Things That Don't Make Sense to Engineers | Don McMillan Comedy

Do these things make sense to you fellow engineers?

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🤓Don’s Bio🤓
America's #1 Nerdy Comedian
What do you get when you cross an Engineer with a stand-up comedian? You get Don McMillan. This former chip designer has been doing his one-of-a-kind, PowerPoint-Driven comedy show for audiences for over 20 years. In his show packed with graphs & charts, Don will show you the funny side of your world that has been sitting right in front of you – you are just too busy working to notice. Don graduated from Stanford University with a Master’s Degree in Electrical Engineering. He then went to work at AT&T Bell Labs where he was part of the team that designed the world’s first 32-bit microprocessor. He then moved to Silicon Valley where he helped launch the start-up company, VLSI Technology. Then after 15 years in the tech world, Don quit his job to become a stand-up comedian. That year he won $100,000 as the Comedy Grand Champion on “Star Search”. Don’s been seen on “The Tonight Show”, “HBO”, and the “Comedy Central”. These days, Don spends most of his time writing and performing customized corporate comedy shows for companies like Google, Apple, Amazon, Microsoft, Ford Motors, and Exxon/Mobil. Don has performed more than 800 corporate shows in the last 20 years and he was named the #1 Corporate Comedian by the CBS Business Network.

#donmcmillan #standupcomedy #engineer #comedy #standupcomedian #standup

[rrl]

As an engineer, I built a bin, that matched the furniture, to hold all of those silly pillows. They've been in there ever since, never removed or used.

[peterb]

Philosopher: "Is the glass half full or half empty?"
Engineer: "Who spec'd the wrong size glass?"

[michaelmartin]

"AI will replace you"
"How does AI work?"
"First, the customer tells it what they want..."
"I think we're good"

[MykePagan]

I married an engineer 32 years ago (FYI she is Lehigh ‘86 too, Don). We understand each other very well, but a two-engineer household means that our home has all the charm of an industrial production facility. And our kids have threatened a “no more home automation intervention.”

[RobertCairo]

Another engineer here. It's really hard to turn-off the problem-solving! My wife says that engineers think differently (one of her brothers is also an engineer); saying "That just means we engineers think correctly" was not the right answer. LOL

[silverhammer]

Another engineer here. I have always subscribed to the philosophy, "Who cares how it looks - does it work, is it reliable, is it simple, is it cost-effective, and, most importantly - DOES IT SOLVE THE PROBLEM?" It's a condition called PSD - Practical Solution Disorder. But, unlike most conditions, it leads to societal progress and a better life for all. Fortunately, there is no cure.

[fepatton]

My wife and daughter went to CVS and asked me if I needed anything. I said, yes, I need shampoo. The asked what kind, and I replied, “Extra large.” 😂

[rg]

Engineer here.

My wife bought me a Tshirt as a way to get a message through to me.

The Tshirt says

"I'm an engineer. To save time let's just assume that I'm never wrong"

To which I said

Thank you for finally recognizing it.

That was the wrong statement.

[drameday]

As a retired aircraft mechanic, I can’t even count the times I’ve cursed engineers.
We used to call the most inaccessible bolts “Hellen Keller bolts” because the only way you were removing/installing them was by feel. And God forbid you drop one.

[HarryWHill-GA]

The optimist says the glass is half full. The pessimist says the glass is half empty. The engineer says the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

[ikasugami]

I am an engineer married to an engineer....in our house there are no excess pillows, or bed curtains, or shower squeegee, or unnecessary hair products. 😆

[rodjohnson]

I'm an engineer, and every time I need to buy to a new bottle of shampoo, I discover the one I want has been off the market for about 10 years. Then I'm forced to choose a replacement among the myriad of products in that aisle of the store. I usually end up picking the one that has a bottle of similar shape and color to my old one lol.

[rconger]

P.E. here.
An *_extroverted_* engineer, when speaking with you, looks at your shoes instead of his own.

[golfnzme]

As an Engineer I'm not opposed to adding attractive touches around the house, but I draw the line at unnecessary inconvenience. The dust ruffle, duvet cover, art, knick-knacks, are fine in moderation.

But f*ck right off with those stupid mini-pillows. I'm NOT going to have to disassemble/reassemble my bed every damn day.

[steve-sku]

"i got fat"
"objectively or subjectively?"
"what?"
"one requires data analysis, the other one doesn't"
"your face needs data analysis"
"are you mad?"
"why would I be mad"
"because you look mad"
"no, you are mad."
"I am?"
"ugh"

this really happened

[dntfrthreapr]

I enjoy your standup because its like you have discovered a whole Narnia landscape of funny stuff that no comedian has ever touched.

[roguetorino]

The hair products one really gets me. I ran out of shampoo once so I look over on the other side of the shower to see if she has any instead I found 7 different types of conditioners and not one shampoo!

[ClaySmith-hj]

Engineer here. I explain to people the way I think is like this - my wife asks me to go to the store and get a gallon of milk. If they have eggs, get a dozen. I come home with 12 gallons of milk.

[somerandomweeb]

I have diagnosed myself with the condition of being an engineer based on this video

[theonlywoodyshoes]

My wife has a similar collection of pillows (and yes, I’m a retired engineer). She hates the similar pillows in hotels, says they are dirty and never washed, but to my knowledge has never washed the ones we have at home, and they just get tossed on the floor every night and put back on the bed in the morning. We have to have a cover on the mattress and pillows we sleep on for hygiene reasons, but these other pillows go from bed to carpeted floor and back every day, but somehow that’s OK?