Gender nonbinary vs. Gender-fluid (and other words!): Understanding Gender.

Understanding the 'gender revolution" can be tricky and confusing. In this video, Dr. Lorri Sulpizio talks about why people are pushing back on gender, and she explains two commonly used terms: gender nonbinary and gender-fluid.

01:44 defining sex and gender
02:42 defining gender
05:45 gender nonbinary
07:30 gender-fluid

Interview with Dr. Debra Soh, author: The End of Gender

[Dibious]

I'm a cis man and I really enjoyed this video. I'm fascinated with the different ways that people live their lives and all the different kinds of people out there. You're video was very educational, thank you.👍

[boacowstrictor]

I cried hearing you describe how you identify and explaining everything because it made me feel more seen and like i belong as a person more than ive felt in a long time and finally gave me the confidence to say that i am nonbinary/genderfluid. And that its okay. i dont have to be anything i dont want to be or that i simply am not. im really nervous and scared because my family doesnt understand these kinds of things and they hate seeing me as anything other than a feminine girl, but ive decided i want to be real and happy and that means being who i genuinely am around my family too. im going to come out to everyone when im ready and can see them all in person. Thank you for being a part of this community and helping so many people like myself. i hope you have a beautiful life.

[hsgjkhagljkh]

I'm in my 40s and all of this makes so much sense about my identity. I've carried shame for years from other's criticisms that I was "a little too masculine" or "not girly enough." Deep down I've always felt pretty neutral about my gender. I just thought I "should" be more feminine. I wish more older generations were open to exploring their own identity. This journey of healing is going to be so empowering for me...thank you Dr. Lorri!

[chriscyanide]

This video gave me chills. I'm not in a place where I can comfortably present myself the way I would like to, but hearing that it's okay to do so brought me a lot of joy. Thank you

[mikeschmidt]

I never really felt like a "full woman" or "full man". I am shaped like a woman with the skull shape of a man. I enjoy "woman" characteristics and "male" characteristics. I used to hate my male side because I thought it would make me a "lesser woman". There are days were I'm super girly and days I'm acting super manly. I sometimes prefer all pink/purple and sometimes all blue/green. One day I enjoy wearing men's perfume and another day I wanna smell like roses. I sometimes go through the women's clothing section and I'm in love with everything. Another day I avoid it like a plague and fall in love with the men's section.

I always thought that this state makes me nothing but a weirdo. Hoping one day I'll be a "proper woman". But today I talked with a friend. I recently realized I might be pan and he also said he has the same "issue". I talked about my gender issue and he jokingly brought up the question "What if your future partner called you a he/dude one day?"... The thought made me happy. But I'm also happy being called a she.

I don't know if this makes me gender fluid.. But ever since he brought that up I've been questioning myself so hard haha

[tobiasruland]

I was born as a biological man and live openly as non-binary bigender. My biggest problem is not language or clothing or toilets. My biggest problem are people who act out their transphopia on me and insult me or try to hurt me though I am a peaceful compassionate human being.

[professorg]

We are an OSDD system with autism. Our brain is gender fluid. We have spend the last few years struggling with agoraphobia and disordered eating. We appreciate your existence! Thank you for bravely sharing your wisdom and understanding with the world. One rainbow at a time. 🤘🔥🧠

[Brian.]

I identify as a man, but I like to dress some women’s clothes while still trying to fly under the radar. My wife doesn’t like it so I’m kind of restricted as to how feminine I can go. I’m not looking to wear a dress and high heels but I would like to be able to wear womens clothing on the edge of androgyny

[lilykatmoon]

I’m so glad I found this video and your channel. I’m just figuring things out in my early fifties. I just came out to myself and my family at 49. This was also the time I was diagnosed as autistic. So many things coming together all at once and my life making so much more sense! I say genderqueer for myself, because I’m still learning myself- I just know I don’t feel like a woman is supposed to even though I’m AFAB, but I don’t feel like a man either. Honestly, just being honest with myself that I wasn’t a cis gender straight woman. I’m also realizing I’m on the ace spectrum too, but even in all the uncertainty, I know I’m on the path to meeting my authentic self and living authentically gives me so much peace. I’ll definitely go check out your previous videos. Thanks for sharing your expertise and experiences with us.

