Get hot by becoming your own beauty standard

In this video, I go in-depth about a concept I mentioned in a previous video which is “becoming your OWN beauty standard”. Becoming your own beauty standard is how you become an IT girl. The girl that has that sexy uuuumf. The magnetism. The confidence. Everything. I first start by saying you must analyze yourself - your weaknesses, and your strengths and then use that to build out YOUR own standard of beauty within yourself, what you can improve on, and then create your own personal maintenance calendar to meet your standard. I then talk about letting go of this attachment to “ugly” and instead identifying and choosing to be HOT. When you constantly condition your brain to perceive yourself as ugly, it will go into overdrive trying to uphold that image for yourself. The brain will send the body messages, which form habits to uphold that image of the ugly. You won't dress up, you accept yourself as “below average”, and you'll neglect your appearance, all because you have identified as “ugly”. CHOOSE to be hot instead. Your own version of hot that's unique to you. That is where your real magnetic, irresistible energy will be cultivated. I go on to talk about the importance of being able to present your inside beauty to your outside with non-verbal language. This means, prioritizing your appearance, carrying yourself well, and having that confident energy. Doing this is so critical for the way people perceive you because perception is reality. If you don't appear to be THAT girl, no one will give you energy or time to listen to what you have to say. People are visual and I talk about how it's important to play up to that sense FIRST. Grab people's attention with your appearance, and keep them around with your value. Lastly, I mention that you're swindling yourself out of being confident and hot because you’re choosing to let your weaknesses be your excuses as to WHY you can't be an IT girl or THAT girl. You have a choice. Choose to be hot.

Being an it girl means that you commit yourself to becoming the best you, and doing that with full conviction. You aren't trying to be like anyone else, stop that shit. Have tunnel vision, focused attention ON YOU, and you only. Making YOU the best you and only trying to uphold that image of beauty, grace, and elegance. Not anyone else version, not anyone else’s ideal. That's a waste of precious energy that could be directed at yourself. Anytime you give an outside source attention - meaning you compare, you get sad, you feel unworthy - you are losing fuel.

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FAQ:

Keywords: feminine energy, strong boundaries, financial security, dating, detachment, magnetic energy, well-being, peace, empowerment, personal growth, how to be magnetic, self-interest, dream self, emotional regulation, self-worth, that girl,seeking validation,how to validate yourself,external validation,male validation,stop people pleasing,chasing others,chasing validation,grow your self worth,how to improve self worth,validate yourself sis,insecure,self doubt,people pleaser,chasing men,emotional validation,how to be more secure in yourself,be more independent,level up,self development,stop waiting for people,self love,how to be a confident woman,confident women

[mariagarza]

The concept of setting yourself as your own beauty standard is genius and needed in this post Kardashian era.

[Theprincessinyellow]

This is soo good!! When she said, " you're a dark skinned woman? ok, that's your super power, that's what makes you unique." I immediately thought about how I can just go around and smell like cocoa butter and vanilla and look glossy and juicy lol. No excuses, just become and embody the ideal that you are the beauty standard.

[Sallyy]

I have always believed that there are no unattractive women, they just don’t care. I spent all my 20s looking very unattractive, because I was convinced that girls who put time, effort and money to look hot, are vain and stupid. Mind you, i have had friends who would spend thousands of dollars on every new product or procedure, and i didn’t want to spend any money on this, so I dropped the ball. Years later, I discover my own beauty points and enhance them and I look amazing, and even better, unique! All this with below average spending, like what I would pay for shampoos or pads.

[renatacampos]

"if you don't have haters, you're doing something wrong" I like it. But remember it's only a few haters, if everyone pulls away from you at some point, maybe there's something wrong with you.

[pennypenny]

Hanging around women who are 10+ years older than me, they remind me of features I take for granted. They are like my angels in disguise.

[soupafleye]

so many insecure men need to take this advice. they’re not confident and won’t work on themselves and then proceed to complain about not having a partner or friends or a career. you have to take accountability and initiative. operate in your most confident state and everything you wish to attract will follow.

