Understanding the defense of introjection

We talk a lot about projection in our field, but not nearly enough about it's corollary - introjection. Introjection is a defensive process in which the child internalizes the feelings, beliefs and attitudes that the parent projects onto and into the child. In so doing, the child preserves the illusion that the parent is "good" and s/he is the bad one. These introjected feelings and attitudes often have lasting, albeit, unconscious influence on the patient's sense of self. Helping the patient face the reality of what happened and their true feelings about it so they can get clear about who is who and what is what, is an essential therapeutic goal.

[AmethystWoman]

"It's hard to fight enemies who have outposts in your head."

[anonymousprivate]

Thank you for posting this. I am late diagnosed autistic and have CPTSD . I suspect I may also have a dissociative disorder but am also aware of overlap with mental health conditions/ASD. More memories have been coming back over the last few years and I am almost 50. I am beginning to own my shame, rage and confusion due to being raised by traumatized, possibly ASD inconsistent parents. I was aware 10 years ago that the shame seemed to be coming from what I internalized as a child.

[leoy]

Getting Parents ( the culture assumptions ) out of ourselves is never an easy thing, but it's something has to be done. Thank you Dr. Coughlin.

[sarasundgren]

True. Im not my past .. Spent half my life in therapy. Now pray to God and journal feelings and try to reconcile conflicts by pray and process w a therapist - exercise is very good deal w lot of life - try to not be obsessed but let go . selfawareness and selfacceptance ❤Peace

[Anne.....]

I have experienced what I think must have been projection from others and then my introjection. I remember vaguely from my teens that my mother took over for me in some situations as if I was unable to do something myself (projected her own denied feelings of weakness onto me). Then later I had the most baffling and incomprehensible experience over many years that my sister without saying it with words treated me as if I was "less than" her and as if I was mentally ill, because she knew I suffered from anxiety. She did this also in my "formative years" as a teenager and it affected my sense of self-esteem, but many years later I started to question the way she treated me and I was shocked to little by little realize that the way she saw me and treated me was so far removed from who I really was and from the ressources I actually had. Then I experienced that my partner and later husband couldn't tolerate his own weakness and constantly projected it onto me and hated me and blamed me for being weak.
Only lately have I been able to see all this more clearly. The projections from these three persons were somehow subtle and unspoken and very difficult to become aware of. I simply did not understand what was going on, I just had a terrible feeling of being worthless when I had been together with them, and I had a feeling that they somehow could not see me for who I was. Now I understand that it was not, because they could not see me, but because they needed to project their unwanted feelings onto me to get rid of them.

[naturallaw]

This is so generous and so just perfect

[barrylyndongurley]

I grew up under a hale of physical/emotional violence. It started when I was about 3 yrs of age, and continued until age 16, when my family finally escaped my raging, abusive Father. Now at 68 years of age, I still struggle every day with the ongoing effects of this abusive, "down-bringing." Thanks Dr Coughlin, for providing insight into this relatively unknown phenomenon. "Introjection" is the grim, "gift that keeps on giving:" in perpetuity.

[RubinISR]

Brilliant. Thank you so much. Helped me understand exactly what introjection is, understanding it was (or still is) my main coping mechanism growing up.
It feels so good to be aware of it, and so be able to act differently.

[rikkehvelplund]

Very helpfull. Projection/introjection - processes on each end of the interpersonal exchange of ideas and emotions.

[cherylm]

You explained it really well, thanks🙏

[sarasundgren]

Sad but true. I was just by accident listening to this - after google term introjection. I feel this intrusive behaviours of parents created lots of unsafety and aversion toward parents. I broken up w my family after long time suffering and therapy not really serve me as I tried to have relationship w especially mum.
I felt intense everything of mum must be out of my system. Everything. She tried manipulate w God. Corrupt all meaning of freedom, honesty, emotional truth and love. As I wrote a letter tell her not want be reminded of any past, that its enough, I felt I let her go. I dont want her money full of guilt, said she cant pay of her debt. I forgive for my own sake. Its crazy how much suffering from unconscious trauma and lies and parents problems, like introjection, can steal, kill and rob joy in adult peoples life.

[sarahfara]

This was so interesting! Related to it a lot. I want them out, too 😫 Just discovered your channel, will definitely watch more 👏

[anni]

Absolutely brilliant. Such helpful examples. Thank you.

[animalliberationCLBB]

Thank you ❤ much ❤ from Germany
So horrible what people do to children and other people omg😢 heartbreaking.

[lildavey]

This has me think about children who introject entire repressive systems of thought, often religious or spiritual, of their parents. I think this is what I’m seeing in older adolescents or young adults, who without any critical thinking or reflection, parrot their parent’s repressive/reductionistic ways (defensive systems) of viewing the world. To question the system of thought would stir up underlying mixed feelings with a caregiver and feels “threatening” to their sense of pseudo autonomy or identity (within that belief system).

[alvideor]

Thank you, this is very helpful. Introjection isn't often discussed as a defense mechanism and tends to be confused with identification.

Dr. Coughlin, do you discuss the connection between introjection and disgust anywhere or know of any references? It seems that attuning to one's own disgust (the desire to vomit out what is repulsive) Is a key step in reversing the introjects from our parents (what we have swallowed from them).

[goldensprite]

Similar sexual things happened to me from a parent. Thanks for posting.
I am having successful psychodynamic therapy x

[rohan]

Ma'am what would be the difference between introjection and projective identification?

[bellofigoitaliano]

How do I stop interacting with the internal object of my BPD ex, I feel once I get rid of the introjection that is her I can finally
Forget about her, the last part of my healing.

[toslso]

Thanks for this, I am somewhat confused though. You state that children don’t have the capacity for a separate mind and introject the projections of their parents. But that sounds like introjection is a consequence of a lack of capacity rather than serving a defensive function? Or does introjection really have a defensive function and is it also found in adults? Thanks