Cinderella: Stop Blaming the Victim

Disney's Cinderella has gotten a lot of hate for giving girls a bad role model. But does the movie really deserve this hate? Dismissing Cinderella blames a victim of abuse for her situation and devalues stereotypically feminine traits like kindness, optimism and resourceful imagination.

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[IAMASELENATOR]

I think people miss the point of the film.
It's not about someone being saved by a man.
It is about someone escaping abuse.

[semolinalibra]

You don’t need to wield a sword or kill someone to be a badass woman

[IAMASELENATOR]

"Cinderella" is a very accurate portrayal of what people who are abused go through.
People always say "why not just leave?" but they never ask the abuser, "why did you abuse?"

[shannon_not_found]

Asking an abuse victim "Why didn't you just leave?" is like entering the afterlife, meeting someone who drowned, and asking them why they didn't just swim to the surface.

[BenHopkins]

Agreed. Cinderella doesn't have power armor. Doesn't need it. She wears something stronger: Compassion.

[ninds]

One of the things that annoys me most about how people say Cinderella should "fight back" is that we literally have an example of what happens if her step-family even think she's rebelling. When Anastasia finds Gus under her teacup they all believe she put him there on purpose as a "practical joke" and her workload was tripled for the day as punishment. Sure, a witty remark might feel good in the moment, but ultimately it would put more work on Cinderella's already long list of chores.

[PrincessOfTheWholeUniverse]

"Why can't she stand up to her abuser?"
Has anyone actually stood up to their abuser because it's tough when you see your abuser as the bigger figure and it's a lot scarier too. You wish you can stand up to them but when the time comes, you can't.

[catherinecao]

The sequels reveal another strength that’s undervalued: forgiveness.
Cinderella has no obligation to help Anastasia, but she does. She empathizes with her stepsister, who empathizes with her in turn. They both grew up under an abusive household, and now that Cinderella isn’t bearing the brunt of Tremaine’s abuse, it’s Anastasia who becomes the scapegoat.
Cinderella helps Anastasia not just because “she’s a hero and that’s what heroes do”, it’s because she understands pain and fear, and believes that no one should have to live like that.

[escence_kw]

Honestly, you have to be a very strong person to be abused your entire life but still, choose to be kind and optimistic. That, to me, sounds like real power.

[hinata]

Also she doesnt internalize it. She doesn't believe she deserves to be treated this way. She is in a powerless position and yet she stays confident and practices quite resistance, while still keeping her gentle trusting nature, breaking the cycle of abuse

[whatnow]

"She was forced to value practicality over justice in order to survive."
Most people who watched Cinderella are not able to see this.
And this is another harsh truth about reality which we face in our lives sometimes.

[donnguyen]

Walt Disney’s own words about his first female protagonists: “Snow White was a kind simple little girl who believed in wishing and waiting for her Prince Charming to come along. Now Cinderella here was more practical. She believed in dreams all right but she also believed in doing something about them. When the Prince Charming didn’t happen to come along, she went right over to the palace and got him.” She dreamt of escape and when she did she discovered (or rediscovered since she did have better parents before her stepfamily) what love really is.

[fgv]

I've always disliked the fact that people aren't very receptive of this kind of heroines. It's the edgier ones that get all the praise but for me, being vengeful is easy. It's so much harder to be kind and compassionate after you've suffered. This happens a lot in books too and it's frustrating that the likes of Cinderella get shit on most of the time...

[wodahexe]

Not to mention that dress is probably the only thing for Cinderella has to remember her real mother, so that adds a whole other level to the trauma of it being torn apart.

[Mari-eoyi]

“If she’s being abused why didn’t she just leave?”
As someone who’s currently going through toxic parenting who knows nobody I can go to, you’re right, I should get a plane ticket to my home town, it was so easy for me to leave, cheers, mate.

[tabithariley]

As a past victim of abuse I totally get why she couldn’t fight back.

[stelladeangelis]

Also, Cinderella’s parents died when she was just a child, so Lady Tremaine had time to manipulate her into thinking she needed to stay at the household

[brooklynwilson]

Man. If someone that happy and optimistic after years of abuse, isn't considered strong, then I'm not really sure what strength is.

[youisastar]

The fact that she didn't sink into depression or commit suicide is strength in itself. Traditional women were not weak. Tolerance and sacrifice are characteristic of great women. Whereas women abusing advantage and privilege are not. Cinderella is not a sexist story. I think Cinderella had more story development than Sleeping Beauty and Beauty and the Beast where the heroines were overshadowed by other minor characters.

[s.o]

Wow. What an amazing take on a strong, misunderstood character. Some points I wanna add:

1. People need to understand the time period too. Imagine how hard it is to be a working woman during that era. Her parents are dead and her only family is the evil stepmother/step sisters who have wealth. If she was to rebel violently, she could get kicked to the streets, which could endanger her life. Critics are the unrealistic ones for not understanding the realistic thought-process of an abuse victim who has no where else to go.

2. I like your point about how people think Cinderella got lucky out of no where when she ACTUALLY worked for it. She's the one who feeds the animals, saves mice from the traps, SEWS THEM LITTLE CLOTHES, and cares for them. The person she is (kind, caring, gentle) is what made the animals love her and RETURN THAT KINDNESS WHEN SHE IS IN TROUBLE. This teaches kids to treat people the way you want to be treated. She's NOT weak when they help her escape the room. She is being helped by her friends because sometimes in life you can't do everything alone. She has always saved them so they are returning the favor.

This is an excellent message to young kids.