[bigcan]

I started the habit of whenever I looked in a mirror, instead of highlighting the things I didn't like, I highlighted the beautiful things, and ignore the other ones, taking them as a background thing. That eventually made me consider myself as naturally beautiful, because I developed the right eyes to see it. Then I understood that all the "uglies" are transitional things that, when you carry yourself as beautiful, simply change.

Make sure to compliment yourself in personal ways, like your beautiful way of describing things, or the sound of your laugh, look at yourself as if you were a poet that is absurdly in love with you, even write a poem or draw if that's your thing, then everything about you becomes simply beautiful, because it belongs to you, and you are just infatuated with yourself.

[shirleyohara]

Beauty and being feminine is a gift for all girls

[sarahd]

Audrey Hepburn was not the beauty standard of her time, but she did what worked for her. Making the best of her unique beauty instead of trying to “blend in” with others beauty is why she’s such a timeless stand out.

[bleeploughly]

I started doing this a few months ago but I didn’t know what to call it. I realized I started growing as a person when I look at other gorgeous, successful women and I’m happy for them, not jealous. I’ve been putting more effort into my appearance and people have noticed. My mood has been better, I feel better, my skin is better, everything is better.

[pretichaturvedi]

Presenting yourself nicely is respectful to yourself and others around you. Thanks for encouraging doing your best!

[ashleysnow]

Honestly way back in the day woman wouldn’t be caught outside the front door without dressing up and upholding there beauty, and it didn’t matter what you physically looked like, you got up got dressed did your hair and put yourself together. This isn’t pretending to be someone, this is becoming someone!

This is you having love and self care, and it’s needed!

[truthinlovemama]

This rings true. Years ago, I went to an open interview. They had multiple managers interviewing people. My first interview didn’t seem to go very well, and I got the “we’ll be in touch” line. However, I had dressed up and looked my best. Another manager saw me walking out and said, “Get her- don’t let her leave!” I ended up talking with him and getting a job offer on the spot even though I didn’t exactly fit their desires for scheduling. I stood out just because of the effort I had put into looking professional and stylish instead of wearing jeans like a lot of the other applicants. It works!

3 kids now, a decade older and 20+ pounds… I don’t feel my best. It is easy to settle because I stay at home with the kids. This was a good reminder to prioritize looking and feeling beautiful for me.

[noshoes]

I feel like I’ve always been told I’m naturally pretty so I’ve struggled with downplaying things - I purposefully have looked wrecked for years to make myself look small - baggy clothes no makeup no hair done not the best hygiene - I feel like I’ve made myself small bc I felt like getting all done up really made me seen and I felt uncomfortable by that because it put a pressure on me to uphold that for other people and a fear of aging that if I lean on that beauty when it fades I’ll be nothing - this video helped so much I’m not upholding a certain beauty standard or the young beauty others assign me I’m my own beauty standard and making myself look worse is just bad business lmao I’ll still be beautiful as I change and age because I am now focused on my assets whatever they are at any given point - well time to enter my hot girl era if girls and guys stare then they stare I’m not making myself smaller anymore - xoxo

[la]

I love your vibe, your points and your delivery. Im 32 I pretty sure I’m older than you but you’re the big sis I always needed! Thank you for being there for us, I appreciate you!

[HarrisPilton]

I’ve been saying this for years! Even Hollywood celebrities need a maintenance routine to be beautiful. It just takes effort; not genetics.

[sarah.j.]

Exactly, thank you. It's not a game we created but it exists, so we have to dominate it because nothing is getting in the way of what we want.

[belinda]

'thats not being catfish, that’s being smart' 🤣 well said

[nerd]

I am so glad you made this video. I'm gen X so I look around and I don't understand why so many younger people these days all want to get plastic surgery to look like the same person. I grew up knowing beyond a doubt that everyone is unique and beautiful. It just takes the right formula to bring out a person's best parts. Don't be ashamed of your differences. Embrace them. Your unique traits are what make you beautiful

[tthierryteresa]

I'm struggling with aging. This is the most difficult case of believing in my hotness, in my own beauty and m'y own standards. Society standards are not helping. But this talk is a good talk and I'll apply it to myself. Thank you very much.