Sergeant major is gonna be so mad

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[colinsanders]

So about a month into my first duty station, I hit a car in the parking lot. It belonged to my PSG. It was a Mitsubishi Lancer that he had personally tricked out. This guy was hard-core, dude. Joined at 17 and was in Sadr City for his birthday. I was fucking terrified when I told him. This man looked at me and said "Do you have insurance?.... It's all good then. You're gonna be paying out the ass on your premiums for a while though." Then he used it as an excuse to get us both off work at lunch. One of the best NCOs I ever had. Wish I had kept up with him.

[wingedcoot]

Herding cats should be an Olympic sport. The SMG knows better than to leave his vehicle there when the duty day is over.

[Jaydeeyo]

"I'M GOING TO GET FIRED AND I'M NOT EVEN DOING ANYTHING WRONG" I'm laughing so hard because that was my catch phrase my entire career hahahaha

[rockranger]

Hahaha, watching the LT have an aneurism on a Monday morning, best entertainment ever.

[bamafan-in-OZ]

I lost it at "7th new weird thing added to the safety brief"😂

[jameshall]

Uncle is a retired SgtMajor, his response was "that would be accurate"

[ralffsmith]

I believe fully that at least 4 of my former troops were in a competition to see how many line items on the safety brief they could add. I could see the arses crack a smile when the "new" restriction they caused was read out.😅

[auntiem]

I use to think you couldn’t get fired once you joined the Army.
4 years at Benning, taught me otherwise.


I got one for you.
OCS had a class on following orders no matter what.

One was assigned to the Lt. Col. next door to my office.
The cadet showed up right after lunch and told the secretary he was there to protect the Col..
The Secretary told him no and to leave the office.
He wouldn’t do she shoved him outside the door and told him he could wait there.
That cadet sent everyone away.
Didn’t matter if they had an appointment or not.

Then there was an argument outside in the hall about how someone wanted in the office and the cadet said no.

This person was in PTs, no rank.
And there was a shoving match.
Heard some grunting but the cadet held firm!

After about 10 minutes of this the secretary opens the door and tells the cadet that, that is the Lt. Col. He was sent to guard.
He wasn’t in the office cause of morning meetings elsewhere.

You could heat everyone laughing, we tried not to but that was funny.

You heard the Col. on the phone yelling at the OCS school commander.
With it ending on let’s do lunch.
1500 the cadet went back to the school house.

I heard story’s the next day about how one was sent to guard a rock in front of the OCS compound. They put up cones, put a roadguard vest on it and yelled at anyone who came near it.

Others following around other officers who spent their time trying to dodge their shadow.

Nothing was as funny then that cadet who guarded an officer who wasn’t I. His office and then once he arrived wouldn’t let him in his own office and, got beat up for it. 🤣🤣🤣

[nelsblair]

It was after hours, outside the building, and without using any issued equipment. It was not a scheduled exercise. It’s a civil matter between two private parties. Courts solve that.

[Nvable]

For those that know:

I was on a Spur Ride, at Ft. Carson, at teh top of a hill on the Banana Belt and one of the spur holders had us lift up a HEMTT tire. (Look it up on google.) He pushed down the hill and told us to stop the tire. I told him FU, you stop the tire. That tire rolled and hit two cars. Talk about dents.

[hateferlife]

I've seen things like this. All I have to say is 'no nerf guns' was added to the rules of the barracks.

[micahrosen]

Imagine the safety brief the entire division had to go through after soldiers that were restricted to barracks because of drunk driving as a group, decided to get drunk and take turns shooting each other with a .45 to test their new body armor.

[sportscarman]

I'm gonna get fired and I'm not even doing anything wrong. Holy shit that spoke to me lol

[OversizedDetour]

"He said not to panic! HE SAID NOT TO PANIC!"😬😱💀

[javiersanchez]

If i were the one who had to report that, i would literally hold on to my shit trying not to laugh seeing that video😂.

[joshhardy]

Hell yeah I had one of those as a kid. I loved my remote bike. I used to ramp it too.

[nathancombs]

I would like to point out it was not a new Doge pick up truck soooo probably was not the Sargent Mj car

[SpartanRamen]

I once watched someone eat the ever loving shit out of someone's car just like that RC because dude tripped over one of those weird parking lot section dividers that have a curb around them.

[joshuawilson]

Some safety briefs seem to be trading cards for the military. As a sailor, i had to sit through a safty brief about driving a duty truck on the flight line and bot hitting on of the few light poles on it, also, it was done by an airman. I have no reseason to be driving on the flight line or even on it.

[curtispharis]

Our Smg in Guatemala left the bar drunk as and backed into everything only going 2 blocks down the compound. Next day he’s trying to find the culprit who hit his suv🤦🏼‍♂️