Math People Are Lonely

There are a lot of people in the world and a large number of them are very lonely. In this video I address the topic of mathematics and loneliness. I try to provide two solutions that might help you fend off loneliness. Do you have any advice or opinions? If so please leave a comment below.

I will also show you some of my math books. The books cover Calculus, College Algebra, Linear Algebra, Topology, Abstract Algebra, and Real Analysis. I hope you enjoy this video.

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[gamerpedia]

This video hit hard. I've always had a hard time making and maintaining healthy friendships; partly due to all my time sunk into STEM topics, namely math and computer programming; and partly due to the mental health issues that I've been dealing with for years. I really appreciate that this isn't just a "Poor, Poor, Pitiful Me"-type of video and that you actually give what seems to me to be really sound and solid advice. I appreciate you and everyone else here more than I can say.

[girlinthegalaxy]

I am weak in math and I am trying to change that. As a STEM student, its been really hard coping with the mathematics coursework. I love your channel. It gives me hope to get better.

[Halasulimann]

That's right, at lunchtime at school, I was sitting alone with my math book and solving equations
But I'm happy now because I thought I was the only one.
But the strange thing is how some people see mathematics as a boring and difficult thing, while others see it as a best friend when they feel lonely

[Zone_Stomper]

If you're lonely because of your work, find some people that are doing the same type of work.

[austingubbels]

Mathematics is a very niche subject. Everyone takes math classes in school, but a majority never even get to study calculus. Most of those who even get that far never go beyond that, and even most who get to calc 3, diff eq and linear algebra take those classes because they are in some other STEM field. On top of that, I always have to remind myself that a lot of people forget most of the math that they learn.

It's so hard to talk about my studies/work with people because on top of the smallness of the population of people who are conversant with some abstract mathematics, it's not like other fields where a short "blurb" summarizing the area can start a conversation. A lot of the time, explaining the mathematical work I do just goes right over people's heads. It's very isolating.

There's also the stigma, stereotypes, and assumptions that people often associate with math people, and often these distance people from us because they make us seem unrelatable and 1-dimensional people.

Fortunately, there are some outside of mathematics that have the respect and wisdom not to put us into a box, and can actually appreciate what we do. I'm lucky to have married someone like this, since they are hard to come by.

[emiliobesana]

your math videos help me when I'm going thru tough times even for non-math related reasons

[iammaxhailme]

I'm a math person, ex grad student (in physics), all that jazz, was never particularly interested in deep relationships beyond "casual friends to play video games with once or twice a month" until I was like, nearly 30. although I think that was mostly becuase it's when the burnout hit really hard.

life's more than being brainy

[amesoeurs]

the loneliness is not just because you spend time studying and neglect other parts of life. it's because your mind is constantly off in some kinda platonic realm and other people can't relate to that. it's not necessarily a better way to be, it's just different.

[nils]

Any person that is fiercely invested into an activity is going to tend to spend their time on it rather then cultivating relationships, including myself. Especially with such a timesink as mathematics. You only have a finite amount of time in a day, and sometimes you have to sacrifice other aspects of life.

[TaymonsterAnimation]

Math can get very lonely sometimes... anyhow here are some of the best soul-sucking math textbooks that I know of!

[iyziejane]

The reason I study math is that I crave information (I seek out new facts and ideas). I've found this is my main obstacle to connecting with people. Places like Facebook and Reddit are very low on information (because they consist of repeated predictable messages), and so are most movies, etc. But these are the things that most people like, for some reason that I don't share.

[TheAAZSD]

There is a quote from the Paper Chase, "This is the unbroken chain, knowledge passed from person to person". When I am lonely, I lean on the idea that I am a part of something larger.

That said, I think there is this strange expectation that Mathematicians can sit down and just knock out difficult questions. It takes a lot to convince my students that unless I am working on something with them, where I have made it through the wall of frustration to some level of understanding, that I am doing the exact same thing as them. I struggle, I'm wrong. a lot. But since no one sees anything other than the polished product, there is this assumption that ideas come to the page fully wrought and ready to roar.

So, I think that is one of those lurking factors contributing to the loneliness factor. I hope I am not alone in this, but when people ask me what I do, I usually say I am a Math Educator, and those people tend to then spend some amount of time loudly proclaiming how much they hate the subject. That certainly tints social interactions a bit.

[davidsoto]

I agree with you. I have trouble with this too. I love to read. I love to read about math, physics, and philosophy. I am an introvert but have trouble making friends because I am disabled, because I cannot drive, and because I have trouble with smalltalk. I am 28. I earned a degree in English. I loved studying at the university.

[sophiaisabelle]

We appreciate your consistency all the way. More blessings to you.

[amalgamation]

Even though I am a mechanical engineering student, I am minoring in applied mathematics and I joined a SIAM (society of industrial and applied mathematics) chapter at my university. It's honestly great what kinds of things happen when a bunch of math nerds come together and attempt to socialize LOL. Everyone from freshmen to PhD students to seasoned professors show up to our meetings and seminars and its quite wonderful :D I'm currently running for secretary!

[barkingguy]

Finishing my applied mathematics degree this spring! I think you hit the nail on the head - I was forced to become extremely distant with my best friends just because I couldn't handle not succeeding academically. I kept telling myself 'things will go back to normal after I finish x and have a chance to spend time with them' but that never was the case; surprisingly, people close to me would not pause their social lives/growth just because I had analysis homework (/s). The distance eventually became too much and we all just drifted apart. 

I had to learn that the hard way and this semester I finally was able to find some semblance of a balance by working with my peers in my hardest classes which made studying with other students into a place to make friends. Many of those friends have now applied to grad school and as much as I want to go, I'm trying to put the lessons I painfully learned about happiness into practice and take some time to breathe before seriously considering going (...might self study with some of your book recommendations though)

[hamzasehavdic]

it's a peculiar thing. I used to feel like Im different from those who dread loneliness, who fill their time with others to prevent any moment of self reflection. I think people similar avoid recursive reflection that can come with inner dialogue, as that part of us is churning at a concrete problem.

I'm not sure how we experience loneliness, but my gut instinct feels that those who primarily think about things over people, tend to make the most out of solitude. Though, this feature leaves us completely unprepared for the problem of people!

[Ghostrider-ulxn]

Its not just math, people in any field who engage with abstract level work are likely to be lonely because the average person can't relate with their thought process. Its why Intelligent people are likely to be lonely.

[Assault_Butter_Knife]

Too deep man
I'm in my 3rd year of Bachelors program in physics now. I've always been a bit of a loner, a bit of a weirdo. Having hard time interacting and genuinely connecting with people. But this year something happened that broke me completely. I've completely secluded myself, I think I have attended only a couple of weeks of university this semester, and the rest were spent home, alone. I don't know what was it exactly that caused it, but the experience was horrible. I can probably count the amount of social interactions I had this year on one of my hands, so I'm fucked socially, and since I skipped practically every class that I had I am also fucked academically.
I really want to change it, change both of those things. My breakdowns and introspections and other experiences that I had in the past half a year have been very painful but they had taught me important things. I know it is not too late for me or for anybody. It will take an ungodly amount of effort to fix the mess that I have made, but it is possible.
Hang in there people, you haven't truly lost until you've given up. There are many people like you and me that go through these things and that feel the same way, you are not alone

[lade_edal]

Perfect timing! One of the most important videos I’ve ever watched. I’ve been lonely and depressed for so long and had a huge breakdown and hopefully also breakthrough last weekend. I’ve got to change my life drastically. I’ve got to force myself to have a life outside of math. It’s hard, but I’ve got to try and do it for my mental and physical health.