The Impact of Long Covid on Sex, Dating and Relationships | Exclusive New Study

An often neglected part of the assessment of the impact of Long Covid, or indeed any chronic illness, is the crushing impact on relationships, the ability to date and sex life.

This film breaks down the results of a survey of 424 long haulers, detailing how LC has affected everything from conflict in relationships, barriers to dating and frequency of sexual activity, including details of physical sexual dysfunction.

The Long Covid Handbook (Oct 2022), by Gez Medinger and Professor Danny Altmann and published by Penguin Books is now available in paperback, ebook and audiobook. A singular resource that brings together everything patients, clinicians and academics have learnt about the condition since early 2020, as well as lessons from sufferers and researchers of ME/CFS and other chronic conditions. It offers world leading expert advice on understanding, managing and treating Long Covid. The Long Covid Handbook is available from the following links:

CONTENTS:

0:00 Introduction
0:31 The Cohort
1:30 Relationships
3:01 Dating
3:41 Sex
7:34 Long form responses
11:06 Summary

[myhealthobs]

Lc has perhaps been a blessing as it's shown me who my real friends are and most certainly shown me who my partner wasn't. The saddest years of my life where we suffered 11 breakups, each one caused by stress, my lack of energy and followed by month long crashes. I came close to suicide at one point as I also lost the children I loved. Her response to this was "I'm not a respite for broken men". Nothing educates like LC, nothing builds character or reveals empathy in others like LC. All I know is my next relationship will be fantastic. LC changes moods, personality, responses to stress, it's like an earthquake, only the most stable rocks survive. Look after yourselves people. Remember your health is no 1

[jvnonunjl]

ME/SEID will most likely be the same results or worse! I know as a male in his mid-20s I'm severely affected. It's so shit, especially with a high libido

[sloth]

I can’t possibly imagine going on dates now. It would have to date a fellow LC sufferer, so we can go at a slow pace- literally. Lmao.

[zzberman]

Thanks so much for taking on the uncomfortable topic of sexual activity and relationships, Gez.You handled it perfectly as always with facts, tact, confidence and humor. I actually asked this question in the LHCS Group 1 early on when I recognized how physical activity seemed to be impacting so many of us. How were people engaging with their partners or alone when feeling so unwell and physically debilitated following any and all activities. My work as a therapist with those impacted by cancer and other chronic conditions made it possible for me to ask the hard (ahem) questions 😉 and people were pretty comfortable sharing. Seems to have improved over the 2 years as some people were ending up in the ER post intimacy back then. It can definitely be a source of frustration in many relationships even without adding a chronic illness into the mix. I’ve wondered if dating a fellow long hauler might make it easier to navigate due to the similarities and compassion, assuming both parties are suffering same symptoms. And I had an idea to meet this need. However, Fatigue and Brainfog detoured any well intended progress. <sigh>. Just like everything else you just discussed 😏

[splathub]

LC since March 2020 - in the first year I really didn’t have any sex drive. I think the fatigue had a lot to do with that and stress. My wife and I at the time were trying to have a baby. It took us a year to get pregnant. I did notice in that year that I had a lot less semen for some reason which I never experienced before. So I attribute that to the LC and the fact that it took a year to get pregnant. I say that because fast forward to today the semen levels are back to normal and it took us just a month or two to get pregnant a second time. I just think that maybe I’m healthier now then at the beginning although I’m still not 100%. My wife did understand everything I was going through but when the baby came and we were both tired she didn’t understand why I wasn’t helping as much with the baby. I just need sleep and as new parents that’s hard to come by. I also don’t like to complain all the time as I’m just dealing with it. So my partner may not always know that I’m not feeling great.

[elianauku]

As someone with a rather severe form of neuro LC, I’m SO grateful to have already had a kind, dedicated partner at the time of my onset because any form of relationship cultivating/intimacy is impossible now. I feel for him. He doesn’t deserve this.

[ms]

I love these videos I want to thank you for continuing to do reasearch. I am a woman and I had absolutely no libido for probably 18 months after contracting covid and suffering with long haul. That returning to normal was a big sign of recovery. This illness really does touch every facet of life!

[naimaella]

Thanks for approaching this important, but neglected topic. It’s great to have data on this. I was convinced previously that much of my experiences with lack of desire was caused by grief rather than dysfunction, so it’s comforting to know I am not alone in this.

