Answering Your Questions About Asexual and Aromantic Identity Labels

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[emris]

One thing that always gets me about people angrily/annoyed asking questions like “why do you use so many labels?” is like… why do they care? And why do they seem to care SO much? What about me being this specific with my language is so bothersome to them? I genuinely wonder. Where is all this anger coming from? Especially when it is people who I have otherwise had completely normal, chill or even genuine deep convos with before. Suddenly something alien seems to stir within them about me and how I live my own life and chose to express myself.

[Spagettigeist]

I find microlables the most useful in a group that is already aware of what they mean, as you can communicate effectively with a few words where you find yourself. When the other party doesn't know those words you have to explain about the same amount - with or without the lables (provided you want the other to know all that in the first place).
And having multiple labels also makes total sense to me, because as you said - it's complicated.

[viktoriavadon]

I'm very grateful microlabels exist. I never even thought of myself as a-spec until I learnt what aegosexual means and realized that's me. Would never force anyone to use microlabels, but I'm glad the option and the knowledge is out there.

[galacticcat]

Really appreciate microlabels. I was discouraged that the definition of ace didn’t fit me perfectly. Micro labels made me feel seen and gave me a sense of reassurance.

[acereporter]

My take on microlabels ...

I have been feeling like I didn't fit in all my life. Then I finally found out I was aro/ace and when I heard the experiences of others, I was like "tell me I'm not like other aces without telling me I'm not like other aces."

Basically, I questioned the validity of my own asexuality and aromanticism because my experience was not like others.

Microlabels helped me with that.

But I don't talk about them in depth. Asexuality is confusing enough as it is. I just say "due to my microlabels, I feel this way. "

[BEX]

I call myself asexual and bisexual because I'm cupiosexual. Bisexual describes my sexual desire and I feel a ton of connection to the bisexual community snd and it's history

[aronyro]

I love your idea of label as a tool. I agree that labels are good for finding words and community, they help me deshame my experience, but they should not limit the experience.

[Lestaticate]

Usually I like using labels first certain situations. I identify as Pan Aro Ace to keep things short and sweet, but if I need to add more context, I say “Panaesthetic Aego Aro Ace” or “Pan Oriented Aro Ace”. It’s a bit of a mouthful, but I feel it works for me. I think labels and micro-labels gave me a better understanding of myself. If I didn’t learn about the Aego micro label, I feel would’ve been struggling with myself for so much longer.

[rhymeswithmoose]

One of *your* videos about microlabels was how I realized that I was genuinely asexual, so I really value them. I understand folks' reticence in applying them to oneself, but I've always maintained that they are vital to showing the breadth of experience that falls under the queer umbrella and helping people feel able to count themselves part of the community.

[christineburk]

I have several microlabels to describe my particular orientation, and because of them, I don't feel so alone. Some have them, some don't and that's ok!

[glennmckenzie]

Thanks for the video - I like identity categories as a way to test out and compare my own experience. For me they're just information, and I don't necessarily want to use the appropriate ones as identities. (PS: Not sure what audio gear you are using but the level on this post was excessively low - and I'm in a music studio with professional level monitoring)

[edspace.]

Interestingly enough I got asked this question in an LGBT space (QIA+ is left off for reasons which will make sense);
"What I don't get is why you can't just be gay like the rest of us? I get acting normal around The Straights, and to be quite frank we could do with less of the gay men waving their [Ezekiel 23:20] down every street in June. But come on, why do people have to make it so difficult to pick up guys these days. Its like you need a PHD in Marxist Gender Theory just to read someone's dating profile. No wonder The Straights don't take us seriously anymore when we can't even agree on an acronym [at that time there was debate as to whether to add QIA+ to LGBT and MOGAI and GRSM were also being discussed] and a man can't even ask a woman out without being charged with [2 Samuel 13:14]. Sorry to get heated but I just wish we could look normal for once."
Granted I toned down the question (and the Bible references were to avoid possibly demonetizable words, my Norwegian relatives taught me this method their ancestors used when they were in the Norwegian Resistance) but hopefully it makes sense.

[ro-hoe]

I consider myself quoisexual/romantic, I don't understand them, I know I don't feel them to some degree, I've tried finding other labels to how I feel but it's hard to find labels because I don't know how I feel fully