AITA My Brother CANCELLED My Wedding

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I N Q U I R I E S:

[Jillian]

Up your guest count to 27, invite someone Irish, and tell your brother “The luck of the Irish will cancel out any bad juju from your monk” 😅

[bettinahooper]

“Pour Grace all over this situation”. Exquisite advice.

[Doodlelydoit]

You should create, “pour some grace on the situation” merch! It’s such a great concept to live by ❤

[jomc]

Here's the thing: the cancelation seems to be related to the nanny's superstition/religion. There is no indication in the story that it's the brother and SIL's religion. If it was their religion, they would have said no when asked to host.
Also, the planning has been going on for a year. Why did it take that long for this whole luck superstition to come up? I think they just changed their minds and are using the nanny/monk's superstition as an excuse.

[lizajane]

The brother isn't expressing a "boundary" he's going back on a promise. Can almost guarantee that the weird superstition is not the real reason they canceled. But whether it is or not, they shouldn't uninvite the brother unless he keeps causing problems/drama.

[kariscarolina]

I think even if I was in the brother's situation and truly believed it would bring bad luck, I'd still host because I gave my word that I would.

[taylor_green_]

Yeah, I wouldn't be so quick to risk a good family relationship over an isolated incident of unreliability that the brother clearly feels bad about already and is trying to make up for

[patricia]

Like you said, it's a very small wedding. If she is not ready to look at him, then she shouldn't force herself to invite him... She has 2 months to fix the mess he made. She shouldn't have to also fix this relationship while she already has so much on her plate. This doesn't means she will end her relationship with him. She has every right to take some time off from this....

[blueiangelkaliver]

I had to help my daughter change her venue 4 days before the wedding! Guest list was 120+
2 months is not that big of a deal. I get the emotions, but honestly, life happens. It's best just to roll with things! At least the brother was trying to fix the inconvenience and gave other options.

[danicarr]

Reddit is definitely full of young people who haven't had to learn the value in healing relationships even though it's difficult

[christinem.kenisonphd]

Maybe they meant Hmong, an ethnic group in South East Asia

[vcutler]

The problem isnt the superstition, to each their own, the problem is how he agreed to host then pulled the rug out after invites were sent AND this wasn't something that just came up, this kind of belief would have been held for longer than 2 months out. I dont think OP is the Ahole for not wanting the brother there. Just dont explain it being about the venue itself and explain it is about the hurt of being flaked on.

[volvoblues]

I believe that many people go into these subreddits with a certain kind of mindset and that creates a kind of culture where "being right" is more important than creating a good outcome.
I definitely understand the feeling of feeling to want to disinvite the brother, but going from there to actually doing it ... that will escalate the situation and that is not what I would want my wedding to be.

[nariamenard]

This is such a weird story. I am religious, Orthodox Christian, and hosting people at one's home in any capacity or feast is one of the most honorable things you can do and can bring you so much blessing. I know every religion is different but I have never heard of a superstition like this.

[ablthomas]

Would I be fricking pissed at my brother but I love him and I can image looking at photos down the road and not have him and his family in them. It's just not worth holding on to that anger when you can just move forward. Remember why you are having a wedding, to affirm your love in front of your loved one.

[mechellepryor]

I agree with Jaime. Invite your brother!

[Octchild]

Its the …

“We’re canceling the wedding because if we have it here we will give you luck and we don’t want that for you.”

Like “I love you” but I don’t want to give you blessings as it may decrease my blessings and I don’t love you that much.

My god, I am an only child but if I believed in this woo woo and had siblings I would be so happy to bring them luck. Take some of my luck, I love you and want nothing but the best for you. I would give the shirt off my back to my friends, why wouldn’t I share my luck?

[Elphaboy]

I fully agree with you Jamie! Yea this is a wildly unfortunate situation and even I would be like “I guess this makes sense?” But he’s also trying to turn the monkey wrench he threw at you into a speed bump and I feel like that’s enough to show he fully understands the situation he caused. I get being frustrated but also you’re right it’s a small wedding so moving it really shouldn’t be too hard in a 2 month timeframe. Not inviting them to the wedding because of this is super juvenile and kind of indicative of a lack of maturity in the bride. I wonder if she should be getting married yet at all

[mariawardell]

I see it that if you uninvite someone from your wedding that you don't see you close or even worse don't want them in your life anymore.

[catherinemaryfairweather]

If I think about weddings, I rarely remember where they were but I remember who was there and wasn’t there.