Adopting a child of a different race? Let's talk | Susan Devan Harness | TEDxMileHigh

[NancyCronk]

I am horrified by what your dad send to you when he was drunk. I am so sorry. You are such a beautiful, intelligent, thoughtful woman. You give us all courage. I have watched hundreds of videos of reunions of adopted kids. Closed adoptions have caused so much pain and suffering. The world needs to understand everyone has a RIGHT to know who they are from the earliest years.

[focusbyhing]

As a TRA I relate a lot to Susan's experiences, up until when we was able to connect and meet her birth family.

[DiscordMistake]

I was actually really sad that this is still something we need to talk about, but then I realized that we've come so far in such a short span of time. I've seen so many people in the comment section that are disappointed that we still need to talk about this but remember, we've come so far!

[maryanncardi]

All adoptees would like to know their am white but looked very different (olive skin and brown eyes/hair) my aparents where blond with blue eyes my brother and sister were blond with blue was so horrible every one (school/ neighborhood, random people in public)knew and commented that I was adopted. I use to dream about who my mother was. At times I would wonder if Cher was my mother (when I was young). Once I found my bparents I looked like had my identity. It was amazing! (a little bit of Italian/ Native American/ Irish and British

[Gysele]

Incredibly relatable. Thank you. My adoptive parents are Dutch and African. I'm Indonesian. I was raised in Washington DC. The world has been extremely unkind. I hope people do serious research before TRA. I'm only saying that because I'm almost 50 now and seriously damaged.

[superfrump]

She did a very nice job explaining everything. But her example of the Indian woman, Tasha, in New Zealand has a few issues. Because of her native Indian culture, Tasha’s daughter had to be given up for adoption. I think it’s great that her daughter got adopted and also has contact with her birth mother and thus her heritage. However, just because it is one’s culture, doesn’t make it free from criticism. Lest we forget, it was that very culture which made Tasha give up her daughter for fear of excommunication in the first place! So be proud of your heritage, but also, don’t be afraid to criticize and question parts of a culture or heritage that are harmful or incorrect.

[CheadleFamily]

That's tough. We should all mix as long as nobody is stepping on our rights. Kids should be able to choose to see one or both parents.

[nutellachickeee]

i just had an argument with my friends about adoption and honestly im here and happy to see that there are many people who have the same belief as me in adoption. they argued that there were people like cinderella who suffered when adopted. people like harry potter. but they never thought about people who have only grown to their fullest potential because someone amazing had decided to give them the chance to.

[englishcloud]

I want to adopt in the future and I will definitely not rule out trans racial adoption. And if ever that is the case I want to do it right. I want them to feel pride in their culture. I want them to feel pride and knowledgeable on their history and culture. I want them to feel at home in our culture while also being familiar and passionate about their own. I know this sounds like a utopia but I will try my absolute hardest to make it reality.

[NightinGal]

I grew up in a mixed-culture family and understand her pain. I also felt like I didn't belong anywhere. Even within the same race.

[AbelTesfaye_]

This Is Amazing and I Can relate to your story completely, I lost both of my parents at very young age and grow up in orphanage from the age of 6-11, then I had the opportunity to be adopted to a different race, culture and language in Phoenix Arizona. Thank you for sharing your story

[silverbat]

This talk was eye-opening and inspiring. I have thought a lot about conscious adoption. I never separated closed and open adoption in my mind or realized that open adoption is much more beneficial for the child, especially in trans-cultural adoption. Thank you for this.

[mikeberray]

It's true. You can adopt a child but they remember where they came from.

[aquaman]

I think the biggest thing that came out of adoption is that I was able to know who God is, and I was saved.
Had I stayed with my birth family who came from a reserve, maybe my life would have been worse for me.
By the way, I never had alchohol or drug issues, only issues I dealt with was low self esteem around people but I eventually outgrew it

[TheYlro]

I am pro African parents adopting caucasian children. So thumbs up.

[cgriley]

wish they'd do one on the trauma of being adopted

[tobikeeney]

I am in an interacial marriage with biracial kids. Lucikly we live in my neck of the woods but visit the US a lot, so our kids identify as Nigerian American and have a strong sense of identity as our culture is very accepting of others. However, one is palest of them all and some kids in school always tell him he is white which affects him sometimes, while the darker ones want to be white like daddy. We had to do a lot of education and teaching for them to embrace themselves as unique individuals, but now the older ones are well adjusted while the youngest is still too young to see color the way. older people see it. She is the darkest so only time will tell for her.

[ricardoxc]

I need someone to help me, my ex girlfriend wants to place my child for adoption but as the Biological father I don’t want to but she says that I don’t have the rights or have a say on this, I’ve been working hard and showing her I’m able to raise my child, but she just want me to not be part of my child just because our relationship went down hill, I even told her she can put m on child support but she denied everything and I have No communication with her, but I have the chance to talk to the agency and tommorrow will be the day I’ll talk to the adoptive parents and literally I don’t know if I will say the right things as not to take my baby away, please I need some advice and I’m watching this video and looking for help

[junevandermark]

I've often wondered if some parents adopt children from a different race, to make a point that they are not racially prejudiced. After all, there are lots of children of the same race that need loving homes. I was never inclined to adopt children, as I knew I was not the best of mother material, but had I adopted, it would have been children of my own race, so that the children would feel as "culturally welcomed, " as possible.

[rebeccakisakye]

I really want to be adopted and I live in Uganda and I am willing for any ones offer coz that's my dream to be raised up with a person whom I can call mum coz have Neva seen my birth parents but live in an orphanage in Uganda thanks alot