The Craziest Inventions Tier List

Human ingenuity knows no bounds. From a skeleton meant to elicit confessions from criminals to a butt-kicking machine to a baby delivery device that shoots the baby out with centrifugal force, these are some actual ideas that actual people have gotten actual patents for. God help us all.

Here are the patents:
The Crime Skeleton

High Five Apparatus

Butt Kicking Machine

Butt Kicking Machine X4

Toilet Breather

Saluting Hat

Rat Treadmill

Brass Monkey Ball Drop

Plow Gun

Bathing Machine

Baby Flinger

Want to support the channel? Here's how:

Check out my 2nd channel, Joe Scott TMI:

And my podcast channel, Conversations With Joe:

You can listen to my podcast, Conversations With Joe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Follow me at all my places!

LINKS LINKS LINKS

TIMESTAMPS
0:00 - Intro Sketch
3:34 - History of Patents
6:29 - The Crime Skeleton
8:19 - The High Five Machine
9:38 - Butt Kicking Machine
12:39 - Toilet Breathing Hose
14:18 - Saluting Device
15:19 - Rat Treadmill
17:18 - Brass Monkey Ball Drop
18:14 - The Plow Gun
19:15 - Automated Bathing Facility
21:45 - Sponsor - Brilliant
23:00 - The Baby Flinger

[fulmerduckworth]

I'm a nurse who works with dementia patients. In my opinion about the human car was is it should be in the F category. Traumatizing the patient is an understatement. When bathing confused patients the best solution for doing it safely is direct human interaction. We have to bath our patients as calmly as possible and communicate with them the entire time. Constant reassuring that they are ok. The whole issue with cleaning confused patients is they do not understand what we are doing and why we are doing it. From their perspective they almost always feel like they are being attacked and which is why they fight us. The more we can reassure them that we are helping and not attacking the better things go.

[lasthopeofhumanity]

The metal monkey is an expertly nailed dad-pun on the phrase "It's freezing in here, cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey"

[jayrey]

This could easily become a series - easy enough to create and research while entertaining and educational! More please!

[salahudeeniqbal]

Can we just agree joe has the most diverse dining room possible? What other room has acted as a boardroom, the location of a time travel bubble and an ASMR testing facility

[atoth]

Automated bathing facility sounds like something out of a Wallace and Gromit skit.

[KG-VanityInKnickers]

That centrifugal birthing table... I laughed so hard. And when you mentioned the net, all I could think was "that's going to leave a mark". 😂😂

[liammcnulty]

“For every Quantum Computer there is a Monkey Ball Dropper” truly words to live by

[nancycowell-miller]

Yes! Part 2! And I'm glad you brought the silly sketch opening back! ❤

[mattegan]

Not sure about in the US, but in certain parts of the UK, to say 'It's'Brass Monkeys', means it's very cold. Comes from the phrase, "Freeze the balls off a brass monkey" which had something to do with the means of transporting cannon balls around a ship - when it got cold, the metal would contract, and the cannon balls would fall off it... so the legend goes.

[liamcollinson]

The crime skeleton is just so fun its the sort of thing Disney would make if they owned a prison

[msalazar]

Definitely a multi-part series is needed Joe. This subject has so much potential. Perhaps an on-going, never ending series. And in a vernacular reminiscent of you Joe, “highly inspirational”. Who knows what great inventions will spawn from your bringing to light these mind blowing ideas. Even better would be to find the working model of some of these. The possibilities, as with the patent content, seem endless……
I truly enjoy your work, Joe.

[davidadams]

"For every quantum computer, there's a monkey ball dropper.", Joe Scott, 2023. I never thought I'd be hearing that when I woke up this morning.

[ASHl]

Joe, I humbly ask you to PLEASE make a part 2, I’m sick and this really brightened my day!

[jimjam]

I love your opening skits. Not many educational content creators do that and it's entertaining af

[ahuber]

My 13 year old daughter has severe mental and physical challenges, including cerebral palsy and autism. When you were first describing the people car wash, I agreed it seemed creepy and inhumane. But on second thought, my daughter loves water and wind and would probably really enjoy a people wash "ride". I don't think she experiences embarrassment, but she is strong enough to hurt herself and others. I don't know how people could be comfortably secured and still get thoroughly cleaned, but I can see the appeal.

[SlyPearTree]

I like that the birthing machine rings a bell when done, that way the doctor does not have to pay attention to the process, they can do something else, like catch up on their reading.

[davidlobaugh]

Dang you stepping up your game. Excellent acting and camera work. Excellent writing. Killing it buddy good work.

[The_Viscount]

One of my favorite patents was a mouse trap design. It consisted of a pressure plate and a lever. It also had a device to hold a revolver pistol. That's right. This patent is for a mouse trap conversion kit for a firearm.

[rodddossantos]

You have, have, HAVE to make this an ongoing segment!
You said it yourself, you'd have heaps of material to work with!
I laughed my head off not to mention learned something new! 😆

[trevinbeattie]

14:21 I remember seeing the “saluting device” way back when I was a kid, also known as a “self-tipping hat”. As I recall, the idea was that the device would lift up the hat when the wearer tipped his head forward through the movement of the pendulum in front, allowing hands-free operation. I’m not certain where I read this from, but a quick Google search suggests the book “Weird & Wacky Inventions” by Jim Murphy (1978).