Charity Accidentally Gives People Meth

Come see me live:

Hi Friends,

This week I wanted to share thoughts on a particularly weird story coming out of New Zealand. New Zealand is one of those countries I have always wanted to visit but haven't made it to yet. Known as one of the safer countries to travel to it makes the story even more odd and shocking.

I also wanted to share my thoughts on what feels like the mind migration people are making as far as their political views and opinions. Have you ever had a conversation with someone who had deeply held beliefs on the economy, religion, the 2nd amendment, or women's reproductive rights but the entire time they were talking you were thinking to yourself, how much of this is a performance?

Also with the rise in discussion about critical race theory, DEI, and inclusive language most people have had to ask for the first time what those things even mean as well as whether or not they agree with the narratives. One thing that always bothers me is when a new term or social attitude arises and there are some that, rather than learning with the rest of us, act like they always knew and were ahead of the pack because they're just that good and holy.

We're all learning, about the world and each other, and with that learning comes the need for patience and compassion. New ways of thinking don't always mean right ways of thinking but discussion is the key to better ideas no matter how odd those ideas seem at first.

Hit me on them internets:

Video Directed by Jacob Menache
Recorded at DC Improv in Washington, DC

[JoshJohnsonComedy]

Hi Friends thanks for watching. Make sure to subscribe.

[lesmars]

Out of all those people who spit out that candy, you know there were like, 5 people with undiagnosed ADHD who were unexpectedly having the most productive days of their lives 😂

[sahzus]

Pest control tech here: don’t feel bad about getting mice. You can have the cleanest home, if they wanna get in, they’re going to. It happens to everyone eventually.

[aliceparsons]

I live in Florida, and I have a tiny lizard roommate that lives in my bathroom. The lizard eats the ghost ants that infest our condo when it rains, so they are paying rent.

[theAkornTree]

Seems like someone donated the wrong candy.
Somewhere out there is a drug dealer with a bunch of hard candy that is unexpectedly _actually_ candy, and they are very unhappy

[robertahubert]

How refreshing to find a comedian who is funny without all the vulgar speech. 😂😂❤

[nellyk.]

Okay, but bed bugs are DIFFERENT. They will traumatize you and are so incredibly difficult to get rid of. Insidious lil bastards.

[InfamiTizMe]

Came here and commented Josh to cure my depression and so many of y'all on the comments told me it'll be okay. You all have no idea how much that means to me right now 😭 I love you all...

[GamiCross]

The mice thing? It's as bad as living ABOVE someone with a roach problem. No matter how much you clean - they show up.

[Tonyhouse]

As a long time Josh Johnson fan (since klan ribs), am I the only one grateful that he posts EVERY SINGLE WEEK and doesn’t duck out like all our late night hosts? Josh, you’re the truth; thank you for doing what you do

[meganhosmer]

“We’re at a Denny’s by the way” is possibly the best random information I’ve ever heard inserted into a joke 😂

[L.Schulze]

There was a tiny mouse who would tap on your boot and beg for a Cherrio on one of my deployments. Huge ears, big eyes... everyone was so tired and missing pets and folks at home... everyone fed Fivel.

[kellyalves]

I was watching T V in the dark one night and I looked up at a crack in the door to see a mouse look back at me like “ oh, whoops, you still up? My bad.”

No fear.

[terrimitchell]

My first mice: my little dogs would be on my bed, barking at the walls in the middle of the night, while the mice would be scurrying around. Tried humane traps…then kill traps & sticky paper…then legal poison. Nothing worked. Finally got a scrawny old “yard” cat off Craigslist. He left 7 dead mice on the carpet, over the first week. Each mouse had a neat puncture hole in its neck. Never heard or saw another mouse. The cat is still a beloved & treasured member of the family. Sleeps on the bed. Now a plump cat with multiple dishes filled with kibble, wet food, & treats. He totally rules over the dogs. 🥰🥰

[eskimoblack]

Josh is a very special comedian... Some people tell jokes... Others are just funny people Josh is one of those funny people. He performs weekly and everyone gets a different show . Its absolutely insane

[bethabaloo]

Comments section here really passed the vibe check

[KieranHolroyd]

This dude has consitently managed both quality and quantity... How is this level of art on the internet for free

[tamaral.]

"You could have told NO ONE!" 🤣 Some people want to be influencers so bad that they'll reveal things about themselves that will make you question reality. 😂

[Carebearritual]

in college, i woke up because i thought i had dropped my headphones into my sheets and they were rolling around. when i went to grab them, they wriggled out of my hand. i took a picture on my phone with the auto flash (i was tired, forgot flashlight exists) and now i have a photo of a mouse staring up at my from under my covers.

edit to add: the photo is now my profile picfure

[DustinRodriguez_]

Holy shit I never thought about it before (and I think about this a lot), but your point about diaries/journals is on point. When I was like 12/13, I got a journal for Xmas. I started writing in it, and did so regularly for awhile. But then I misplaced it, and forgot about it for a couple of months. When I rediscovered it, I tried going back and re-reading what I had written. I was HORRIFIED. It was literally one of the most life-changing moments of my entire life (I'm 45 now). I had started hanging out with the 'popular crowd', and in my journal I was picking apart and insulting the friends that I had grown up with but no longer hung out with (because they were 'not cool'). What I had written was so deeply shallow, 'materialistic', mean, judgemental, and just all-around Bad that I recognized that I had become the kind of person that I was morally repulsed by. It is impossible to describe how completely this destroyed me internally. I tore all of the pages that had been written on out of the journal and threw them away.

But then I was worried that someone, my parents maybe, might look through the trash and read what I wrote. So I pulled the pages out of the trash and tore them up into tiny pieces, making sure to year long-ways across the words so that not even a full word would appear on any of the scraps. I was profoundly ashamed of myself. I went back to my prior 'uncool' friends and begged them (and remember, I am a guy in the very beginning of the 1990s, like 1990-91) for not hanging out with them any more. They had no problem taking me back (of course they had no idea what I'd written and I am thankful that I didn't go beyond just thinking/writing the things to actually insulting them in person) and from that day forward I never hung out with the popular crowd or pursued popularity. I can not even imagine how different this scenario would have been if social media had existed. If I had written about it online in some form that I knew could never be retracted or taken back or truly undone... I probably wouldn't be here any more. God damn I knew kids today had it hard but I never thought about how bad the same personal development must be.