[deethompson]

I haven't the energy for my friends never mind dating 💔 I'm so grateful to be single as LC must be an absolute nightmare for a couple. Long Covid is such an isolating condition. Thank you once again Gez - it's comforting to know we're not alone 🙏

[melaniec]

Thanks once again for using your energy to make this informative video. You're a star and wish I knew you in person to chat all things LC over a brew ☕

[sara_sofia_]

Female, 38. Caught covid March 2020. For me, sexual activity actually improves my health, as long as I don't push my body too hard. My libido didn't change until recently, I discovered I stopped ovulating for a few months because I wasn't eating enough. Eating enough is hard because I'm too tired to cook. I used to have a boyfriend and I would tell him I would have sex with him but he would have to cook for me afterwards because I would need to rest. That worked well.

[Martin-rhmf]

You can't pour from an empty cup..

I've met someone.. She has long covid. Watching this has been insightful. I feel ever so slightly depressed now. She's achieved so much & comes from a privileged background.
She complains about life not being fair. She was used to the high life. My background is more humble. God, I just want this to be different. I have decent health. I don't know what to do

[Ex-expat]

Great initiativ and presentation! As CFS/ME has not been recognized as a illness by most medical practitioners the sex topic is not even on their radar. Long covid may hopefully change this.

Thanks again!

[nomebear]

The anxiety and depression was all over the map when I was in the thick of it effectively driving my partner away. My partner is an anti-vaxer and left the country to avoid vaccination. There's no blame, we've moved on, and life is good again.

[ChildofGod]

Please pray for me. My heart is in despair. God said, “Whenever two or more are gathered together in his name, he will be there in our midst”. I have two beautiful boys both are autistic. My husband passed away years ago. I lost my job over declining the vaccine. LIKE MANY OTHERS! I declined due to my pre existing health conditions lupus and heart disease. I’ve been struggling to provide for myself and my children since losing my job as a social worker from Forsyth hospital. I’m now waitressing, and I’m thankful, but I’m not making nearly enough to get by. Every month is a battle to not end up on the streets with my two boys. I’m constantly in fear of losing my home. But even as I face homelessness seemingly every month. I have faith, God will provide, in Jesus’s name.

[barbarateresarhiannonsreal]

Here's my take on ME/CFS (since childhood or maybe infancy) & LC in adulthood.

Barely surviving decades with hardly any energy for life, then getting Covid-19 & LC, there's no energy for anything.

That's what makes this thing so messy is living with a partner before Covid-19 & after.

This lifestyle with no physicality isn't his choice (or mine).

My decision to move out & let him have his house & life back so he can move on is hampered by my inability to work & get financially stable to start the whole process of moving yet again.

[Anamaria-ewlh]

You continue to surprize in a pozitive way with your research. You are wright, this affects our libido. This is some indicator that is signalling to me if my body is ok or it flares up again. Thank you again, Gez!

[carolenmarch]

What with all the other awful symptoms and struggles with life that this illness brings, negatively impacting close relationships and intimacy is yet another blow below the belt . I don't know what to say except thank you Gez for enlightening me ( I've not had LC but it took me 9 weeks yo fully get over covid, and that was bad enough ), and all the other LC sufferers whose comments I've read on this channel, I'm convinced that kindness and empathy helps heal.

[nabarg]

Thanks so much for addressing this. When I was in the most pain, dating was farthest from my mind. Since I started feeling better at the end of last year (am now consistently 90-99% better), I've avoided dating (and most human interaction tbh) to avoid infection (I'm v injured). I've lived a life of a hermit since the pandemic started and even more so since moving/buying a condo/living by myself. I've always been a "weird" ADHD/night owl person so that doesn't help me much. I've been single for almost 4 years and I'm really not sure how to navigate this in the future. This lonely lifestyle has really taken a huge toll on my mental health since I'm primarily an extrovert. Where do I go from here? What do I want my life to look like? How do I integrate back into civilization? Because I need friends/human connection to feel complete, but at the same time I don't want to catch Covid and risk LH. These are the questions that constantly roll around in my head and keep me up at night.

[brookem]

Thanks for making this video. Definitely not helpful for dating and also experience the PEM afterwards that takes a lot of in the moment type activity and makes me instead feel like I have to plan when I can best afford to be exhausted the next day. Extremely frustrating!