I Don't Ever Want to be a Mother. Here's Why.

Huge news, our first ever video is live! This one is personal. We explore my choice to be Childfree and debunk some of the myths associated with people who choose not to have children. We historically look at the role of children, societal understandings of motherhood, and track birth rates across generations to understand where the supposed ‘maternal instinct’ comes from.

Key resources used in this video:
- Dr Amy Blackstone, Childfree by Choice: The Movement Redefining Family and Creating a New Age of Independence, 2019.
- Anne Allison, Precarious Japan, Duke University Press, 2013.
- Julie Groot, Isabelle Devos, Ariadne Schmidt, Single Life and the City 1200-1900, 2015.
- Elaine T. May, Barren in the Promised Land: Childless Americans and the Pursuit of Happiness, 1997.
- S. Philip Morgan, Late Nineteenth-And Early Twentieth-Century Childlessness, American Journal of Sociology, Vol. 97, No. 3.
- McCrindle, The Baby Bonus Generation, 2013.
- The Nation, The Disturbing Rise of ‘Femonationalism’, 2019.
- The Conversation, What the baby bonus boost looks like across ten years, 2017.
- The Australian Institute of Family Studies, Household division of labour from 1991 to 2016, 2018.
- Gary L. Brase & Sandra L. Brase, Emotional regulation of fertility decision making: What is the nature and structure of “baby fever”?, 2012.

[Thecraftyblacksheep]

As a mother to a adorable and sweet 2.5 year old little girl; I do not regret having her but what I can say is that it’s not for everyone. Parenthood is exhausting. Its not selfish to not want children. It’s selfish to have them and then neglect them.

[smochinaverde]

My best friend went from “you’ll change your mind” or “you’ll see what it’s like soon enough” to “sometimes I’m jealous of your decision to not have kids”.

[Stranger_Strange_Land]

I broke up with a guy after 4 years because he told me he would replace my birth control with candy. It scared me a little but also opened my eyes to the fact that i wasn't the right person for him

[donnellcarlson]

Years ago a newly married colleague asked me when I was going to have children. I told her that I wasn’t going to have children. She stated, with far too much confidence, that when Id been married for a while that I’d change my mind. I took far too much pleasure in saying, “well, I’ve been married for 13 years and am still not going to have any.” She left me alone at that point. I’ve been married for 28 years now and still no children. Guess I knew more about myself than she did.

[cherylmorrison]

If you don’t want kids, don’t. Easy decision. Kids deserve parents who want them. So many people feel the same way. Our overpopulated world doesn’t need more unwanted children.

[plamid]

'You're complete the day you were born. The life is about you, everyone else is a secondary character.' My friend you said it all!

[leunam]

90% of life’s problems will never happen if you don’t have kids.

[serenaroseauthentics]

I turn 44 this year. Never had the urge to have kids. Always knew it. Got zero regrets and a wonderful life

[gregwarner]

Anne and I did not want to have children. We were married for 52 years without children. We were not alone. She passed away a year and a half ago. Now I understand lonely. Lonely can be quiet and difficult. In my case I found things like You Tube and people like you. You have helped me get through the depression. Thank you.

[lynneramsey]

55 yrs old and childfree. No regrets. My biggest concern was I would be vulnerable when I'm a senior, until I took care of my Mom. I am the youngest of six and stepped forward to take care of my mother when no one else did. Cost me a decade of my life. She died over 10 years ago and I'm still pissed at my siblings. They did NOTHING! Haven't spoken to them since Dad died. There is no guarantee there will be anyone to take care of you when you're old. And it should NOT be your children's responsibility either. That is selfish! I've never been bothered by other people's judgements. They can go pound sand. Cheers to you Eva!

[navycrewbrother]

I’ve really seen the zeitgeist shift on this. As a 40 year old guy who’s never wanted kids I’ve gone from people recoiling in disgust in my 20s to parents now confiding in me that maybe they shouldn’t have had kids. Declaring yourself to be child free reduces your pool of potential partners, but leads to a much happier relationship in the long run. No hate to those with kids; I have friends who are parents who totally love it.

[dmunoz]

A friend of my husband once told him, “its a blessing if you have children and it’s a blessing if you don’t.” And it’s true, so many responsibilities and life changing things happen when you have kids…my husband and I had 4 we recently lost one of sons, that is the hardest thing a parent can experience, to bury a child. Our son was married and they had no children, not because it was their choice. Families come in all forms, from your friends, to your pets, and life is not defined by how many children you have or didn’t but by how you lived it, how you treated your neighbors or the stranger s in your journey. The kindness and goodness you pass on to the world. Good Luck on your life journey

[cass]

I never wanted children and confess I relented to the pressure at 37. I absolutely love my kids, but, if I had my life again, then I would listen to my instincts. I’m not a natural mum, I have to work hard at it, I’m an introvert, I like my space, I like quiet, people talk to much, life is very social when you have children and that’s not me. Because I went against my instincts I had to work much harder to be a good mum. Listen to your instincts!

[ofhawksandhummingbirds]

I remember shocking adults as a 5 year old... they didn't believe me when I'd say matter-of-factly that I neither wanted to be married nor have children. Still going strong over 30 years later. 💪🏽🤸🏽‍♀️

[HansensUniverseT-A]

As a 31 year old man i chose a quiet life without a partner and children, paved my own way instead of following the traditional handbook, stay truthful to yourself don't let anyone infringe on that.

[ngonigriffith]

I am 50, single never married, and childfree. I am so glad I never had children. I am able to take care of my elderly parents without any worries. I have traveled, I completed my education, I have worked. Most importantly, I am happy.

[kjellfrode]

One positive thing about social media is that all of us who don't want children don't feel so alone anymore.

[realdragon]

I like how "you're selfish" and "who's gonna take care of you when you're old" are both arguments to have kids. Like having kids so you can take away part of their own life to take care of you isn't selfish

[robsledgegroupie]

"Who's gonna take care of you when you're old?"

I love how parents PRESUME they won't alienate their kids and that they'll have time and energy to actually care for them in old age.

The people paid to care for me will watch after me when I'm old 🤷‍♀️ same as many parents

[wessager]

In America, I personally know of more parents taking care of grown children, than children taking care of aged parents.