The Years I Lost to Mental Illness

I often find myself grieving over a period of time in my life that it feels I lost to mental illness. For a period of about 5 or 6 years, it felt like I was using all the time and energy I had just to stay afloat. I lost touch with the life trajectory I had envisioned, I lost touch with the important people in my life, and I lost touch with my understanding of who I was.

In this video I discuss those years and how I've come to process them, learn from them, and move forward.

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#schizophrenia #schizoaffective #schizoaffectivedisorder #mentalhealth #mentalillness #lostyears

[LivingWellwithSchizophrenia]

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[SvetlanaMinina]

I can relate to this. I don't have schizophrenia, I have depression. And although depression is considered less severe, i still lost at least 8 years to it, maybe more. I lost friends, ability to study and work during those years, and I will never get them back. I feel better knowing, that I'm not the only one going through this. Thanks for your video.

[ShawnFerrell]

You are definitely not alone. I lost all of my twenties, and almost all of my thirties to my illness. All of my healthy friends are married and have children. I've been alone for more than a decade. I still struggle to live the life I want. I won't lose hope.

[sylviamcdaniel]

I lost my mid forties to my early fifties to Schizophrenia and Manic Depression. It is only by the grace of God that I'm still alive, on medication, and living independently. I'm 57 now living alone, and at peace.

[austinconner]

I lost about 7 solid years because of schizoaffective disorder and dug many holes that I'm now trying to climb out of. We can't get that time back but we can make our next stretch better than what we missed.

[TheWildernessLife]

I just turned 36, and I’ve lost a decade of my life to the hell of severe treatment resistant depression and chronic pain. I’m not really getting better I don’t know what to do. I just panic sometimes. I’ve tried everything. I’m kept alive by sheer grit and ferocious love for my wife and three beautiful boys. God this is getting old.

[saggguy]

I definitely relate to this. I developed depression early on in middle school that went untreated for nearly a decade. I lost so many years and permanently damaged my developing brain to the point where I don’t think I will ever live a depression-free life. I also deal with a lot of rage toward my parents who saw the very, very obvious signs of my illness and did nothing, sometimes even punishing and shaming me for my symptoms. I often wonder what my life would have been like if they had acted with love and not judgement.

[RaysDad]

I've learned how to be more likeable over the years, but as a child and early adult I had no real friends because my behavior was odd and inappropriate. That's what I lost to mental illness -- years of fellowship with other people and whatever success comes from having support and connections.

[julieinmpls]

OMG girl, thanks so much for expressing what so many people go through. Every word resonated with me. The regret brought me to a really dark place a few years ago. Today, I just feel like it was all part of my "life package, " and I'm starting to understand why it happened. When you can truly love yourself, you can embrace everything you've gone through. Don't ever believe that you "missed the party" of life. The party is ALWAYS going on, and you can join any time :-)

[reneelove]

The number of people you educate, help and entertain, through your choice of social media, is above my capacity, and truly awesome. Thank you for sharing your journey.

[barbaramanning]

This whole video really hit home for me. Try being 72 years old and feeling like life has passed you by. I just got a job as a mental health tech. And I feel like this is my last chance. Like you, I am hoping that I am not just beating my head against the wall. I, also, am a professional job hopper due to my anxiety and depression. God bless your videos!

[pointcuration]

And look at you now. You are wonderful. Your entire life has had incalculable value, even the times you struggled.

[lindabilis]

I have a sister with schizoaffeetive disorder who was a teacher and rhen had a breakdown in her 20s. It was very difficult in the beginning to adjust to losing her career etc but then she got married and had 2 children . She struggled with the not taking her meds and always ended up hospitalized but her hubby was supportive as well as her family. She is now 64 and has a wonderful life with a grandchild on the way. Don't give up

[AaronStark]

I completely lost about 5 years due to schizophrenia. Lost a lot of friends, lost the ability to hold a job, and overall just lost any strength and desire I had to turn things around. Now thankfully due to the right medications and a good counselor my life is fairly stable but I can't gain back what I lost in those dark years. All I can do is move forward, not dwell on the past, and be the best version of myself every single day. That's my goal for the time being. Hopefully eventually I'll be able to be productive out in society but I know my limits and I make sure not to push myself too hard. Stress is the main trigger of my symptoms and being under someone else's authority stresses me out like you can't believe.

[evannahjoym]

Your struggles have a silver lining in that you were able to create this channel and help so many. I work as a psych nurse and watch these vids to help me help my patients better.

[jessicatoussaint]

I love how you normalize the struggle of mental illness. Not just the "good" times. Those times where things are hard. Where you're in a rut. Where you are grieving what you felt you" "lost". In my case I don't have schizophrenia but I do have severe mental trauma due to abuse (and living in such an environment). I often feel like I lost my entire childhood to two adults who should have never had kids. And I did. I didn't have the joy of a healthy childhood. Though I developed unhealthy coping mechanisms to survive, and I did have some joys and love, the abuse took it all away. Though, we can regain life in new ways. I did lose my childhood in some sense, but I also gained beauty in it. The days where things weren't so bad. The days where things felt calm. The days where I knew it was going to be a good day. Though the cycle of abuse is always spinning, I am thankful for the people who helped me. It prevented me from going completely to waste and is likely why I am still able to function now.

[MandaPanda]

Holy moly this hits so close to me. I lost all of my teenage years and young adult years to mental illness, and it's is very hard to accept even 10 years later. It has had a huge impact on me, in ways I've never been able to express, and feel that no one would understand...

[ohnobutters]

I got diagnosed at 22. I lost the social part of my college experience. I burned so many bridges because of paranoia leading up to my diagnosis. I can't get it back, but I can try to never let it get that bad again.

[calicoathena]

I have avpd and agoraphobia (without panic disorder) and can relate to this so hard. I'm 27 and I've spent 99% of my twenties stuck inside fearing the outside and what people might think of me. I'm completely isolated and working a job well below my ability because of it.

[chloeslater]

I started to lose life at 15, I'm 34 now. I have slowly started to have more periods of being aware of life but it's still a huge struggle, I feel I've been under water for nearly 20 years. My diagnosis is different but this is extremely relatable. Everyone around me is doing the "normal" 30's things like having children, being in relationships, buying a house etc and I am desperately trying to do the basics. My late teens and 20's were a blur of hospital and appointments. i don't relate to most people's experiences and mainly it just makes me feel profoundly sad.