Why I live a selfish life (and why I love it)

"As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others." -Maya Angelou

I hope you guys like today's video!

Timestamp:
00:00 Intro
02:06 Being a people pleaser
03:07 Becoming my "Authentic self"
03:57 Minimalism and its impact
04:48 Defining "selfish"
07:01 Reflection

-C O M E S A Y H I-

-I N Q U I R I E S-

-M U S I C-

-C A M E R A G E A R-
(All videos are filmed and edited by me)

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[MrGaryCampanella]

71 year old man here. Nope, not selfish. We have only one life. And Maya Angelou has it right.

[BBzaimon]

I used to wonder why people mistreat me. Why people walk all over me and in therapy I realised that’s because I’m a people pleaser who gives out an impression that it’s okay to mistreat me. My kindness and my niceness was always misused and seen as a sign of weakness. I want to say that even your family and close friends will step over your boundaries if you don’t stop being a people pleaser. So treat yourself with respect, create boundaries, and start saying no.

[tiffanycraig]

I feel like every woman in the 20s and 30s should watch this. I love how strong you are in sharing your own changes. Thank you.

[sarastilleke]

This is such a lovely video. I think especially as women, we are conditioned to be “people pleasers, ” even at the expense of our own authenticity. Thanks for sharing!

[MarshmilloJB]

As the only daughter of immigrant parents, I've grappled with my mom calling me selfish. I like that Sophie laid out selfishness beyond the negative connotation as having boundaries and not being a people-pleaser. I especially love that her realism and life experience yielded the conclusion that disingenuous selflessness doesn't benefit anyone. If being selfish means I prioritize my health and sanity over seeming pleasant to others, then I will continue to love myself enough to be selfish.

[nathananderson]

I owe this person the courage she gave me to start my YouTube channel 2 months ago about self development and now have 61 subs and almost 40 hours watch time. I know it’s not comparable with others but I’m still proud I started because I’ve been learning so much lessons that I couldn’t have learned without getting started in the 1st place

[nicky_bee]

I'm with you girl, it's never too late to start living for yourself 😎 (I'm 35)

[tarrynpitts]

"if you don't take control of your life someone else will"
I allowed people to take the drivers seat in my life and gave away so much of my power. I decided to take my power back and the resistance I was met with was brutal. So worth it though. I feel free now. I feel peace and empowered. My therapist has been such an important part of my journey in this!

[hitishasharma]

I used to think I was an introvert but then just started saying no and letting go off ppl, places and situations that weren't a match for the type of freedom, sobriety and empathy filled-life I wanted to lead. Soon afterwards, I started running into and inviting more and more ppl who matched my values and my heart felt so much joy in their company, events and outings. I now have a really big friends circle who I am very honest with, easily say No to without feeling judged and have the opportunity to truly love. It is very liberating <3 You can not be a ppl pleaser and yet not be alone. Believe in standing up for your own personal values and go through the necessary solitude for sometime. It will make everything new that much sweeter.

[nkaujhmb]

This video couldn't have come at a more perfect time. I was telling myself this yesterday. We are afraid to hurt other's feelings, but we hurt ourselves when we people please. Sometimes, it's okay to disappoint, but make sure it's with good intentions and beneficial to your own wellbeing. Thank you for sharing this video.

[MaraBettencourt]

People pleasing can definitely take a toll on your overall wellbeing. Prioritizing our needs is essential to keep us balanced. Healthy selfishness is crucial! 💓

[G.tanaboon]

I had 5months break from watching your videos. I went into such a busy period. I was easly getting angry, easly irritated etc. I felt like I lost joy of simple every day life. Like Ive forgotten how to slow living. Omg I was missing your calm voice and calm videos. Hope to be back on truck now and get back to peace! Finally

[Calcifurr]

I’m stuck in a rut right now in my life, because I don’t know what direction I’m headed towards. All my life, I’ve listened to others. I’ve listened to my parents, my siblings, my friends shape and mold my decisions of what career and life I lead.

Once I finally got into my career after 10 years of education after high school, I was the most miserable person I’ve ever been. It was super hard to stay in that profession, but it was even harder to leave.

Now I’m jobless, have no money, still live with my parents at the age of almost 30, and have nothing. But I feel a sense of calm wash over me. I finally can pursue a meaningful life and career that matters to me. I’m still not sure what kind of life I’ll lead, but I know I’m a capable person who can be very much successful.

I hope I can look back at this comment in a few years and smile as I know I’m in a better place.

[anamisidro]

NO is a healing word.
Thank you for the beautiful and tender video. 💚

[madcatlady]

"If you don't take control of your life, something or someone else will." Malama coming in strong with a KO from just her first sentence! That quote hit me hard. Love your work Malama x

[dalilagonzalez]

This video came in just in time for me. Being a people pleaser, saying yes to everything, and putting others first has been drilled into me from such a young age. As I get older I realize this is only harming me. I am unlearning this way of thinking as painful as it is to accept, it’s also a feeling of relief, the relief of weight being lifted off my shoulders. The weight that no one asked me to carry but myself.

[stellalee]

Being selfish was such a difficult task for me and still is, but as I got older, I learned that I was destroying myself with the ideology of a good child syndrome. The fear of not being everyone’s favorite and doing things to please others eventually destroyed myself and my relationship with THE most important people around me. My anger would build up and eventually I would lash out at my husband or my mom… But I’m learning and growing. Thanks Sophie 😊

[cherrycain]

I’m learning to stop being such of a people pleaser. I have so many problems with my nerves, anxiety and my health But, I’m giving it all to God. Trying not to let others get in my way.

[NateshasAmbience]

I've definitely dealt with my share of people-pleasing. I never even allowed myself to have an opinion. I just did what I was supposed to do because I cared so much about how others saw me. I've been learning to think for myself. What a self-discovery journey this past year has been! Thanks for sharing your experience and for letting us know that we are not alone. 🥰🙏🏽

[stargazerbird]

So sad people are raised this way. I was loved just for me as a child and no pressure to perform. It’s given me an unshakable core that has helped me through the occasional pain that life inevitably throws our way.