[arielmunoz]

This is very educational... Thanks for clearing this up... I feel like I identify as a Nonbinary, but I don't really care to be considered a They/Them, or a He/She... I'm just myself and body is female, but I don't feel either masculine or feminine.

[rradcm]

How refreshing to finally hear someone break down and explain these terms in a way that not only makes sense, but seems less threatening. It’s a much better conversation than being force fed these terms, and risk being called phobic when we don’t comply..thanks!

[mgallagher]

Three comments..
1) Lorrie, I'm so grateful for this video and your interview if Dr. Soh. I've learned so much from you, and really appreciate your perspective and interest in clarity.
2) For me, the semantics distinguish between gender identity (our internal sense, which is probably biological) and gender expression (acts we take, probably based on interpretation of gender identity). This leads me to wonder though how much our subjective interpretation of gender identity is influenced by social constructs and stereotypes.
3) I am man with a nurturing, collaborative nature but have never thought of that as feminine or experience any sense of self that wasn't male. Can't I think of those traits as within the range of a male gender identity? Could it be that rather than gender being the social construct, it's our culturally based stereotypes on what we imagine male or female identity and behavioral interests feels like?

[apab]

I’ve come to really appreciate gender nonconforming women, and how they help open up the category in society of how a woman can be for all of us. Thank you!

[ljgardenia]

A good video, but I would like to add that there should be discussion too about the difference between gender identity and gender expression. The two are not automatically the same thing, and defining gender as "the outward expression of our sex" can be misleading. One can very much be gender fluid, non-binary, agendered, bigendered, etc, but not outwardly appear so. Likewise, one can dress as the "opposite sex" but still identify as cisgendered. There are many reasons why someone may or may not choose to express their gender outwardly, and these reasons are just as complex as gender identity itself. Clothes, hair, makeup and the like are all great tools that can allow us to discover and explore our gender identity, but they aren't necessary for that, and it's good to understand that gender expression is different than gender identity.

[victoriawilley]

This was super helpful to me! I’ve been trying to figure out which one I am, only recently switching to she/they pronouns, and I have to say I was delighted to hear you describe your gender and relationship to it, as that’s basically mine too. I identify as a woman and am comfortable with that, so I wasn’t sure if that meant I’m not really gender nonconforming. But I think I was right before, that gender fluid describes me best. Thank you for this video!

[ericalearyatl]

This is a great video. It's confusing to many of us :) So I loved how you added text and examples and laid out your story!

[DragonGamer]

I have struggled heavily all my life being bio female, but being masculine in nature. I had a boy name and a girl name before I was born and in some strange, headcanon way, that might've triggered something in me.

I wasn’t exactly "bullied" for my boyish nature (I learned later I was bullied for my mental issues), but I did notice as I grew up, I didnt have any friends. Girls avoided me because I was a brute and guys avoided me because I was a "girl" and thats all they saw. I think it was in middle school I heard the term "tomboy" aka "a girl that acts like a boy" (in the simplest of terms to a kid) and THAT became my label.

I still hold that label to this day, but learning that genderfluid is more or less the same (depending on mood, events, etc), I felt like "Genderfluid" was the official label to put on my gender. Im still a bio female, but I can answer to any pronoun/gender nickname (dude, bro, bestie, sis, girl, etc), keep my hair short (my hair long is a NIGHTMARE to maintain!), love men's clothes especially t-shirts, and holy crap the video games and horror movies I have see/played in my lifetime?! But I have noticed as I got older that I like to wear certain jewelry, like fruity alcoholic drinks (although I can drink straight vodka but haven't in years), like to write romance fiction, and online browse/shop.

Yeah, I'm Genderfluid. Thank you for this video. Ive struggled for awhile to figure out if I was Genderfluid or not, but thanks to you, I figured it out.

[davefitzgerald]

Very interesting discussion. Talking is positive and constructive. Thank you.

[lisaflato]

Great talk, I'm going to share with others. This will be an ongoing conversation as we break down the walls needed for all to be welcome at the table. I definitely see the ways in which I've gendered my children, even though I thought I was trying not to. Thanks for your work, I respect you so much!

[naiburu]

Your interview with Debra was great 💯
I don't get why people attack Debra Soh she's very caring and respectful to trans people...there are much WORSE things being said to Trans people.