the Midwest
when did you start uploading consistently?: May 17th, 2020
when did you come out?: I'm a late bloomer lesbian and I came out at 21 years old

💀 equipment 💀
camera: canon c100 mark ii
lens: nifty 50 mm & the pancake lens 24mm
lighting: ring light & occasionally my studio GVM lights

Sub count: 980 skullies

[SavonnePearson]

Hey skullies!!
QUESTION OF THE DAY: what are some red flags for you when exploring a new potential relationship?

First, let me thank you SO MUCH for all the love on the infomercial. I was nervous I wasn’t doing it justice and you guys helped SO much with all your positive feedback. Keep sharing! I wanna get it higher up in numbers.
Life update: I started a full time position (THAT I that I was previously interning at and had set hours but now that I’m full time, I’m basically always on call so I’m figuring out the balance between that and YouTube. With that being said I’m working hard to make sure I get back to my regular posting schedule and have some great stuff coming for you guys.

Thank you again for all of the love and support. I can’t BELIEVE I’m almost at 1k WOW

[jukiepuffs]

I've dated a lot of narcissists. Basically they seem perfect to you at the start. They love bomb you with affection. They are great at reading what you want to hear and saying that to you. They want to move things fast and sort of dismiss your boundaries. Like this woman made you feel bad about enforcing your boundaries and communicating. The cracks usually show pretty fast. You need to be prepared to leave when your gut tells you

[DailyPositiveAffirmatives]

I hate dating too...it feels so impersonal and excessive trying to get to know multiple people. I know it’s allegedly not wise to put alls eggs in one basket but I rather spend that cumulative time and energy learning about a single person than to spread myself thin. The people exhaust I experience as an introvert is real.

[Michelle-ojwv]

I’m normally the person that’s slow to commit in relationships, but I’m always respectful of the other persons time and effort. It’s important to me that they know from the get go that I’m not necessarily looking for a relationship. But a thing I’ve noticed is when I say that, everyone takes it as a not yet. It was exhausting.

[sydneyjael]

1)Great video per usual❤️
 
2) I have never related to a video so much. It's so hard to find LGBT creators on YouTube that has this type of mindset that matches mine. Most talk about dating around to the point it seems so fake, and like they're putting up a front. Not saying that exploring your options is bad. I'm just saying I relate so much more to you saying that you have a big heart and develop emotions easily. I wish this video was out last year it would've saved me so much time, energy, and heartbreak. I literally lost myself in trying to please a person who didn't know what they wanted but wanted to still keep me. And it really hit home with the paragraph part, I would send ENTIRE dissertations and she would reply with "K" or "alright" and would gaslight me to the point I thought I was wrong for saying anything at all. I relate to wanting to stick by people sides and wanting to invest in potential. I cut her off for good at the beginning of quarantine so this whole quarantine has been a mental game in should I call her or maybe since we have the time we can make it work. And I'm so glad I watched this entire video, this video really just confirmed that I'm taking the right steps to preserve my heart and my well-being by not talking to her. (And to be quite honest I should've left her in 2019 😂)  
 
3)I think the hypersexualized image of relationships in movies and social media makes it so not a lot of people pursue relationships. Especially when looking at LGBT films. I rarely feel like I have a place in the community because I prefer dating one person and I don't like casual or small talking. As a 17 year old girl apart of the LGBT community and also with a big heart, its hard to find people that share the same values as me with a platform because it seems like everyone wants the benefits that comes with a relationship (emotions, gifts, spending time together, etc.) but they don't want to be "tied down" but then wonder why they can't keep someone. This video and 2020 as a whole has just really opened my eyes to this. And I'm slowly learning that for me at least God will align our paths with whoever we are meant to be with, so if we have to go off our path or minimize ourselves to be in anyone else's life. they're not the one.

[bluedog]

I only just found your channel, but these stories are wild. I’m shocked you don’t have more views

[YasmineSDJ]

honestly, the phrases "I don't want a relationship/I am not ready for a relationship/I am not LOOKING for a relationship but I'm fine if it comes/I only want sex" have a single meaning and it's "I am willing to waste your time. Are you?" Anyone who comes with any of those is a no no for me, because they are not "okay if it comes". You're not the one sis, they don't want a relationship, I do, good bye.

People who go with this let's chill, let's be friends with benefits, let's hang out but no strings attached exhaust me. If I wanted no feelings involved I would be at a party hooking up with some random person I'm never gonna see again. If I know your name then this better be going somewhere lol I don't get being willing to waste your time learning useless facts abt people just to get a hookup. smh I guess it's the introvert in me speaking xD

[myshortstack]

WHEN U GET READY TO GET BACK OUT THERE TAKE YA TIME ONE DAY AT A TIME.

[cjaehill]

It’s hard now a days in the dating world, came across your blog, continue to be real. You’re awesome

[ashscraps]

It really does suck when it's so hard to find anyone who's interested in growing a relationship together.I'd say about 80% of the people I meet say they are not interested in a relationship. I am like you. I catch feelings and I want them to be my one and only and vice versa. Good for you on getting out of that so quickly. You should be proud of knowing yourself well enough to do that. I am working on setting boundaries in dating but it is so hard. I'll just keep working on it.

"Bookmark it." nope. Jesus. Hearing all this makes me see things so differently. She sounds SO much like a guy I dated off and on where we both caught feelings for each other. We're still friends 2.5 years later, but I finally released the hope of dating him. He used to say things like "let me circle back to this." This guy is 42 and kept me on the hook with letting me believe he would eventually choose me. I believed it because I love him but I'm DONE.

[daisyflower]

I recently got back on tinder. Surprisungly it's been going well. I've been matching with really nice women. We'll see where it goes.

Its important to communicate what you want from someone early on so you know not to waste your time.

[nicolemccray]

I m 33 and would love to see you in 5 years and hear your perspective on this video. Dating life is full of teachable moments. Try to have fun and enjoy the journey while you’re in it!

[Mechellemybelle.]

I know this is old, but I saw so much of the old me, in the girl you were dealing with, now at 32 I realize it was immaturity, identity issues, insecurities and trauma I was operating from. Not excusable, because at major points I was aware of my actions, I just simply didn’t care. As I was numb, and emotionally unavailable. I’ve reaped the pain, and I took it and became better and worked on myself. I love the ending of this video and how you ended it for YOU. the only thing I would’ve did differently is not giving her that long paragraph because she didn’t care. ( I literally said this before seeing the end of her message- “that’s too bad” …But you did it for you so, i understand that. Hope you’re well today.

[BlueMoonCircus]

You’re a badass! I get carried away with people who value the same way passions as I do. Often and unfortunately it doesn’t mean they’re on the same page emotionally and it’s a letdown. Been there so many times! Big hugs 🤗

[nullinvoid]

This channel helps me feel less lonely as a black lesbian in a not so accepting environment.

[moniquebrasil]

oh honey people can be on games their entire life.

[jauliechante]

I'm only five minutes into the video and this is theeee best gay Black content omg, im screaming

[holliballecter]

I'm bi but i got here through your demisexual video, lets just say... thankyou for your the barely responsive messages, the odd replies, the red thansk dude you probably gonna save me a lotta time. i'll keep your video in the back of my mind and give it another few days or

[Lanae]

Great video. I recently started dating again as a transgender lesbian. It is really hard to find likeminded people in the LGBT com community. I am an old sole who is somewhat conservative. I hope you find what you are looking for soon.

[syncanima]

Ahhh, I usually don't comment on YouTube but I haven't resonated that hard with something in a while and I just wanna thank you for sharing your story and experience - been through similar stuff several times unfortunately but agreeing with what you say and knowing now that I gotta go when someone is playing with me shows me that I actually learned a lot! It's so frustrating that it's actually a more common thing than I wanted to admit - all these girls out there who love to play and fool around... maybe I was too naive or optimistic haha anyways greetings from a fellow lesbian! Hope we all gonna find someone who's ready to be serious and to stay and to commit - we are not alone at least! :)